I went for a walk and wore a dress and didn’t sunscreen my legs because they are so white and I want them to get some colour.
And now I have a burn on the back of my legs plus my arms and neck even though I had applied sunscreen twice on my arms and neck. And how much do you want to bet that my legs will just go straight back to white after this?
My brain is buzzy and can’t focus and my body feels like someone else’s. I feel like I did a lot of drugs, too many drugs. I have done none.
My child spat on the babysitter today. Deliberately. What the fuck, child. Do you not realise that the babysitter is the only thing saving your parents’ last shred of sanity??
OMG 
WHUT? Any idea what that was about?
Just got stung by a waspy thing for the first time in my life. >_<
Nooooo 
It’s surprisingly not as bad as I thought? It took a few minutes for it to even register that it stung me, I thought some rando bug just bumped into my shoulder blade by accident. I put some tea on it which helped lol. I’m still not sure what type of bitey thing it was but I found this guide that made me laugh.
Bummer! Did it leave a stinger in you? Then it was likely a honey bee. If not, probably an asshole/yellow jacket.
He thought it was funny?! He kept laughing about it 
My cat is an anti-belly-rub cat. Attempted belly rubs result in the swift deployment of 20 claws and a mouthful of dagger teeth. Why no cuddles?
No stinger, I think it was one of those mud daubers - I see them all the time, and I was under our back deck where it’s muddy and close to the swamp. Probably just got too close to a nest.
Oh I feel your pain, both of my cats are like that! Makes me sad they don’t want to cuddle all day.
Technically he does cuddle, but only when it is his idea and it doesn’t involve my hands. 
Hmm, could he have seen something on TV that he misinterpreted?
We police his tv pretty carefully. I think he’s just a three year old 
Well, toddlers have an interesting sense of homo(u)r. So something new will be hilarious next week.
I can cuddle my cat all I want as long as I don’t go too close to her tummy.
I’m hungry and I hate everything in my house.
My microwave pappadums did not puff up.
