Do you suffer from negative self-talk? I sure do! I let my brain be much meaner to me than I would let most people be.
So I thought I would experiment with a separate thread where those of us who struggle with negative self talk can come to let some of our ugly thoughts hang out, and where others can provide different perspectives/support for another way of seeing and communicating with ourselves. Have no idea if it will work or not, and I probably will continue my current practice of gently calling out negative self-talk where I see it possibly harming people (mostly in the journals). But this is a place for those of us who are actively working on diminishing this kind of thinking can congregate and offer mutual support.
The magic key for me has been finding positive things and thoughts about other people I encounter in life. Especially people I may dislike. (I don’t force myself to like people by any means, but I can still appreciate their positive traits) My effort there has a direct correlation on how I end up talking to myself, but it feels like less of a battle than directly going for my negative self talk.
I think it strengthens that non judgmental awareness Esme has mentioned.
Not sure I saw this the first time around so I’m glad @hipsail revived it!
I’d like to add that for me, identifying my negative voice was a very important step…taken in therapy, because I had never considered asking where my inner voice comes from. It’s just me, right? But when I thought about it I realized it was internalized from the way my step-dad talked about his coworkers, interns, students (ie not directly to/about me). As I grew into that role I expected my professors and bosses to have the same dismissiveness, pessimism, and negativity he expressed. Except most actually don’t! Thank God because that would be toxic environments all around! I have in fact met many supportive, positive, and helpful individuals in these roles, whom I would strongly prefer to emulate! So these days when I consider my work product or process and hear internal criticism, I can tell that voice, I don’t trust you. You do not have a reputation for accurate judgment in this arena. And I try to think what my college advisors or favorite grad school profs or current managers would say.
