My top surgery/radical reduction

was about to reply exactly this, so +1

Ok!
Silicone strips and compression vest came in the mail. The vest is made for amab bodies, so it’s painfully tight in the hips/waist but perfect for the chest. My plan is to zip it and then flip it up so it’s only on my chest vs return it (Ali express, it would taken 9 years to return).

This weekend I’ll acquire the buckets and attachments to make 5gal feeder & waterer for the chickies.

This weekend I’m going to weed the driveway of a nice trans woman I half know who is recovering from her own surgery (she’s toward the end of her recovery) but will be able to help me with my recovery. I’m so glad she asked for help because then I won’t have the guilt if I end up needing her help – I have an overwhelming sense of things needing to be fair and just

lol me needed a kids science article to understand.
I mean I understand leverage as a concept but it’s hard to gauge how it will feel better or easier.

I did this too!!

Yay community!!

I am finally typing at a keyboard and not a phone! BEHOLD. I AM VERBOSE.

A couple of thoughts! In no order!

1. Radical reduction

Are you 100% on the same page with your surgeon about your goals and the outcome you’re looking for?
I say this not to sow doubt, but because I wasn’t. I got a “radical reduction” in 2020 and was not happy with the outcome. I ended up getting a second surgery in 2022 with a different surgeon and went full top surgery about it.
But I did not feel heard by my first surgeon, and I think if you’re on the same page with yours, know what you want, and your surgeon has experience in gender care, then that’s different! Mine was a specialist in REDUCTIONS and felt like he did a good job and brushed me off several times after when I expressed concern and disappointment. I felt like I still had breasts. So much so that I went through with it a second time. The reduction surgeon and I had different interpretations of what a good surgery outcome was (besides good health! Which is always ideal haha).

2. Healing!

Everyone’s body is different, but I anticipate you’ll heal faster than you think. Scars will take a while to fade (years!) and incisions need care and time and patience to heal before they even become scars. But if you have an uncomplicated surgery and no side effects (I.e. hematoma etc.) I think you’ll be more functional than you expect. It’s good to plan for the less functional possibilities though! I applaud you.
I could have returned to a desk job after about 3-4 weeks. They want you to keep your heart rate down for a couple of weeks to reduce risks of complications, but after your restrictions are gone, you’re pretty much cleared to do whatever feels okay to do.
In my experience there was confusing and conflicting information and opinions on whether or not to restrict raising arms above head for X months. Some places online said to, others said it didn’t matter. Follow what your particular surgeon says, but some of the restrictions people write about online are for scar reduction purposes, not health purposes. And if that doesn’t matter to you (it didn’t to me lol) then who cares.
If scars DO matter, once your incisions are closed up and healed, there’s silicone ??? tape??? you can put on them to help reduce the scar tissue. Or something. I ignored this because it was not something I really cared about, But it’s okay to care.

3. It’s scary but it’s going to be okay.

Next year you’ll find yourself forgetting the surgery even happened. And that’s gonna be amazing.

Questions for you!

1. Are you doing this through insurance? Do you have what you need all squared away? (Did you need a letter of approval from a therapist? Or not, because it’s a “reduction” rather than “gender care” ? Prior authorization?)

2. Any other questions for someone whose been through it twice?

Takeaways I remember:

SHOWERING
In both cases, I had to wait until the drains were removed to shower.

First surgery (kept the nips, they were just resized) I was able to shower I think 3 days after surgery? I got my drains pulled on day 3 and showered that night. It was psychologically helpful to know Partner was on the same level as me if I got lightheaded, but I was fine.

Second surgery (“free graft” nips so they were re-adhered to the dermis and covered in a set of bolsters sutured on) I had to wait a whole week. No clue if it was the loss of the major vascular structure of the nips or what, but I had the drains in for a solid week and was DYING for a shower by the time I got them pulled. There were additional constraints on showering because of the bolsters (which stayed on longer) and so it was very gentle “back facing shower” type of experience. But it felt amazing.
The week leading up to the First Shower baby wipes were my friend.

THE FIRST FEW DAYS

You’re gonna be a lump.

Just lean into it. Be a happy lump. Get some nice things to listen to or watch or read. Or just chill out and day dream.
Be a lump.

But do get up and walk around when you’re able to. It’s good to get the blood moving.

Hydration is important! Have several big water bottles near and ready for you. I had Partner on snack duty for days 1-2 and by day 3 was more self sufficient.

After the first surgery I wandered down stairs at midnight or something, wanting a drink of water. It was stupid. I got lightheaded and had to sit on the floor while Partner was like… “Buddy… why???” but it was fine. Be aware that between pain meds and coming off anathesia you’re not gonna be the most With It and be nice to yourself if you do end up doing something not very wise.

