I feel the frustration too.
We’re talking about going to Joshua Tree next weekend for Swan’s bestie’s birthday. If I don’t test positive in the next few days (currently at 9 DPO), that will fall during what would normally be the “we’re avoiding alcohol to gear up for GOF” phase. It seems HIGHLY unlikely that we (particularly Swan) will want to avoid alcohol entirely on that trip. I mean, of course I’m fine avoiding it if I turn up pregnant this week.
But, otherwise, I’m just kinda like, dude, I have been doing literally everything in my power for basically two years to try to prepare my body to make babies. Next cycle would officially be my last cycle before I enter the time period where, if I manage to get pregnant, I’ll be delaying my psychedelic program for yet another year. AKA, goodbye to good timing.
I am soooo tired of TTC narrowing my view of what is possible for myself in the near-ish future, of having to plan everything in a way that strikes some tolerable balance of “I would just like to live a little” and “will I regret it forever if I don’t do 100% of the things 100% right 100% of the time?”
This shit is hard.
It’s hard for those who have never been pregnant and it’s hard for those who have had only losses and it’s hard for those who have a single living child and it’s hard for those who have multiple children already but this situation is different because they’re with the person they might wish they were with to begin with.
I think we’re all allowed to be frustrated and jealous and envious and grieving and triggered and angry and exhausted and hopeful and dismayed and any combination of the above or of whatever else shows up. I think we’re supposed to feel the fuck out of our feelings, whatever they are, because that’s the only way they blow over.
Right now, I am hella frustrated. And hella grieving. And a tiny modicum of hopeful. And a whole pile of exhausted. I regularly try to practice healthy workarounds for dealing with my own envy that arises. Sometimes I fail. And that’s OK too.
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Oooh, I hope they don’t. That would not be cool. Feeling you on October–that might be my first chance to do a transfer with Plan B (donor embryos). But if you practice in advance, you’ll be a pro with the temps and the OPKs and can really hit the ground running.
I know you’re happy for your friend but those unfortunate timings are No Good. I had to hide lots of people in my FB feed after my loss because all of a sudden everyone was having a baby–and specifically, a third one–but none of them were really close friends. Thinking of you.
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It’s 65/canister which is (you made me look it up 
) actually 90 days, not 60. (Some variability, I went with ovasitol)
The armband wearables were more $$$ and wouldn’t play well with my fitbit (I don’t want to wear two) and didn’t seem as reliable/as much improvement over a pretty good mouth temping habit as the core temp measurement. Also OvuSense had a lot of PCOS friendly info on their site which swayed me. And Google gave me a discount code (spring20). 
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On a different note I didn’t see the post and I know I can’t fathom the depth of frustration of dealing with this for years, but I sincerely hope we can keep this thread a space for everyone thinking about or working on starting a family, and be open to all feelings on that journey.
If someone has concrete steps to accomplish this I can add them to the top post? I’m thinking “All feelings are valid, aim to encourage and support without minimizing anyone’s lived experience.” might be a start?
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As a recent offender… how about something like, you might not be the right audience for every vent and that’s OK, just move on?
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Ok, you may not know what I’m talking about in which case I’ll find the link, BUT this reminded me of Tig Notaro’s “sex with a baby” bit. (Related to a misunderstanding she and her wife had about resuming their sex life after having a kid)
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We’re still plugging away with logistics. Our known donor is in Boston, so I’ve been trying to get a hold of a local sperm bank, where he’d make his deposit and it would get shipped to us. I was finally able to talk to someone on the phone who said she’d send him paperwork + scheduling info. I hope this means we’re a little closer.
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I haven’t seen it but it was also the plot of an episode of Friday Night Lights
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Currently playing the hellish game of “faint line or imagination?” This is what I get for testing at 10 DPO. I DID IT TO MYSELF.
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I am also 10DPO. I thought about testing but woke up too early and didn’t want to, lol. I’m sorry you’re in limbo and I’m holding out hope for you!
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The part that really sucks is that, even if I test positive tomorrow, I now know that I’m not out of the woods yet and, if it turns out that I have the situation they think I might have, the risk is actually still great even in the SECOND trimester, so I’ll have at least 26 weeks of mentally torturing myself instead of the usual 13. Sucks to be waiting on that test too. 
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Is this why I have been so tired this week? CW peestick
Idk what my temp is doing tho
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I think it’s an LH strip?
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Ahhh yep it said LH. I got excited because I saw CD 26 instead of May 26 
Ovulation is still exciting though!
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Definitely still exciting!
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Yes! It’s been over 4 weeks of testing every day! Bout time! (except all bets are off with PCOS)
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Referral to OB/RE went to medical center like 20 miles away instead of the one 8 miles away. Whyyy? You know my address guys.
Also, they called ONCE, left a message (which got buried in spam) and then sent a letter that “we couldn’t reach you” by snail mail on the same day. Like. What?
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