You’ve mentioned that your current budget feels really tight - will you be able to set aside some % of your raise for current spending to give yourself some breathing room?
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We are here to support current you AND your learning and growth. No financial restrictions will limit you because you are incredible and capable. 
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The good news is, the budget is less tight than I tought. With the 10k raise its basically just ALL going into retirement accounts pretax. I thought I could further reduce spending to max out the 401k but that seems really a lot.
Thank you <3 Maybe I can take some time to reflect on this fear and see what I feel like I’m missing. I’m sure there are solutions.
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It may not be the season of life for that, and I think that’s OK. You’re basically the main breadwinner and the main caretaker. MrM is working on a PhD and Meowlet is a lot of hands on work right now. You’re walking a tightrope to maintain sanity and health, so it’s a time to carefully throw money at certain problems if possible.
I was only head-salary-maker a few months, and circumstances and frustrations were pretty different there, but one thing that helped when I felt the pressure was remembering I was putting a large % into retirement so even when we saved nothing from my paycheck, I was still saving, and still had that safety valve. So give yourself full credit (even extra credit!) and a 
for saving that pretax 10k even if it doesn’t max the limit, even if you don’t see it in your day to day. You are still changing your family bottom line and trajectory.
Moreover, you put yourself out there, you negotiated, you got better benefits. You are AWESOME. 
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I was about to try on and then purchase a fabulous jacket at Ross when I noticed a cockroach on the back.
Cured me of my desire to spend. Not sure how applicable this technique is to others, but I have a feeling I won’t be shopping for clothes again I’m a hurry.
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Oh Jesus. Like. An embroidered one? Please say embroidery.
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Is there any particular reason you feel the need to do this right now? Other than maxing out your 401k is The Right Thing To Do?
Future gains are great and all, but maybe chucking more into retirement can wait until Meowlet is older/Mr.Meow is Dr.Meow and expenses plus stress are lower. Your peace of mind is worth so much and the false scarcity this creates can be really damaging.
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I wish.
It took me a second to register what I was seeing and in that time, it helpfully wiggled its little antenna at me. 
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+1
I just decided to decrease my 401k for the remainder of the year so as not to max it out. So far I have not been unceremoniously expelled from the financial forums.
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Aw hell no.
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@rocklobster @galliver @Marcela
I guess in the back of my mind I’m hoping I’ll still be able to retire early, even though there is no way the numbers will really happen especially given the lifestyle I prefer, my desire for two kids, and both of our choices in career.
But that said, it does feel freeing to think about simply meeting our needs and then at the end of the month being able to spend the excess since I’ve checked the box, so to speak, with the $10k in retirement and my emergency fund filled up.
But I do think you’re right that giving myself permission to just spend the money does make a world of difference in how happy I feel. Haha. Maybe I’m too consumerist…
(sorry I accidentally batsignalled you kenner!! Lol)
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That’s what we do. We don’t max out the 401(k) even though technically we could, but we would have to strip away a lot of nice things. I think it’s ok to choose to have some luxuries as long as you aren’t jeopardizing regular on time retirement, which it doesn’t sound like you would be!
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You can always raise contributions to savings when Mr Meow graduates. For right now, you also need to be able to have a nice life with a few treats allowed. I say allow yourself some grace with the savings for the next couple years.
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EWWWWWW
Unfortunately our car insurance company will not pay anything because theft isn’t covered on our cheap plan. I think we will end up fixing the car for $2,200 and then street park it and hope this doesn’t happen again. This will be a big hit to our e-fund but I guess that’s why we have it. Trying not to be too upset. Have cut one of my medical things (no insurance coverage) I was going to get done and cut back on therapy 50% to help. I miss having a job and making money. 
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I want 2 air purifiers, a small one to shuffle around the bedrooms and a big one for our open plan living area. I’ve opted to just get the small one and spend time saving up for the bigger one, but allowing myself to buy it if I feel panicky about summer smoke.
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We went to the restore to try and buy a dining table, and a few other pieces. Nothing was right, but we spent $1o on kid books, a cleaning spray bottle for clinic, and a Christmas ornament.
That plus a winner’s trip exhausted us! Shopping is hard and now the table can be delayed a while longer.
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I have some wonderful news!!! Husband, i.e. best person in the world, decided to wake up very early and take the sad broken car to another mechanic who said he could fix it for $575! AND, for others following this storyline, apparently he can replace the cat converter with something called a universal cat, which is only worth like $10 on the black market, so he said it was very unlikely anyone would steal it because thieves know that! They will also do an oil change and another thing I don’t understand, so the cost may be a bit higher than $575, but that is the base price for all the repairs.
I am so relieved. Now husband is on his way back home on the bus after going produce shopping for me since I can’t do much still. Having a car again will give me a big part of my life back! I’m so happy. And I feel so grateful to be married to someone who is book smart enough to do his job but also really street smart. He has gotten us out of so many sketchy situations in the past. I need to do something really special for him as soon as I feel better. Maybe I’ll make him a lemon meringue pie. I’ve only made one once but it’s his favorite and he was so impressed.
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That is WONDERFUL.
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It’s such a huge weight off! I feel like we won the lottery or something 
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