Thank you dearie. I knew I could count on you, elbow squeeze.
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Oh wow. This is disappointing. You’ve been a “strong” contestant.
Who knows, we may see you again as a guest judge.
Looks like we’re losing two contestants this round. Things are really heating up in the OMD Top Iron Masterchef kitchen!
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Last time a contestant quit and the elimination was cancelled. Why not this time? Is brute less of a valued competitor than I was?
That makes sense.
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The previous contestant quit BEFORE the Eliminationing had started. Wheels are in motion.
Also, if we don’t start culling some of you bloody contestants then this thing will go on for bloody ever.
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cough cough speed round cough cough
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If I am camping during the speed round, I authorize basically anyone to impersonate me
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No no, the speed round is the Eliminationing! that is currently supposed to be happening. But I dunno…at this rate both might get eliminated for tardiness.
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I have to say, I love the games, but I don’t miss the stress of running a reality show from under a napping child
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I think its important to remember that none of this matters, there is no prize and you’re all absolute clowns.
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I’m personally using the experience to really get inside a ducks point of view in the hope that I can work out how to get rid of the snails from my vegetables.
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I said I wasn’t available until after Thursday and @Greyweld is getting kittens which is Important. AND you did not give a deadline, and in fact said it was not a speed-of-response but a recipe-cooking-time speed challenge. Self-consistency, please, @PDM. 
That said.
I’d like to resurrect a family recipe. In a crisis situation, the most important thing is that food ends up in kid. That means bread and cheese.
Cheese toast variety.
6 small/square slices of bread (or 3 large)
(white because grilled cheese doesn’t work for grilled cheese products)
6 slices of cheese (let’s say mild cheddar)
1 slice ham
2 slices tomato
Fruit/veg side (apple, carrot, pepper, tomato)
Preheat toaster oven to 400F.
Lay out bread slices on rack.
Top 2 slices with tomato and 2 slices with ham (1 ham slice covers 2 small breads).
Top all 6 slices with cheese.
Bake until cheese is melty, like 5 min. Cool 1-2 min.
While toasts are baking cut apple slices, carrot sticks, pepper slices. And the remaining tomato. (Or whatever veg/fruit you have your kid sometimes eats. Honest my sisters and I would always eat these if prepped, but YMMV.)
Maybe cut toasts in halves or quarters if ambitious.
Let kiddo choose which, if any, toasts and fruit/veg they want.
Adult(s) finish their leftovers with a healthy glass of vino and maybe Secret Chips after bedtime.
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Antagonising a judge. Bold play. Let’s see how it works out for you.
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I call it “standing up for contestant rights” but you do you.
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Aw man I got here slow and I missed my chance at a toasted bread thing! Definitely gonna get called out if I accidentally copy again 
So instead, get ready for my ‘everything you like on a stick and some vegetables snuck in’ meal!
Stick a hotdog in the microwave, 30 seconds. While that’s in I cut a slice of bread into nine equal sections and a zucchini into eight thin rounds. Grab a block of cheddar from the fridge and cut eight square slices - we don’t want cubes, that’s too much cheese and will upset MY little tummy as well! Take the hotdog out of the microwave and cut that into eight pieces too.
Now we put the slices onto kid-safe skewers. They are brightly colored and fun! I ordered mine bread-hotdog-zucchini-cheese, repeat 8x, finish off with the last square of bread.
Finally I like to mix up a ketchup and mayo dip that the kid is welcome to use if they want or to ignore if not.
Did I just make a more complicated hot dog on a bun? Perhaps! But it is assembled in such a way that is more fun to eat, parts that are really disliked can be set (or violently tossed) aside after they are picked off, and the sauce can be ignored if the kids don’t like it rather than having it all have soaked into the bun!
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Honest question do you actually eat raw zucchini regularly? Like I guess there’s nothing wrong with it but it exists in my head as “veg that must/should be cooked at least a little” like most squashes, green beans, beets, potatoes… And mushrooms although I have learned that champignon/white button mushrooms are fine raw but it’s still weird to me.
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I’m not sure you have any? I’m picturing this as a Willy Wonker type scenario where numerous children meet untimely ends in different ways. You’re a Veruca Salt.
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Only the ones we stand up for.
@Meowkins please collect your co-host they’re being rude. That’s a joke.
But like for serious and in the spirit of feedback @PDM , not fun and uncool power trip, dude. If you’re going to flex over this I’m gonna ask all my fellow contestants if this is really something they wanna be a part of, if it’s not about fun jokey food show recipe evaluations. Cause frankly I wouldn’t if it’s more about stoking your ego than creativity and fun.
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I do but only as thin slices or little sticks with like hummus or in a salad or something.
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Hm, that’s what I do with turnip. Thanks. I was just curious.
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Ahem, Er, okay, well…
THANK YOU, CHEFS, FOR YOUR LOVELY DISHES! The judges will go back to deliberate and return shortly to give you our final verdict.
Note: Please rest assured that all judges are deeply aware of their powerlessness in all things and will be taking a refresher course in existential despair during this commercial break.
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