MEDS

Make a little meds chart! It was helpful for me to check off what time I had tylenol, etc. as my sense of time was Destroyed those first few days. And it’s especially helpful to have someone else be in charge of that chart the first day or two.

ICE VERSUS NO ICE

If you keep your nips and have a reduction style surgery, you’ll probably be cleared to use ice!! DO IT. Ice is awesome.

If you don’t keep your nips I have no idea what happens. Probably ice??

If you keep your nips but have them “free grafted” you will not be able to use ice.

Thank you so much for looking out. I am sure. I’m going to a top surgery specific surgeon and working with the gender team and it’s being billed as a top surgery, I’m just using the terms somewhat interchangeably because I am technically leaving a little meat on there. I feel good so far, and am starting some of my pre appointments as early as next week. I’ll back out if it ever feel we’re not on the same page.
Picture two here is very similar to the other reference photos we have discussed (I’m not comfy sharing the other ones here bc they are basically from ppl on reddit who gave me permission to use them as reference with my doctor, but not like to paint them all over the internet, ya know?). I don’t actually get to meet the surgeon until a few weeks out, but I’ve met the rest of the team, done the pics, and looked through his whole portfolio as well as scraped the internet for reviews. He’s one of the two highest recommended for top surgery in my state, and the only of the two that my insurance covers. I do not have the funds or ability to travel out of state.

^ This makes me neeeervous. I have two weeks off, and then I’m returning to the office job. But they’ve given me a bed/chair desk and a mini external laptop monitor. I think I will be ok? Also, I have to be, I need moneyyyyyyy lol

Yes, this. I do care about scar healing both in terms of aesthetic, but also in terms of sensory. Those little dips and textures scars can get? A bit of a sensory nightmare to me. I’ll likely have my arms below my head until autumn

Yes, I am. I did require a letter of approval from a therapist since it’s gender care (again, I’ve just been using the terms interchangeably due to the remaining few ounces of meat I’d like left on my body, lol. I’ve received prior auth. I still don’t FULLY understand how much it’s going to cost, but I do know that we’ve reviewed the estimate line item and checked them as assumed codes, and thus far everything is covered. What “covered” means to my wallet is an actual bit of a mystery to me, but I think I mentioned before that I believe it’ll be about 3k, which is not chump change to me. Trying not to stress about it.

YES. I have my nurse Q&A visit on Monday morning. It’s basically an hour for me to ask as many/all the questions I want. But I sort of feel like I have most of the answers to the main questions I’ve had. Any suggestions about what should I ask him?

Yes, this!
I don’t want anyone to need to help me or see me in the shower. This privacy is super important to me. So my plan is to use the wipes I just bought (medical shower replacement type wipes) until it’s ok to take a face-away shower, and to take that shower sitting on a shower chair. My shower can be a little slippery, and I don’t want to risk the pain of throwing my arms out to catch myself. I’m also going to snag some dry shampoo next time I’m at the store, but with my hair type I only wash my hair 3-4x/month anyways, so I’m probably ok.

Excellent! I’m big on hydration currently and hoping I don’t slack off. I just purchased about 100 little generic liquid iv packets, and I have a water bottle that I have a weird emotional attachment to that will be by my side I also just got a big honkin stanley bottle thing mailed to me- apparently, the NHL team I managed partnerships with the last few seasons for work mailed me a bunch f gifts over the the holidays. We’re moving headquarters offices and I never go there - our office manager got in touch with me this week and was basically like “What is all this shit for you in the mail room? It’s like two years worth of crap- can I mail this to you??” I have an extra freezer I plan to plug in and I plan to FILL my fridge freezer and this extra freezer with microwave meals, and you’re right - I hadn’t thought about snacks, but I should get a lot of snacks!

Excellent advice! Right now I have a mini dry erase board that magnetizes to my side door (it’s a metal security door) right by my sofa and chair that I plan on using for just that! I’m also hoping my reliance on phone alarms stands by me during this time. I think probably my BFF can help manage those for the first few days.

I have a ton of little ice packs, including a body wrap ice pack thing, lol I purchased this to attempt to basically cool sculpt my tits off, but surprise, it didn’t work. But I’m glad I still have it. I really hate using ice and as small a step as this is, I think it might end up being one of the more challenging steps.
I’m going no nips. Full android.

Thank you for your big input here!! I know it’s a lot to remember all of this and it’s emotional labor to share all this info. Love you buddy! <3

Here are some surgery recovery questions that anyone can help me answer, not just folks with top surgery experience!!!

My best friend is coming in for 4 to 5 days to help me w/recovery – while I know she will be offering care for me, I also want to make sure she has the things that she needs in my home.
I am very aware that I don’t really participate in traditional recreation or “chill”, or have a lifestyle that is set up for things perhaps more typically aligned with relaxation.

