I really appreciate this. All of the words help paint a picture of the complexities and thoughtfulness you put into your plans. I promise I won’t take anything too literally but it is so, so helpful to just hear more stories.
A few years ago my social circle was also pretty much 100% committed to the sport. We would literally spend 4-5 days a week with the same people training, competing, and travelling. A lot of people (including myself) switched disciplines/specializations though, so now our community is more like a broader root system than a strict tribe. A handful of closest friends were also some of the earliest to know, but after that it’s less clear-cut.
We do have plenty of parents (including birthing mothers) around, but most of them are boomerangs who came back after kids reached school age, and only a few of them stay quite as intensely involved or competing. My sister-in-law did keep competing for ~3 years after their kid was born until injuries forced her out; they had a few good friends (including me) willing to babysit at competitions. So it’s really helpful to hear your thought process on this.
My current plan is to keep doing the admin roles, which like you said should be good for staying connected. For myself I’d like to try to carve out some time to practice (which I absolutely love) but play it by ear on competition. I’m probably obsessing about this too much, and just need to have a few concrete transition plans, leaving the rest open to evolving pandemic/infant circumstances!
I’m using an app called Preglife to track calendars and read a few timely notes every week. It also has animated videos of what’s going on in utero each week.
100% of the fetus videos are creepy as hell. As my husband says, “they don’t have to be cute til they’re born.”
I have only the hint of nausea so far, (and it’s mostly correlated with stress) but when brushing my teeth I discovered my gag reflex has moved forward in my mouth
They’re fine now (week 21), but were terrible for a while in the first trimester. For a couple weeks, I had to take allergy pills to breathe well enough to fall asleep.
Any chance people here know how much L&D typically costs at a hospital?
I’m in the sucky situation of having to switch insurance plans mid-year and trying to decide between two different PPO plans with different deductibles/co-insurance. Which plan makes the most sense depends a lot of how much the total costs are.
@sunflower I haven’t been through the full cycle but also had to choose a new insurance plan last month. In the US a typical L&D seems to vary a lot by state. There also seems to be a ~40% jump for c-sections.
I used the average of this CBS article (which lists sticker price) and this article (which lists typical negotiated price — ie what your insurer gets the hospital to agree to, usually a LOT less) to calculate likely costs. Wound up at an estimate of $14k for sticker price.
Not with L&D but with other medical procedures I’ve had decent results with calling the billing department (get the codes from your provider beforehand) and asking for a ballpark number. The cost is fucking stupid for birth in this country though and infuriates me.
Do either of the insurance plans offer a flat fee/copay for pregnancy and childbirth? With my plan (Kaiser, so it’s an HMO - I don’t know if PPOs do the same thing or not) all regular prenatal appointments are free and there is a flat fee for childbirth. $750 copay for a vaginal birth or $950 copay for a cesarian. That includes all of the doctors, medicine used, time in the hospital before/after, everything. With my daughter I had to see MFM after 20 weeks so each of those visits had the specialist co-pay, but the regular visits didn’t have one and I squeaked through with a vaginal delivery so I only paid $750 for the birth.
Mine was billed out, all told, at nearly $50k. 3 days of labor, 4 epidurals, emergency c section, 5 days in maternal advanced care. Added up lol. Needless to say I hit my deductible
Flip side, a friend had a flat $500 fee due for her birth before delivery, and it was $450 because she paid cash.
I have no knowledge of US healthcare but I made it over some kind of tipping point hormonally yesterday and I’m so, so sick even on medication and need to up my dosage. I hate hyperemesis. Also hate general nausea. At least I can nibble on things right now. This is just a big whinge. Haaaate.
I wish I could help your hyperemesis and nausea from afar. That sounds awful.
A few days ago I passed a river where adult ducks were shepherding their flock of a dozen ducklings. They were absolutely adorable and hopefully your Duckling #2 will be too and you can have amnesia and forget about how terrible the pregnancy felt.
