Pregnancy is weird

There’s a reason I didn’t post my cheapie photos :joy: not nearly as cool looking. But I figure if I’m spending a ton on a transfer (not to mention the cost of CREATING these) I can afford a 5 pack of fancies.


Hellll to the yes!!!

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Now that I’ve gotten past a new milestone (10 weeks! A good second ultrasound! An ultrasound that I can recognize as somewhat human shaped! Wild!) my brain is hyperfocusing on my registry and ITS ACTUALLY VERY STRESSFUL AND I WOULD LIKE IT TO STOP.

I know I could retool my registry for the next six months straight and it would make very little difference to the life of the baby.

Ultimately, all we need for day 1 is a safe method of transportation home, a safe place to sleep, a safe and sufficient way to eat, appropriate for the weather and indoor environment clothing, and a small kit for fever and health stuff. My mom and or MIL and or a friend could get these bought, installed and prepped in an hour flat if I called on them so I REALLY JUST NEED TO CHILL.

The time I spent comparing pack n play A vs B is not gonna make or break anything. If I put no books on the registry we have an excellent library. If I put no clothing on the registry I can probably get a bunch from buy nothing or give whoever wants to a couple hundred dollars to go on a baby clothes shopping spree for me. Whatever breast pump is fully covered by insurance probably is fine.

Any advice on redirecting obsessive preparation brain? This isn’t new for me with baby I’m an INSUFFERABLE over planner. You should have seen my sheafs of potential high school course sequence plans I drew up in eighth grade. Or my college ones for multiple prospective colleges in 11th and 12th. Or the spreadsheets for planning five years of spending while trying to pay off our house and cars.


One option is to pick something to direct the obsession towards, IF you can pick something healthy-ish for you. My BFF directed her energy towards cloth nappies, to the point that she designed her own and set up a small hobby business making them.

Otherwise, can you redirect to a non-baby hobby?

I found this hard and dont have any definitely good ideas I’m just throwing some out here.


What about if you don’t make YOUR registry. Maybe make like 5-10 registries

Single mom no money
Broke parents one side of the fam is middle class, the rest has no money
Middle class dual income crunchy
Middle class dual income work in technconcerned about data
The one person on earth who likes v tech
Unlimited money zero waste
Bling Empire


I laughed out loud. Thank you.


I’m so excited for you! I’m sorry about the registry stress. It’s easy to know in your head that you don’t need much, but harder to be realistic when faced with prepping for the unknown. I don’t have any advice except maybe focus on what you can do right now to live your current life to the fullest. Don’t engage with registry content for a bit until maybe the brain weasels have calmed down. Or are at least more tired :joy:


In other pregnancy brain weasels I have been absolutely melting down about work and my general lack of care and lack of ability to do it.

To some degree I think this is first tri exhaustion and hormones and I should just stick it out and see how I feel in tri 2 and to another I’m like “well this is what I get for going into the exact field I vowed I would never return to.”


For what it’s worth, I have felt this way through both of my first trimesters, and I have a job that I mostly enjoy the rest of the time.


Awesome news! Maybe your second two week wait pass quickly :sweat_smile:.

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Right?! Endless 2 week waits.

Still not much for symptoms beyond sleeping on the couch whenever I try to sit down and watch tv. But that’s also not like, super beyond normal :sweat_smile:


One day at a time. I suspect white knuckling thru work during the first tri is…extremely normal


If you are working, you are doing alright as far as I’m concerned. If my standards are too low then I think theyre exactly right. You’re just doing this job for money and routine and healthcare, yeah? If its giving you those still, youre golden


I’m really confused about caffeine, I didn’t look into it much last pregnancy because coffee grossed me out. But this pregnancy, it’s still good and I vaguely read you can drink like a cup a day.

Well I googled it and it said the same but then every study link below said “no caffeine is safe!!!”

I know ultimately it’s up to my own discretion but ???


Maybe new studies have come out since I last looked, but the only evidence I’ve ever seen is that above three or 5 cups a day or something like that, there was an increased incidence of miscarriage. But the problem is that it didn’t adequately control for variables like, who feels like they need 3 to 5 cups of coffee, a day? Graveyard shift workers, which we know is correlated with loss. Or people who have no food aversions, and morning sickness is correlated with higher incidences of live birth, so the point is it just seems pretty impossible to tease out factors. I think acog recommends no more than 200 mg of caffeine a day? Which is 2 6 ounce cups. Which is stupid who does 6 oz cups :joy: my mug is 12oz so I guess I drink the top of the range every day right now, and did with the second half of my pregnancy with Latte as well :woman_shrugging: (I had dropped caffeine in prep for IVF3 before conceiving her).


Ok yes this makes sense! The other thing I saw was that there was a height difference of less than an inch once kids are older, which now that I’m thinking about it, I have no clue how that could be attributed to caffeine now that I’m thinking about it?

And less than an inch seems kind of irrelevant?

My kids likely won’t be as tall as me because I have a very average height husband, he is the real risk factor there lol.

Thank you for helping me think about this a little more past just the google link titles scaring me, ha!


Is that with pregnancy? I’ve heard stunted growth with kids directly consuming caffeine but I thought that was debunked (although there are other reasons for little kids not to have energy drinks lol). The only mechanism I could think of is that they think maybe lots of caffeine can cause preterm birth (and again, who is drinking lots of coffee in pregnancy… lifestyles at higher risk of preterm birth with economic, work profile, getting care in pregnancy or not, etc) and maybe preterm birth is associated with shorter adult height?? I’ve never heard pregnancy coffee = short kids though, is there a paper on that or something?


I saw that paper come out, but they didn’t control for paternal height!


This is what I saw!

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That seems like a big oversight lol. While the study size was decent, you definitely don’t want to assume there’s not bad data there.

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