I don’t have a television, I don’t really know where the “cool “places are to go (Although I could definitely make her a list so she has somewhere she could go get coffee in the morning and stuff?), etc etc.

What can I do?/plan ahead for that would make my guest more comfortable?
Obviously I can’t get a TV like set up and mounted and I don’t even have any service … but maybe I could borrow a monitor that she could hook her laptop up to or something? Honestly, honestly I don’t even know if she cares about television I just know that’s a thing most people usually do?? I just don’t know what other people like to do “for fun”?

We also haven’t seen each other in like 6-7 years

Hell yeah.
Buddy
You’re CRUSHING THIS. You are awesome.

Do you have or could you borrow a tablet? You can put Youtube and whatever streaming service(s) on it. My mom had mobility issues recently and even with having several streaming options already, after a while I added her to our Disney account and she was happy just for the novelty of content while she recovered.

You say you don’t participate in traditional recreation or “chill”, so what do you do to unwind normally? Maybe we can brainstorm ideas for adapting it to surgery recovery.

Good idea. I don’t have a tablet, but I do have an old laptop plus she’s very welcome to use my current laptop. I have two or three low thinking board/card games too.

As per the quoted above ^ that’s a whole can of worms.
While I do have morning and evening “wind down routines” that I use to manage being able to fall asleep and being able to wake up, I don’t actually have a lot of recreation skills (I’ve been working on this)
– I basically just do tasks from my never-ending to do list until it’s time to crash or unless my body objects (stomach ache etc). I’ve been trying to force myself to get back into reading, but it hasn’t been successful yet.

I’m not tremendously in touch with what I like to do nor unwinding skills.

For your friend:
#1 is that she knows she’s coming to help you, not to go on an all-inclusive vacation, so to some extent she will be ready and happy to fend for herself.

#2 is space in food prep areas (fridge, freezer, countertops) for the things she needs to be comfortable. Access to beverages of her choice. Space for a coffee setup is very important if she is a coffee drinker, but tea, seltzer, a specific kind of soda that needs to be cold, are things you could ask her about. Coffee people always forget that other people don’t drink coffee so that could be a thing to check before she comes.

#3 a comfy place for her to sit while she hangs out. What she does there (read, look at Instagram, watch tv on her phone or laptop) is up to her, but a comfy place to do them will be appreciated.

This isn’t for her comfort, but if you get Maple an AirTag see if you can add your friend to the people who have access to its location. If Maple does manage to get out your friend is probably going to be the one looking for her, especially if you’re still coming down from anesthesia.

@Oro I know I just asked you 427 questions above, but I’m BACK

Lol, just a simple one this time – do you think something like this would’ve helped you?
I’m leaning toward yes for me.

IMG_7980750×1075 196 KB

Here’s what I did:

Drive home (I was not driving) just popped a pillow between me and the seat belt.

Regular pillow worked fine!

I think I did that when I was driving too?

Nice, thanks for the feedback! I guess I own a sewing machine now and even though I need to take classes to figure it out, I do have basic enough skills to add some straps to a regular pillowcase and just make one of these probably.

^ I just like the idea of being able to wear it around

I personally felt secure enough around the house in the compression vest but you know yourself best

I have my nurse hour Q&A tomorrow and I think I’ve run out of questions. Here’s what I’ve got:

• Please talk me through the entirety of my few days out preop appointment and my day of surgery-
As in, what will we talk about? What will I be doing? What are some of the basic big picture steps? How long can I take with the surgeon at my pre op? I really need us to be on the same page and it’ll be the only time I meet him.

• Will they do an extended scar/incision for me to prevent dog ears? Or will they do liposuction? If they do liposuction, that is not covered by my insurance, right? If it is not covered by my insurance, how much can I expect it to be extra out-of-pocket? Can you have billing estimate that for me?

• What can I expect immediately recovering from anesthesia?

• I received my postop care sheet in mychart – are there any updates or things that need to be added to these instructions?

• Should I have an increased temperature at any time during healing? Or is that a sign of infection?

• I have never had any type of surgical procedure done, and I have never been under full anesthesia, just light anesthesia (colonoscopy), which was rough for me – what are some key takeaways I need to know? Like is there a thing down my throat? Can you explain all the parts and pieces?

• What are the things I’d need to go to the ER for during healing vs contacting my surgeon?
-accidentally ripped out a drain
-certain types of wound color, smell, or appearance?
-bruises?
-accidental hit to the chest (Like a neighborhood kid Accidentally throws a ball and it hits me, or someone taps me in the chest with their door in a parking lot?
-etc

—————-

Anything else y’all can think of?

notes for the person who will be helping you out the first couple of days?