omg 
This has killed me.
i’m ded.
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Why you post that and make it so hard to breathe? Don’t know know being rendered breathless is Scary Now?
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My old kitty used to lick all the tub water and would also lick my legs. Apparently this is related to the fact that cats prefer running fresh water – standing water in the wild is usually not safe water, so makes sense – and so they go for tub water, which was clearly running water very recently.
She also used to go for pool water, which was a different level of “ah shit.”
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If I ever don’t know where my cat is, I look in the bathroom because she is usually sitting on the countertop waiting for the faucet to be turned on. She drinks from it multiple times a day.
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What about Dave? Neutral evil? Chaotic neutral?
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He is a non entity. He occupies 0% of my brain space and isn’t part of the household.
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Oh, poor Dave. Is he just really shy?
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He doesn’t like people. At all, ever.
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I NOTICED THIS TITLE CHANGE, SMACKY.
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I CANNOT BELIEVE YOU ARE ACCUSING ME.
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Oh no!! I just noticed it too’
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JE’ACUSE
OUI.
Because I see you in the edits.
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I thought I misread it when I first saw it 
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Damn it. Fine.
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I laughed. Much needed. My 
would be displeased if I tried that.
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