Oh! I didn’t think of this until Elle mentioned OPK sticks. I have a bunch leftover that I am not going to use (will check if they expire) and also a basal body thermometer that I only used with a cover, and also covers. If anyone is interested LMK. (Reminder, I am US-based.) Knowing when I ovulate in advance would only be helpful if our household possessed functional sperm and eggs!
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I’m curious: for folks who are trying to get pregnant the old-fashioned way, do doctors typically recommend genetic counseling? We did, and learned that I’m a carrier for Cystic Fibrosis, which was a total surprise.
Since this is an anonymous forum, I can share that my family is one of those “why not to do 23andme case studies,” as we learned that my dad’s father couldn’t have been his biological parent. The carrier status could have been passed down through my biological grandfather? I hadn’t really thought about missing health info from not knowing who he is until now.
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Tricare suggested carrier screening for my niece… After she was already pregnant, before she miscarried. She’s a cystic fibrosis carrier, which we also found shocking. Interestingly, the genetic counselor at CCRM said we didn’t really need carrier screening because we both come from large families without apparent genetic problems. So… Standards vary! But if your husband isn’t a carrier, you’re fine.
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Very interesting! Sorry to hear about your niece’s miscarriage. My mom is from a big family and there haven’t been issues, so that’s why she thinks it’s from my dad’s side.
Fortunately, since my marriage is a double uterus-haver situation, we have more sperm-related options than the average couple. We’re also looking for an East Asian donor and I know the rate of CF among East Asian people is much lower than it is for white people like me.
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OMG, I’m sorry I put my foot in my mouth. I know better than that! I assume that carrier screening is either standard or available for donors?
I guess my point was that you can know all about your family tree and not know where the CP came from… but on the other hand, we’ve never had 23andMe, so… who knows? Better not poke that hornet’s nest, I guess 
. Niece’s husband is not a carrier so she’s fine on that count. Her loss was a huge bummer and kind of shocking–she’s only 21 and her mother, grandmother and me have 8 live births and only one loss between us, and that was when I had an IUD. One just never knows.
I guess anyone else in the family who is thinking of procreating with their own genes ought to have the screening, but in my family there is only Niece for now as I apparently have old eggs and her brothers are still in school.
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Here I was told that with my age they might do it if I had any problems come up, and other no sperm people I know had it suggested if they were going the ivf route but not for at home impregnation or the cervical one I can’t remember (ICI?)
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Oh, don’t worry for a second! Easy mistake to make 
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Thank you for being nice about it! I know that that assumption that all baby-making couples are a lady and a clueless dude is pervasive and yucky.
I’ve been trying really hard to teach myself to say “pregnant people” instead of “pregnant women.” My success rate is not yet what I would hope, but I keep trying.
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I attempted to do a pre-conception appointment the way that you are “supposed to” now. It was utterly useless. She basically just asked if I smoke and reminded me that you’re not supposed to drink once you get a positive. She seemed utterly baffled when I inquired about genetic testing. Even though I think that’s the official stance now for all preconception couples. When we ended up at IVF though, our first clinic only has your test if you have concerns, the other clinic does it as part of their standard work up. It turns out my husband and I are both carriers for things, but for different things luckily. Actually, I’m a carrier for two things, but I already knew about one of them.
They also sent me for a meeting with an oncological geneticist, but that was because of all the cancer in my family tree, and in particular my mom‘s cancer.
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I’ve not heard of anyone doing genetic testing in Australia before trying for a kid, and I don’t know anyone who’s done it out of interest either though I think the service exists.
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It’s kind of surprising to me that Tricare* would suggest genetic carrier screening when you are already pregnant, so too late to prevent a problem, but not when you go in to get your IUD out and they give you prenatal vitamins.
*For our international friends, Tricare is the health care service for the armed services–Niece is a Navy bride. Alongside Kaiser, it is one of the few things we have that really resembles single-payer healthcare and all the attendant controls.
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Oh yeah I was on Keiser for my pre conception appointment that wasn’t. I figured an HMO would benefit from that, and their literature at the time implied they did. The GP acted like she’d never thought about it though.
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Of course!! And, same here on pregnant people. I have a friend who is a trans dude who carried his kid, and I don’t think I fully realized how gendered so much of getting pregnant was until I talked to him about his experiences.
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Alright, baby planning is moving forward! We had a meeting with our fertility doctor, and I was relieved to hear while my numbers are on the low side of normal for a 33-year-old, he still thinks I could potentially get pregnant through insemination. My wife’s numbers are great for a 32-year-old, so it lines up well with our original plan that I’d get pregnant first and then my wife would carry our second kid.
We’ve talked to two potential sperm donors, and one seems to be a better fit. From here, we’ll ask him to get tested for cystic fibrosis carrier status, STDs, and sperm quality. My plan is to find out where he is exactly (he’s on the road for the next few months ish, although I’m not up to date on his plans) and plan these services through a sperm bank in his area. He’ll donate at a sperm bank, it’ll be quarantined for 1-2 months, and then we can start trying! We’ll figure out the legal side of things at the same time too. If all goes well, we could be starting to try to get pregnant in just a few months.
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If no one else has claimed the sticks & bbt thermometer I’ll take them. I’m in CO.
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Arrrrrgh, I was so happy that there is no wait list at my clinic for donor embryos but apparently they will not bill insurance for ANY of it and they charge $18K for a single try, $9K for the second, and apparently that is way, way more than other people charge.
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Well that’s frustrating.
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Yep. Thank God for the Internet, though. I have a list of like 6 places I can call tomorrow. Not locally,* which is a bummer, but if I can save a boatload of (my mother’s money by flying…
*My local clinic is one of the couple in the US, so maybe they think they can just charge whatever they want?
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That stinks about the cost. It does seem to be a not-uncommon wrinkle in insurance coverage, but still isn’t necessarily typical.
If you want any FB groups to join, let me know. There’s kind of a main one that covers all of the options where people are able to ask questions about others’ different experiences.
Also, it seems that Shady Grove has or will soon have a location in CO. They were one of the ones I looked at for donor embryo that had a multiple tries package. I guess I don’t know about how they handle insurance, since I had no fertility coverage whatsoever.
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