HUGS. Different realities for different bodies. It’s hard to keep that in mind when the world chants one tired line at you!
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And this especially - I’ve done a strict elimination diet that sounds similar to what you’re doing, and it can be a bit of a mindgame to trust the process when all you’re eating is meat, white rice, and for me, exactly 8 green beans 
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Literally me and my several bites of carrots, you get me 
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Absolutely agree with above, do what your body needs. One question, though: can you and/or do you take prenatal vitamins?
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Yes! With an egg quality supplement.
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Then I think you have even less than nothing to worry about 
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Today, I’m like, why do I keep running to the bathroom every hour?
And then I remembered… trollgesterone.
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Ah the trolliest of terones.
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Least favorite hormone!
Hope it’s either good news, and if it’s not, your progesterone levels have the good manners to behave themselves.
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Alright, back with a question for the experts. I’ve spent two years being veryyyyy intentional about all of this without it working out, and am starting to think about, what would be the fastest way to get a baby in my hot little hands, other considerations aside.
Based on my understanding, that would be 1. IVF and 2. IVF that uses the eggs of the partner with the higher AMH and AFC, right? I’m six months older than unnamed wife, so basically the same age (although I am four months away from 35). Starting to think about getting on the RIVF bandwagon (her eggs + me carrying). I don’t think our known donor is the issue, so I wouldn’t switch unless we had a reason to think he was the issue.
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Yes, IVF and best egg quality. Best egg quality would likely be estimated by age (not a factor in your case), AMH, follicle count, and other underlying health conditions like PCOS. PCOS and endometriosis tend to be associated with lower quality. So if those were present in one partner not the other, you might opt for the partner without those conditions.
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Oh good to know about PCOS and endo: I don’t think she has symptoms of either, but I know we’d have to do a ton of testing to move forward, so I’m sure we’d find out. Thanks!
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Connecting some more dots: we’d told our friends she would consider donating eggs once we were farther along with our stuff, so she’ll have to redo her testing at some point anyways. Another advantage is that if we found something flukey now when doing IVF for us, she’d be able to tell them no sooner, which would be a kindness (I think they’re kinda waiting on us). My plan is to take next cycle off, but I could keep doing medicated IUIs while she does the testing.
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I’ve been using TempDrop (thanks @Greyweld) for a few days now, and I know what else I need to do to get my body back into “a year of trying” space, but I literally cannot seem to make myself actually do a single bit of it. So maybe I am taking September off totally (except for timed sex) and then trying for the year after that? I’ll still keep doing the TempDrop, but maybe in October I’ll be more ready for vitamins, smoothies, special tea, cutting out alcohol, etc…I literally cannot even make myself take a multivitamin right now. After over two years of trying, something in me is just super done right now, and I have to honor that for at least a teensy break.
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Amen. I’ve been there. I legit stopped even taking my (much needed) vitamin D for a few MONTHS at one point. It’s so fucking hard. No one should have to do this shit indefinitely. I’m sorry.
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Current mood: purging my house of any baby stuff that isn’t irreplaceable which will either jinx me into getting pregnant or I’ll be glad when I don’t that it’s out of my sight.
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So my period is late, again. I’m on CD 34 and have been brutally emotional all week but not even a ghost of a spot. The last one was early, which I chalked up to post-retrieval wonkiness and the one before that was so late that it pretty much had to be an anovulatory cycle, and I’m just, like, what if this is the beginning of the end, after all? What if my cycles are becoming irregular or skipping cycles because of perimenopause even though I’m only 40 and that usually doesn’t happen till mid-40s? Maybe three back-to-back failed pregnancies at 39 was my shitty ovaries’ desperate last gasp and now, on the cusp of 41, they just have nothing left to give.
My therapist said or maybe my body is just still making sense of itself after two IVF cycles this year but it’s hard not to think she’s just overly optimistic.
There is so much to be so mad about and absolutely nothing to do about any of it.
So I’m just going to sit here with my hormonal “maybe PMS maybe menopause” bitterness and my homemade frozen margarita and sulk even though I’m about to go on a much-awaited two-night vacation. During which I was supposed to already be in the follicular phase, goddammit.
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26 day cycle over here, pretty sure it was a 9 day luteal phase. Ugh. Realized one of my hangups with everything has been the paperwork (the two labs need to share certain methods to transfer embryos, shouldn’t be a problem but requires sending paperwork requests back and forth). So I outsourced that part to SirB. It’s just really been hitting me that Latte is getting like. Older now. Definitely not a baby. We started trying again when she had just turned one; and she’s about to turn 3. A few more months and we would have a 4 year sibling age gap. That’s getting to be a LOT. I need to just suck up my overwhelm on the embryo transfer stuff and move forward with it all.
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Good job recognizing what you need to move forward! I hope it goes smoothly.
Watching those months and years tick by sucks. 
that it won’t be too many more and that you’ll find yourself embracing the advantages of the larger than expected gap. I feel really good about your chances with your embryos but I know the logistical challenges are going to be intense.
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Alright, not my month. We had some travel come up that made us rethink things, so new plan is one more IUI (but without Letrozole so I can be functional on a coming work trip), take October off, and hopefully start IVF in November. Our doctor is generally on top of things so I hope we wouldn’t need more than a month to get things going.
My wife’s insurance updates November 1, so we might even have IVF coverage soon. We’ll talk to the doctor about whose eggs they think would give us a better shot.
Oh, and an edit with some good news! You guys might remember that I was worried about my inflammation levels a few weeks ago? My doctor ordered some bloodwork that checks for inflammation that’s associated with cancer + autoimmune stuff, and my levels were on the low end of normal. Since I have had mysterious health stuff for a long time I’ve worried about what that says about my autoimmune system, so I am taking this as a good sign.
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