We had the lay n go (or a knockoff, I can’t remember), but I have to say that a sheet would be much cheaper and probably as effective. I was not super successful at getting mine to keep the legos on the mat, sadly. We used bins, and the IKEA Trofast when he was older and more interested in sorting.
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This might work:
I searched for spikey physio ball. If it’s more a drawing sensation I’ll have to think a bit
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Our OT likes twist ties and old school coffee stir sticks
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Just came across something called an “ouchie cylinder” fidget. Similar to the ball linked but smaller spikes and fits into hand fully. Another option.
Downside: IMO looks more “adult” than the ball does 
but probably less likely to roll across a room. Amazon.com: 4 Pack Little Ouchies Pain Relief for Adults, 3D Printed Keychain Sensory for Stress Relief & Focus, Office Workers Gifts for Men : Clothing, Shoes & Jewelry
Coming in late because I’ve been on “vacation” with my kids lol.
But just wanted to echo that it really sounds like burnout. Maybe instead of thinking you “should” be able to get through this sans help, think of it as a repetitive stress injury that’s been building for the past 6 years.
You’ve mentioned SirB earning gobs of money now, but it sounds like it comes at a cost of high unpredictability. It’s ok to hire babysitters, pay for daycare a couple days a week, etc. Do you also enjoy BJJ, is there a women’s clinic or weekly thing that sounds appealing near you, or even a long weekend retreat where you actually get away from the kids for 1-2 days? And if you feel guilty about having so much, as you’ve mentioned a few times, start looking for ways to donate more (or volunteer but sounds like extra time is not something you have now).
Age 5-6 definitely feels like a different kind of parenting too, so maybe this particular set of ages is hard right now. My older kid is / is expected to be really patient with the toddler. Solo time with him every month or so helps us a lot. I’ll pick him up even an hour early from preschool, go to a bookstore, take the bus around, etc. Or I’ll take toddler with me for an outing (he’s really into gross motor these days) on the weekends while older kid gardens and grocery shops with his dad. I think an important part is that he gets to choose the plan (between 2-3 options).
Also, as my spouse has become more senior in his (also consulting/site visit-requires) role he’s been able to tweak company policies or his own work a bit more, mostly in small ways but they do add up. Is it possible to flex some of his cred with the new company to redraw territories, tweak the oncall rotation, etc.
You’ve shown over and over that you’re SO committed and loving. Hope you can find some ways to reset in ways that feel right to you and your family.
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The other day I saw a video of a big rigid tray on wheels that slid under a crib. No sorting required. It does require beds that are off the floor, which is not yet a thing in my house.
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Thank you everyone! Some really lovely ideas! I think I need to get inside B1’s head more to figure out the block
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Ok, a question where I know this group will excel. I am in a short period of time when I have to take my two year old on daily walks with my reactive dog (usually I walk the dog by himself).
What are your strategies for getting an uncooperative toddler into a stroller? Sticking points are bundling up to go outside and getting into the stroller. Things I have tried with very limited success: making it sound really fun, giving options (eg picking a sweater), giving more independence (climbing into the stroller), bribing with high value treats.
Once we’re outside, toddler is happy.
Assume that toddler has to be in a stroller, the walks have to happen to make living with the dog bearable, and this is for times when enlisting another adult isn’t an option.
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Honestly, it sounds like you’re doing most things and this is just a struggle period/point. Other items could be reverse psychology (I’m going to turn around and when I look back you’d better not be in MY stroller), or monster stuff (stroller is big hungry dragon, I will feed it my toddler hahahaGROWL). I also had this vision of fake dog on fake leash that toddler gets to bring, so that you two responsible pet owners are walking your dogs together? But Idk dude, sometimes toddlers are just going to be little fuckers.
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Jacket backwards and use your arms and legs to finagle into the jacket. Bribe for getting in the stroller. We use tic tacs or animated songs (howdytoons)for getting car seat belts done up now. A friend in college gave her 3yo kid a lollipop for leaving the house every single day for a year.
Survival.
Sometimes inside out clothes are preferred to right side out.
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Pajamas are also always fine for toddlers. Jacket or whatever weather needed gear goes over pajamas, but if the pajamas are still visible it’s fine. And cute.
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These are great ideas, thank you internet friends!
Great clarification, the goal I’m shooting for is toddler is appropriately dressed for outside weather, not in a fancy outfit.
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Wrangle toddler into stroller first and then tuck blankets around/add hats after toddler is already buckled in?
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Ok the bundling not being an option reminded me of something else I tried that is so funny to me. I love (“love”) internet commenters who say things like, you need to just set expectations with your toddler about appropriate behavior and tell them what to do, and they’ll do it. I have explained to my toddler why we have to go for a walk and it’s benefits, and why it’s not optional, and tragically that has not worked either.
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I don’t want to make myself sound better than I am, I have definitely done this! There is a lot of screaming and physical force involved. I also had to use watch Elmo on my phone to get him outside yesteday, which I know is also not ideal.
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Literally had a mental breakdown last year when they kept suggesting I talk to B1 and tell him hands are not for hitting.
Also I know another friend who duck taped mittens on and I have not ruled it out, but last year I just used men’s wool socks that went all the way to B2’s armpits as sock mittens and somehow that was more accepted than actual mittens which are apparently only for indoor use
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My toddler is younger than yours and presumably doesn’t have as much capacity for physical force, but I’m constantly wondering how it is that they develop so much physical ability long before any impulse control, reasoning ability, or awareness of the consequences of their actions. It would be great if they would just listen to reason, but alas.
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See also: teenagers
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One of the biggest successes for us is choosing an exciting destination! I’m guessing no park or stopping but this time of year is incredible because people decorate their houses for Halloween and the holidays!
Our destinations:
- if timing is right we walk past the school to try and see school busses
- The house with three huggeeeee skeletons!
- diggers (there is lots of construction always). This one is sad if you go and they are all done. In which case we get away with “diggers are sleeping, they went home to their house”
- Flowers (might be tough with this time of year)
- The dog that barks
- The grape vine
- If it’s trash day trying to find trash trucks
Sometimes it’s just a fight, and those days are hard. If he won’t put his jacket on I might just bring it and wait for him to tell me he is cold (which he will). Unless it’s a really long walk or a really cold day I would imagine the range of safe clothes is pretty broad, just bring backups!
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I bought a wagon so I can slam dunk him into it and not worry about trying to strap in an angry floppy fish anymore (yes he does try to climb out no I haven’t figured that problem out yet)
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