I could eat anything post partum, and I did. Which I think is why I remember what I ate pregnant and in labour, and then starting after the baby’s soy issues. But I just ate ate ate.
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I was the same. Once I delivered I just ate normally. My kids had no issues with food while nursing, so I didn’t worry about it. I love spicy food, and they didn’t seem to mind that I was eating it. My husband does the cooking in our family, so we didn’t have any freezer meals prepared before I delivered. I also didn’t seem to eat or drink more with nursing. Just basically normal.
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I ate and drank more than pregnancy because the nausea was gone. Eating normally was a delightful revelation. I maybe snack more? Not sure. My with baby routine is so different that it’s hard to track
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I was a neverending pit of hunger and thirst and extreme crabbiness that all I wanted to do was sleep instead of eating again 
In retrospect, I wasn’t physically hungry/thirsty all the time, especially as I’d gained over 80 pounds so had an ok calorie reserve for the first few weeks, but I was emotionally so not prepared for feeling that at all and therefore didn’t deal with it well.
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I wish I had prepped only allergy friendly freezer meals. Every single thing I prepped ended up having something in it that the baby couldn’t eat (dairy/soy/eggs/corn/wheat). At least my spouse ate well and it still cut down on the food prep that we needed to do.
My parents started dropping off soups and stews on our doorstep and they were a lifesaver. Always hit the spot and felt so nourishing, even when it was hot outside. They usually did a beef stew with a mixture of root veggies, or chicken soup with summer squash/carrots/rice. We froze them in 1gallon ziplock bags laid flat and you can stack quite a few. I also posted some recipes for soups that I made recently on Ferngully’s journal.
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I posted this in my journal but would also like to thank you all here. This discussion reminded me that postpartum bodies need all the food, and breastfeeding bodies still need all the food even months later. I had forgotten and in the chaos that is life with a baby and older kid, was not identifying my own hunger. Now I’m eating what I need to and my mood is so much better, and so is the baby’s. Thanks!
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I was going to post this in the “why are you crying” thread but didn’t want to bring the levity of the thread down too much.
Today I’m crying, not baby, because we’re on day 10 of a nursing strike/bottle preference and it’s completely worn me down. I didn’t realize that breastfeeding would have so many ups and downs…I naively assumed if we got it established then we’d be good to go. (I was always fine with exclusively pumping or formula, I just didn’t think the debate would be continuing 14+ weeks after birth). We’re essentially triple feeding to make sure that she gets enough to eat and my supply doesn’t keep dropping. I’m so tired.
Anyone else been here? Did you make it through to the other side or did you eventually concede defeat?
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Oh my gosh, I’m sorry this is so exhausting right now @sunflower. I’ve had 3 big dips. Breastfeeding was going so well initially and I was also bummed to have to revisit later on.
All the pumping, tracking, washing, charging, and supplements is exhausting – but especially the constant questioning and doubting. For what it’s worth, only 1 of 4 in my lil moms group is EBF smoothly. The other 3 of us are doing a whole smorgasbord of things.
In frustration I booked a virtual lactation appt yesterday and she was very helpful in putting together the puzzle pieces for me. (Can elaborate more if you like but my main problem is diminishing supply so I don’t think it will be relevant.) Her name is Rachel O’Brien and her website is pretty easy to find.
I think I’m going to do 2 weeks of following this plan to see if I can bring my supply back up to 50/50. If it’s sustainable for me mentally, I’ll keep doing the various extras through flu season and then let my body & baby probably naturally wean.
I can’t tell you what it’s like on the other side yet, but here to commiserate.
I think @Bracken_Joy has written about nursing strikes?
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Thanks for the commiseration 
I have pretty good supply but she’s decided that working for a letdown is not a good use of her time and talents (I used to have an oversupply/fast letdown so she didn’t need to do any work until recently when my supply regulated). I am working with a LC who I really like and just sent her a panic text that was like “I’m going to give up, what other tricks do you have before I do that.”
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I’m so sorry you’re going through this! Just like you I naively thought if we got going it would be smooth sailing and was surprised and super frustrated when, after I’d gotten attached to breastfeeding, we had issues. My kid turned out to have silent reflux. he never spit up but started politely refusing to eat much around 12 weeks when they can start choosing instead of just going with the flow and then we didn’t figure that out until we’d been through months of continuing to try.
If I could go back to past self I would give LC the same clear message you hit did faster and I’d ask the LC for help with combo feeding. I didn’t realize that one milk was established, if my supply was okay we could actually sometimes skip pumping when giving formula and that would have saved my sanity. I think if we’d combo fed earlier, the breastfeeding pressure would have been less for us both and we wouldn’t have been so frustrated.
In the end we were both so frustrated we switched to formula around 7 months and it was the best choice. I just wish we’d done more formula sooner and that I’d done less trying harder.
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Yes, Alas 
my child doesn’t actually have an appetite 
like, she eats well as a baseline, but she has no desire to seek out nursing, never has, and frequently strikes. Especially any time my supply is lowered- mild illness for me, around ovulation, and most majorly around my periods. She was also born really large (99%) and “found” her new percentile by 4 months (30%), dropping quickly and terrifying everyone.
