Thank you - this is really good advice. They are going to do an ultrasound on Monday and if she isn’t head down they will schedule a c-section. It is definitely something we will talk about if that is the case!
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We’re opting for tracking and condoms, but it wouldn’t be a huge deal for us for it to fail, and with our IF history it’s lower risk. For you I would probably look into: cooper IUD, scheduling a “tube tie” if you end up with a c/s, a lower hormone pill or insert, maybe a further convo around the arm implant?
BC options definitely suck a bit 
a lot of “no good choices”.
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This is soooo true. I really wanted to like the copper IUD because it seemed like having your cake and eating it too… but alas. (And I was told that if you’ve had one IUD failure, you might have another because maybe your anatomy just doesn’t like it, so I didn’t try the hormonal kind.)
Tried so many kinds of the pill, didn’t like 'em (and had a really protracted time coming off). My niece had a good experience with a different hormonal IUD, not Mirena, I don’t remember the name but it’s marketed for younger women who haven’t had kids.
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Yeah, hormonal BC is very bad for my mental health. It sucks it took me so long to realize that, too. Not sure what we’ll do when we’re done with kids. Maybe depends on how easily or if I’m able to have a second. If it’s another struggle, we might just NT/NP (not try/not prevent) and see if a miracle happens. That’s a long ways off though, so who knows. I guess I can hope reversible options like the injectable foam for men are widely available by then!
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Thanks for the input everyone! Mr E and I have been having this discussion pretty much since we found out I was pregnant and we just discussed it again over lunch. He is leaning toward just using condoms / tracking and getting the vasectomy as soon as he can. We definitely learned our lesson though that you can get pregnant before you have your first pp period, so condoms straight from the start this time!
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Most birth control I’ve been on has worked pretty well for me, but I think I have reduced anxiety when not on hormones.
My husband and I are kind of condom-haters, as people who have only had sex with each other, the first time with a condom and struggled with it, and recently having tried again at nearly 30 to use condoms and stiiiiilll hate them.
Had the copper IUD and it failed (I had a mc afterward), but it was my favorite method besides the failure, so after a few months of struggling with condoms we’ve switched to giving the copper IUD another go but with ovulation tracking and timing as an additional buffer in case I’m just prone to flukes with it.
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Ovulation timing will help when you are ready to TTC for real, too! Anecdotally I’ve heard of people who’ve had more than one failure, but fingers crossed.
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Hoping that since it took 2 years for a failure with no tracking, with tracking + IUD we’ll get to November…
Then again we’re trying to improve our sex life, and chances of an oops at ~1x/week are much higher than ~1x/month…
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Just because it hasn’t been mentioned, condoms aren’t the only barrier method. You might consider a diaphragm, depending on your feelings about condoms as a couple.
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In other news I think after a month and a half the BCP is wearing off and oof, inside my head is NSFW lately. 
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I think that next birth control time it will either be an iud (worked well for me) or internal barrier. Neither of us wants surgery, I can’t deal with estrogen, and condoms are not my jam.
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I’m using condoms for now, which are not really my jam, but also tbh there’s not much time for sex with a newborn. I had wanted to do the depo shot, but my midwife said that since I was concerned about milk supply I should avoid an irrevocable dose of hormones - ie you can’t pull the plug on the 3-month dose. She suggested progesterone pills which I now have in hand. I haven’t taken them yet since I don’t want to mess with milk supply. I will probably revisit after 6 months or so.
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I lurk this thread all the time. Even though I adamantly don’t want to give birth mostly because I (personally believe) I just can’t handle all it entails for multiple reasons. Anyway I wanted to say something now that BC is mentioned. I use nuvaring, but floated an implanon as a longer term idea my last visit with a new provider. She mentioned that, after I brought up my retrograde uterus, an IUD would not be a great option for me. In the back of my head, I was always irrationally worried about the slim chance of IUD failure because of the tilt thing. For not research backed assumptions I had. Or maybe it might be more likely to fall out? She didn’t expand, but it clicked with my paranoia. It was very interesting to hear a provider say that because I’ve never come across it from googling. I only know I have a tilted uterus because I got a transvaginal ultrasound for pelvic pain that was discovered to be caused by my hip sockets having a weird angle (most likely a connection to weird uterus angle too I assume?) I don’t know if lots of doctors bring up uterus shape/position for IUDs or maybe if you could just straight up ask for help understanding the anatomy of your specific uterus. My imaging was kind of coincidental, so not sure about insurance coverage. Female reproductive organs are wild, congratulations to those of us who actually cook with them. Is “cook” considered rude by those who have had children I’m honestly curious. I could drop that usage. Here I go into the shadows again… I would be very interested to hear if any of the medical people we have here know anything more about this, though.
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This is really interesting. I have a weirdly tilted uterus as well and it always makes it hard for the doctors to find my cervix (when I’m not pregnant at least). It is not something they mentioned when I got the IUD. I actually used to use nuvaring when I was in college and then I switched providers and the new doctor said she would never prescribe that for someone who gets migraines and they really decreased when I stopped taking it. So going off that one was a total win!
Also - from my point of view I don’t take offense to the term “cook” 
I always phrase that daughter #1 was born at 37 weeks but was fully cooked and ready to come out 
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I don’t take offense to cooked by any means, but I also have a dark sense of humor on the whole, so I’m probably not the best reference point.
(Like anything though, if it was used in a context meant to be judge mental, it could feel bad)
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I have absolutely heard all kinds of cooking related terms but I’ve never heard it used quite like this and I think I find it adorable (but I am also a big fan of baking in general).
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My oven took a long fucking time to preheat 
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Oh damn that’s good.
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hmmm maybe I should have tried a diaphragm. I think I read there was some potential danger or weirdness when used with an IUD though?
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Very possible since it sits right up against your cervix. Also I think the string would interfere with a tight diaphragm seal (and/but you need spermicidal jelly to seal the gap…)?
According to Google, diaphragms are slightly more effective than male condoms (86 vs 82%) but obv offer no STD protection. I got one but Human didn’t get tested for the longest time so we kept using condoms until I was fine with nust BCP (less terrified of getting pregnant).
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