Popping back in to say thanks for the tantrum advice yesterday! Things have been busy so I haven’t had a chance to respond more than this…
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It does! And we’ve both read it and do like to consult it. Without going into too much detail, RLG has some problems that make him forgetful and so things he reads/watches/etc just don’t really stick. Thus, part of my mental marital duties involve reminders like this. He uses tech and reminders efficiently to manage schedules etc, but ‘parenting’ and other sort of undefined reminders about behaviors fall to me. It’s not great, but he tries and I accepted it long ago, so I try to be cheerful about it.
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This is awesome, thank you!
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But even that’s not the easy answer - sil stomps downstairs to complain that we are Too Loud In The Morning on a regular basis…
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Wait…he’s complaining about how you take care of his own child so he can sleep? 
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This is so far from my reality I actually laughed. I’m sorry he’s so ungrateful. That’s fucking insane honestly
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Super wise and helpful, thank you!
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Honestly, while it’s always nice to have people agree that I am oppressed 
I’m really thinking that it’s just hard to
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get the help that is exactly what you want AND
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it’s really, really hard to change anyone’s innate biological rhythm.
We are loud. One of us is 6, and the other one is making breakfast. C’est la vie.
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To quote my mama: “that’s why god invented earplugs”
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@cranky My parents are semi-retiring and moving to my neighborhood this fall (kiddo will still go to daycare). Do you have any advice for us on logistics or relationship or communication, from the perspective of a grandparent participating heavily in care?
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Saturday afternoon we’re going to a memorial for a friend that we lost a year ago spring.
TW about how he died
The friend is not officially dead but he’s almost certainly dead by suicide - he left a note.
He was Mr. Meer’s best man. I think it’s just a gathering at his wife’s house. We’ve taken Kiddo with us before to gatherings of friends where he was the only kid, we take his tablet and he’s played our friends’ video games or watched Samurai Jack while the adults chat. For this Saturday I was thinking of driving separately and after an hour or so I’ll take Kiddo back home.
Does this seem reasonable? I only found out about the date of the memorial on Sunday I think, and only just now started questioning bringing him. Kiddo is also at that delightful “Is he dead? Forever? Why did he die? Did his body stop working” too-loud voice stage. 
Like in another year or two developmentally he’ll understand death but he doesn’t really get it right now.
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Its very loving and thoughtful of you to consider whether its the right place for Kiddo, for everyone involved. it’s something that ill keep in mind, i never thought of it. no real other advice…
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That sounds reasonable to me. I think his wife will appreciate you coming and understand why you can’t stay for long.
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I had to think about this for a while! This is one area where we really haven’t had much conflict, and I think we do all believe that all of us have W’s best interests at the forefront.
I think the Big 3 issues are generally discipline, food, and screen time, and you should think though whether you are likely all on the same page with that stuff and where your absolutes are?
I don’t think any of us are too far apart. I’d do less screen time and more natural consequences, personally, but that works out okay because I can set those boundaries when I’m in charge.
I can see - and have found it surprising- that sil quite values obedience (even though it has been rebranded as “listening”) and they have had some pretty big showdowns, which I personally think are going to get worse over time because I don’t think kids get naturally more obedient over time, but that’s their problem not mine. It’s not something I value, so when I’m in charge, I have plenty of time to wait it out until W is ready to cooperate.
As far as logistics go, we are on the pick up/drop off list for school and camp, and we have a booster seat, so we do a lot of that.
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Thank you! I laughed out loud at the kids not getting more obedient over time part.
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New MLM alert. DotDotSmile are girls’ dresses. Founder is the lularoe founders daughter. 
these sellers are starting to come out of the woodwork. Figured I’d give everyone a heads up.
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If, hypothetically, you were coughing your life out in the hospital next to your five week baby (if he hadn’t come early I’d be being induced maybe)
And you were postpartum as fuck and very fuck you daycare, but had agreed to a two week daycare free cooking off period before deciding, how many months old would you suggest kettling the youngest get before big returns to daycare? 6? 9?
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He’s being monitored with rsv and is miserable but doesn’t need intervention yet
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Pumpkin got sick about 6 months and it was tolerable plus there’s a bunch of vaccines then, so I’d go 6.5m at least. I have no other basis for a decision, but “as late as we can tolerate” is about how we’re deciding daycare for youngest…
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Six months for us also put us at prime flu/cold/RSV season, in case that’s a factor.
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