Some of the big notes on strikes:
Change when and how you feed. We had the most success by switching to feeds that were essentially all dream feeds. We actually had to go over three months (from 4 to 7 months) where every single time she ate she had to be pretty much completely asleep. This meant going down for naps or just waking up for naps. In a pitch black room, no distractions, white noise blaring.
They also had me drop dairy from my diet, and would have had me drop soy if I was eating it. This was more associated with the weight issues than it was with the feeding strikes, but they correlated. The thought was if she was having any gas pain that would lead to nursing aversions. I was strictly dairy free for like six months. It did seem to stabilize her weight immediately.
They did have me continue pumping regularly, after a feed for full emptying, to make sure my supply stayed adequate. Not that I was at a huge risk since I have a prolactinoma, but it was a better safe than sorry situation. Although it was always fairly annoying because she’s always refused the bottle, so I ended up donating a ton of milk to a neighbor. That was nice though, it made me feel like I was doing something helpful.
Let’s see, what else. There’s a lot of details around trying to get a bottle refuse her to take a bottle, and I can go more into everything we tried on that if you want.
The biggest thing is just to be sure to stick it out for at least 10 days. Feeding strikes generally resolve within two weeks. And around 3 to 4 months is when some people get their first postpartum period, and you’ll see a silent supply dip as part of that. 10 days also tends to cover the amount of time if it’s a tooth coming in or something like that or a minor illness.
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Triple feeding is so, so hard.
I lasted for 9 weeks (From the beginning it was bf/bottle/then pumping a few times a day or bf with a supplemental nursing system). It was brutal and I wish I had stopped earlier. I had very little milk supply though and it sounds like you are starting with a much better base.
I’m hoping the lactation consultant has lots of good advice for you!
One of my good friends was more relaxed about it. She tended to do pumping sessions separately instead of pumping and feeding every time. If baby needed milk and she didn’t have enough, she used the bottle or formula and didn’t stress. I think she had more milk than I did but still, she seemed much more relaxed about the breastfeeding experience than I was. Not saying that is what you should do, but I know for myself I am not going to ask myself to triple feed for weeks on end next time and I will consider other ideas.
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These are very good reasons for crying. I hope you feel better soon. I think pumping takes phenomenal power and I really really want you to know that I see how hard the thing you’re doing is. And if you need it easier, that’s okay
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Oh and thoughts to make pumping more tolerable. Be sure you’re using the correct size nipple shield. (I had to buy an after market ones, the ones that came with mine were way too big). If you’re not lubing the shields, I highly recommend it. I use coconut oil. These two changes made a huge difference. Oh, and of course a hands-free pumping bra if you don’t have one. And a mistake I often see people make, start as low as you can and edge up in till you’re getting milk but it’s still comfortable. It doesn’t need to be on max for it to work, it actually doesn’t work as well that way. Honestly, it helped me to think of it like sex. It’s similar hormones. You don’t want to just go as hard as you can from the very get-go, you kind a need to work your way up.
I also know for kids that are being lazy about the let down, they’ll pump just until they trigger a let down and then switch to breast-feeding. So you could also maybe play with that. Make it an easy win for her.
Wow, so many similar stories! Thanks for all the commiseration and advice.
I think we’re going to meet with the LC in person (this would all be a little easier if we didn’t have to weigh the benefit/risk of seeking optional medical help during a pandemic).
@Bracken_Joy, last week we started nursing right after naps in the dark room, white noise etc. and it helped at first but now she’s back to refusing to nurse for more than a minute or two. Good to know my instincts were right though. She loves the bottle (for better or worse) since even if we try to pace it’s easier than nursing. I’ve been off dairy/soy/corn/eggs/wheat for a couple months now which definitely helped with her weight gain/reflux issues.
@nickybecky1 and @genevievegreene, thanks for the anecdotes about combo feeding and/or switching to formula. Logically I’m totally fine with this and if we don’t turn things around soon, giving myself the space to add in just a little here and there to make life easier sounds like a good first step. Thanks for the reminder it doesn’t have to be all or nothing.
@Elle, thanks Btw I read your money diary and never found the time to comment but I think of you often in the middle of the night and hope that you are getting sleep.
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What nipple size on the bottle? It would be hard to go backward, but if the bottle is way higher flow than your breast, it’ll disincentive “from the tap”.
Eta and have you heard of “paced feeding”? That’s a way to slow the bottle and make it more similar to the breast too, esp if you have lower flow.
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We’re still using slow flow nipples (but they are the same ones that we’ve been using for the last three months and I’ve heard the flow can increase a bit overtime as they get worn down).
Yeah, we are trying to do paced feeding. It’s a fine balance because she has reflux and takes in more air/spits up more if we pace it too much, but at a minimum we take the bottle away and make her wait for a little while every 1/2oz or so.
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It sounds like you’re doing everything “right” then! Some kids are just hard man 
I know that might not help but like. Looking back, I was doing everything I could and that’s just how Latte is. It wasn’t a failure. It was just… part of the process for us. I dunno.
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Don’t worry, we’re all wiped out in different ways. Sleep is still super disrupted, but as the illness fades, he’s getting back to his version of good sleep. I’m hoping for a 3h chunk soon
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I did the thing @Bracken Joy suggested where I pumped to get the letdown response and that helped for Gigi and me too. I would definitely give that a try if you haven’t already.
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