Ugh…same. Spouse was going to take 3 months to care for the baby Jan-Mar and then I was going to add on my extra 8 weeks of CA leave after that so we would be able to get through May (baby will hopefully be 7 months by then) without needing care. BUT, spouse just accepted a new job and will not be able to take that much time all at once, it will only be in 2-week chunks so I’m planning to take the 8 weeks right after FMLA and some extra vacation days which will only get us through the end of Feb.
I’m pretty sure I’m not cut out to be a full time parent and I’m not sure I could get freelance work up and running without some reliable part-time care help so I’m stressing about this as well.
I own my own businesses and I found it to be pretty easy to work in the first few months because of how much they sleep. The caveat being that you have to be able to work in short bursts and bonus if you can do any of it on your phone (I do social media consulting/blogs/etc). I also exclusively breastfed so there was a loooooot of time just spent nursing and once I got a workflow set up in my phone I was able to get things done then as well.
We had a mamaroo and once we got into a routine where I could put her in there for a nap while I worked on my laptop that was great. It got harder when she started to crawl and be less of a flower pot but still manageable. I’m finding right now with her being 20mo it’s nearly impossible to work without help outside of nap times (which are unpredictable these days).
All of this also depends on your baby as well, Bobbin was not a good napper at first and I had to just roll with it and get stuff done whenever she decided to sleep but once we got naps figured out it was a good routine for a while. I had more time to do things in the first year or so of her life than I thought once I was able to plan around sleep.
I’m full time at home with her but I own two businesses (and did before she was born), so I just wanted to lend a voice to say it’s not impossible to freelance and SAHP. The key is extreme flexibility.
Yeah it really is counterintuitive. Now she is climbing EVERYTHING and can make her opinions known. Opinions that include her disdain for anything that is not “reading the same 4 books nonstop all day” and “pull out mom’s hair tie 500 times”. Back in the day she liked to sit and play with her toes, it was simpler times.
Talking to other parents, independent play seemed to vary a lot amongst the kids, generally around the 2 year old point, but once they got there we all got a lull in attention needs for several months.
Right now it’s probably equally a living situation problem as it is her attention needs in my case. In less than 2 weeks I won’t have a kitchen/dining room/living room/office that is all the same room full of stuff that she can’t touch which will mean that I can focus on my work for 5 minutes while she runs around and I won’t have to stop her from getting into something she’s not supposed to have every 5 seconds.
I wanted obnoxiously salty so after whining to myself from the couch I ate a soy marinated egg and a spoonful of its marinade, then made a seltzer with lime juice, honey, and half teaspoon of salt. Hello, my name is marmot.
Boobs, so weird. Does it help to just say the word boobs out loud and then giggle?
Even though I don’t feel terrible physically (yet?) the three months left to go feels like FOREVER. Maybe it’s made worse by pandemic time warping?
I was up around 4am per my usual nightly schedule. Was debating getting up to pee and then going back to sleep which I do most nights, when an earthquake hit at 4:20. Not too strong and I’ve lived here most of my life so they don’t usually bother me but apparently it was enough excitement that I never got back to sleep. Boo.
@elle Brilliant, I have a 5lb tub of Indian style yogurt and the salt cravings haven’t gone away so really your suggestion is timeless.
Apparently I was hungry enough for an entire packet of ramen and was able to sleep after that. For the next couple days, instead of “am I hungry? then eat” I’m gonna switch to “am I not full? then try eating.”
For the pregnancy alums around here, has anyone found specialized pillows to be helpful? I didn’t need them earlier but now that the stomach is bigger and reflux still isn’t going away, I’m wondering if going bananas on the pillow front would help with falling asleep & staying asleep.
I definitely think a body pillow would be great. We lack sufficient pillows for the fortress I need at the moment so I’ll probably be buying a larger pillow and some extra normal ones.
I didn’t have a pregnancy pillow but if I get a next time I will probably try to find one. Since H’s whole profession is basically about posture he was stuffing me into bed with every pillow in the house to make sure my back & belly were properly supported, then if I needed to roll over everything would shift and it was annoying. Having one pillow instead of the many I was using would have been easier.
But I also already sleep with 2 pillows under my head and one long body pillow that I cuddle even when not pregnant. The difference for me was that I needed a long pillow behind me so I could lay 3/4 on my back, which ended up being my preferred way to sleep while heavily pregnant.
I used an extra pillow, ate 2 dinners, we dragged a mattress topper to the first floor where the AC works much better, and I slept the whole night!! One bad night at a time is manageable but 3 in a row was turning me into a zombie. Might keep doing this for the remainder of the heat wave.
I bought a cheap U shaped one…well, cheap so more squared off than U, by week 16. Someone enterprising could probably go back in time and found what week I bought it. It is a deep love of mine. I had to add extra pillows at times, but it gave me the leaning back pillow, the supporting forward pillow, the leg pillow and one head pillow in one easy shape. @Cereal and @dahlia and others may have seen it in October. I rode in a tiny hatchback with 5 people and I wore my damn pillow for two hours bringing it with me because I love it so much. If I get pregnant again it is coming out of the basement the second I pee purple dye.