I recently made a friend who gets pretty excited about things. Favorite movies and snacks, planned projects, trips. Seeing that made me realize that I…don’t, really. I definitely endorse and enjoy simple pleasures…but stop just short of excitement for them.
I’m not sure how much of it is just growing up (e.g. harder to be excited about vacation when it’s so much work to plan, pack, things can go wrong…), or if excitement is too close to anxiety and lost its appeal in grad school, or if the stress got me so used to existing mentally anywhere but the present, and despairing at the passage of time instead of celebrating it.
But I want to reclaim my joy, simple or grand as the cause may be. Watching a movie without analyzing the socioeconomic role of the studio or franchise in society. Partaking in seasonal events or foods without feeling a little silly or juvenile about it. Savoring and registering moments of elation, without mentally asking permission.
Yesterday, I thought about this and got caramel apple popcorn at Target. I don’t relish pumpkin spice, but I love caramel. And caramel corn. And that isht is delicious, lemme tell ya. Also fleeting. Savor before it’s gone, replaced with candycanes!
Today, I savored the tail end of a sunset, and bf’s warmth when he hugged me hello.
What helps you be present and savor the moment? Who else has trouble with it?