I will try to remember to come back and answer this on a day that isn’t a Bad Fucking Day. Not being ignored.
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+1 for Guess How Much I Love You. I think both rabbits use he/him pronouns and it’s so nice to have not-mom expressing love.
-1 I guess for the Pigeon books, they definitely bring out behavior I don’t like in my kid at bedtime when he’s already likely to be overtired and acting out anyway.
Thank you for including Heckety Peg on your list! I read that a bunch as a kid and forgot about it till now! Need to see if our library has it…
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I like a lot of Graeme Base’s books just for the illustrations–Anamalia (alphabet) and The Water Hole (counting) have been popular with various friends’ kids and there’s interesting things in the illustration for adults if they’re having to reread constantly too. Of those I think only The Water Hole is available as a board book, but I’ve also sent a couple of his from the Little Bug Book series to nephling that they’ve enjoyed.
A couple other ones I’ve given are The Worst Alphabet Book Ever and No Reading Allowed, but those are probably more amusing from the adult side until the kids are a little older.
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I’m sort of obsessed with Oliver Jeffers. Not board books per se, but lovely and moving and appropriate from birth. I’d recommend We are here.
I’m really intrigued by the conversation on books that encourage unpleasant behavior! I mean for sure there are books with messages I’m super not into or ways of thinking that i don’t want us reviewing say in or day out. My example is the Critter books. Meowlet is nuts about them and my mom loves them because they remind her of my brothers, so she shared all the ones she saved just for him. But Critter and the way his family react to him are sort of mean? Not into it. We keep the ones that are acceptable and the others were gifted. I also put away one about Afghanistan where a young girl loses her parents to soldiers that storm her house; I’d like Meowlet to feel safe in his home… Not ready to introduce the idea yet.
That said, i definitely try to leave space for negative emotions in books. kids are going to see crappy or just different behavior anyway. Having a chance to chat about it or role playing fake anger and fear is just part of the process of learning feelings right? In both yourself and othera?
It’s exhausting tho. So exhausting.
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My cat had a freak out tonight and I feel really bad. She saw a cat through the window and started running between windows yelling at it. That has happened before, I’ve seen this cat walking through my yard fairly often. But when I went to close the windows so she wouldn’t attack the screens, I must have gotten too close to her so she started hissing and yowling at me instead, and even jumped at me a few times. It was like I was the evil cat and invaded her home? It’s been 50 minutes, she’s sitting across the room from me and if I even talk softly to her she still hisses or yowls at me. What should I have done or what should I do next time? I know she’s super stressed out and I hate that for her. I’m leaving her alone for now, but pretty soon I’m going to have to walk past her to go to bed and I don’t want to get her riled up again…
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When I upset my cat I can kind of apologize to him with body language and he always forgives me. I usually go into the room he’s in and get on the floor and make kissy sounds, and he looks over and I slow blink, and then he comes closer and I put my finger out for him to smell and I talk sweet and then he usually head butts me. 
It’s super sweet. Maybe some kind of slow “I’m sorry” type of approach like that?
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Maybe not quite yet though… she’s slowly getting closer to me but also yowling as she looks at me or I talk to her. I’m not sure if that means she wants to get closer and be nice or get closer and attack me? It’s weird. I guess I should have left the windows open and just hoped she didn’t rush toward them and maybe she wouldn’t have projected to me being the bad guy?
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Yeah maybe just give her space and let her come to you? 
You didn’t do anything wrong as far as I can tell! Just startled here, maybe. But I know it must feel just awful.
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She moved away again, and is between me and the bedroom, and I need to go to bed. I’m gonna be brave and walk past her! Lol. Maybe I will get her a snack first though… but seriously, I do really feel bad that she’s so stressed, it’s been like 1 hour and 10 minutes.
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Good luck!!! I think my kitty is…not smart enough to hold a grudge in his little head for that long. So at least she’s a smarty? Haha, just trying to find a silver lining. <3
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Would playing with a toy on a string help to reduce her stress?
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This phenomenon is called misdirected aggression but I didn’t know it could last so long. I hope she comes around soon. I’d be nervous about sleeping if she could get in the room with me!
Would it work for you to take a walk around the block? Maybe she’d forget or disconnect you from what happened while you were gone?
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When I went to bed she was hiding under it, so yeah… it was honestly a little nerve-wracking. She had jumped at me a few times and scratched my legs, so she was pretty angry. About 30 minutes after I went to bed she jumped up but then hissed, jumped back down and left so I guess it was good that she knew she didn’t like me at that point. She did come in at 3am and snuggled into my neck and purred like normal. She is normal this morning, so I guess she’s recovered. I felt so bad for her though, it was at least 2 hours of stress for her! Next time I will just stay away from her so it doesn’t happen again.
ETA I spoke too soon. 20 minutes after I wrote this she randomly yowled and hissed at me again. And followed me through the house to keep hissing. I gave her catnip and shut myself in the bathroom so I could get ready for work. I think it helped that she couldn’t see me? This one only lasted about 5 minutes so hopefully we’re done now. And I’m going to work now so she can be alone for a while.
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I totally agree with all of this. At 3.5 my kid has never said she’s afraid or scared of anything in her life, and I really don’t need the subject of fear being introduced*. When we read books like that, I change the wording, or skip over it. If I had a kid with a fear of thunder, I would like to be able to find a book that addresses it, so it’s great that they exist. I just wish they would be clear that that is the focus of the book instead of dumping it in the middle of a story unexpectedly.
*She watches very little tv, so sees hardly anything that way either. (This is not a humblebrag, she just doesn’t really like it and won’t sit in front of it very often. We’re two adults working from home full time with two kids and no childcare - believe me we try. 
)
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Ok this is probably an unnecessary question but let’s rule it out. Is she up to date on her shots? Specifically rabies?
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She went to the vet and got everything this spring. She has never been outside, either. By the time I left she had been into her catnip.
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I hope she is back to normal this afternoon!
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Thanks, me too! It’s been weird for sure.
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A fun food gift I like to give is something slightly fancier than I’d buy for myself for everyday. A fancy bar of chocolate, a small jar of nice jam or honey or maple syrup, schmancy coffee or tea, or a wine bottle-sized bottle of one of those new non-alcoholic bevvies.
For non-food gifts, maybe a bar of soap or pair of cute socks, or a cute lil succulent?
As an on-again, off-again instructor my husband’s favorite gifts were the heartfelt notes & cards!
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Here’s a link to a site that talks about it. It does mention that it could last for days - let’s hope not!
cat-behavior-problems-aggression-redirected | VCA Animal Hospital.
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