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You are on FIRE today!
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I feel seen.
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Are those Cypress? Or juniper?
Probably depends on where you live the common name 
another struggle with common names, lol. But I’m not familiar with cypress of any flavor, so I have no idea tbh, I’m just familiar with the struggle with PNW native plants versus Invasives. Common names make discussing them so hard sometimes.
ETA and the only juniper I know is like this one in our deserts in eastern OR and NV-
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Or wait, was that a joke making exactly the point of the meme 
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I would call all of them cedar.
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Since those plants mostly don’t exist by me, I think the bottom one is juniper and the rest start getting described by whatever shape humans have trimmered them into, as well as vague hand gestures.
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Actually the ones in the middle are not cedar. The top and the bottom are. Cedar has hands.
Please note that I am not a botanist.
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So, here’s what I found.
Basically, Cypress if tree, Juniper if bush? The fruits are a bit different. Both are in the family Cupressaceae (cypress). Basically I belive both Cypress and Juniper may be common ways to refer to the landscaping bushes, I just learned Juniper first. And Cypress to me is gnarly Monterey Cypress with a flat top.
True cedars (Cedrus) are in the pine family, and live in the middle east, but there are some members of the Cypress family called cedars, too…
Several species of genera Calocedrus , Thuja , and Chamaecyparis in the Pacific Northwest having similarly aromatic wood are referred to as “false cedars”.
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Two of those junipers are called cedars. I feel vindicated.
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To wit: common names lead to a helluva lot of confusion.
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There are a lot more junipers, too. But that’s fair.
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Am I the only PNW native seriously offended that the awesome Western Red Cedar is supposedly a “fake” cedar?
Western Red Cedar is THE cedar by which all other cedars should be measured.
Next thing you know they will be saying Nirvana was a “fake” grunge band…
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Not a native but AGREED.
Except Lebanon cedar is really a beautiful tree.
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