My impression was that he said it kind of off handedly to give some “reason” for why he said no, without thinking of the gravity of what he was saying. I think he thought it would be better to give a reason like that than like “I’m just not that into her” but unfortunately IMO it was way more hurtful.
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Oh 100%, especially when the way he presented himself was less interesting than watching paint dry. The guy had no personality or warmth
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Which is ironic since that’s what he’s accusing her of?
The very few clips where they seem to be at home in their element, they were both joking and laughing. I don’t think either of them felt very comfortable in more formal interview settings.
I actually fear that’s what I would come off like on camera, one of the many reasons I won’t sign up for a reality show!
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He actually reminds me a lot of a guy I dated in my 20s. He was very up in the clouds, like above everyone and was the least warm person ever. He broke up with me and instead of saying “I just don’t want to date you” he came up with all of these elaborate, personally insulting things to say about me, and then got angry when they made me upset and couldn’t understand what was wrong with what he said 
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I’m finally catching up! Watching the reunion now 
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I can’t believe I’m going to say this…but I’m on team Paul on this one. Disclaimer that I still stand by not liking Paul (as I said way back in my initial post on this season) but on this particular point I agree with him.
Reunion Spoilers
I feel like what he’s saying is super obvious! She was a mean girl and she loved seeing other people struggle and turning the heads of other women’s guys. Her friends were rude to him to his face and she didn’t defend him at all, while he took it like a champ. Both Bliss and Zach are backing up that she never stood up for him and talked badly about him. And so he saw all of that and thought she didn’t seem nurturing. Like, yeah, I completely agree! I didn’t see her as nurturing at all, and so I can see why he said he had trouble picturing her in a nurturing role. When I think of someone nurturing I think of: kindness, compassion, softness, safety, openness, etc.
I can’t believe they’re like, “Why didn’t you tell her?” LOL, seriously? How can you tell someone that? I agree with Paul that traits like that should be natural! I mean I guess Jackie did what they are suggesting to him, she told Marshall right to his face that he wasn’t masculine enough for her and that he was too sensitive. That didn’t go particularly well either, lol. I have literally never given someone I dated feedback like that! I mean telling a guy they aren’t masculine enough or a woman they aren’t feminine enough is like a minefield. I can’t believe they think he should have let her know??? I think that would be awfully mean. And it did hurt her when she found out! But then they’re like, wanting him to be more specific on what about her isn’t nurturing??? IDK man, lol.
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Oh I definitely didn’t want to hear Paul’s why. I only wanted to know why he thought it was OK to share that thought.
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You thought he shouldn’t have said it at all? I get that, I feel like then people would have accused him of being a terrible communicator and kept hounding him for why. I mean I can’t imagine going on one of these shows in general. I guess I feel like it wasn’t totally an off limits thing to say since these shows often show people talking about such personal things (not being attracted to each other, etc.).
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Yeah. It’s so cruel. I also don’t think Jackie and Marshall should have said those things to each other. But I guess that’s why I’m not on a reality show 
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I’m so glad Brett and Tiffany are together- they are the wholesomeness we need. I was so worried when she fell asleep on their date! My husband and I were watching it together and he was like, “the ironic thing is that it’s such a good sign, because he makes her feel that comfortable,” haha, we were both hoping he wouldn’t take it as an offense!
Zach and Bliss look happy too! And Kwame and Chelsea, of course, haha. Their apartment omg.
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Same omg, what a cool thing to watch. It’s so funny, it’s almost BORING to watch people find a good partner on these shows
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A spoof reality show about healthy marriages would be funny. But only for like one episode because it would be so frictionless, lol.
ETA: OMG THERE IS GOING TO BE A GAY ULTIMATUM. Finally. I can’t wait!
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On boring people on reality tv - There was some season of Real World I watched forever ago (in NOLA I think?) and there was a Mormon girl that had some drama about if her college would let her come back now that they saw she slept in the same room as a man!!! Not had sex with, I don’t think she even shared a bed with, just shared a room with him and at least one other person as their sleeping quarters. But once that got resolved, or at least had no new developments, you basically never saw her on the show again unless she was in the background of other peoples’ drama.
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Hahaha, that’s amazing
Yeah I think it’s tough. I think it’s fair for him to have made his decision based on that (and I didn’t particularly like Micah or think they were a good match) but it wasn’t necessarily a great thing to share. But I agree that on these shows it seems like people say really personal things…but then there’s a lot of drama/backlash about it, so if you don’t want to deal with it you should be more careful about what you say. I do think he shouldn’t have had to explain himself beyond what he said, like I think it’s wrong that they were asking him why he would think that about Micah. He’s allowed to think whatever he wants! But he shouldn’t say it outloud unless he wants to have to explain himself.
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Paul reunion & wedding spoilers
I don’t think he’s great with words and making people feel good about these things, but I definitely agree with him on two points:
- You shouldn’t ask someone to change something fundamental about their personality. And pointing it out as a reason you might say no is essentially asking them to change it. People can’t change something that big that quickly (if ever) and shouldn’t be asked to.
- Ending a relationship because it’s good for you IS good for the relationship. I wouldn’t want someone to pretend they were invested/happy if they weren’t. That’s not a good relationship.
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Agreed! Did you also think
Summary
Paul’s friends looked upset at him for saying no? I thought that was super interesting. They were all kind of like (in body language), “come ON man!!! why?!”
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Tiktok has gotten me excited for this one!
Are Brett and Tiffany the ones where
Summary
when she saw his apartment, she ran around screaming that he was rich and telling her teachers to eat her ass?
Because that was amazing.
I completely agree with this!
Paul/Michah
I don’t think Paul should have explained his reason for not marrying her that knowing Micah would see it later. I can totally see how it hurt her. But I feel like it is fair to describe someone who exhibits mean girl behavior as not nurturing. And I could also see how it would be difficult to imagine a meanie as a mother.
I continue to feel bad about watching this show. I think it is so exploitative to give people such a short deadline for deciding on marrying. It actually affects their lives! And yet I enjoy watching it. But I feel so much less guilt when I watch my favorite reality show, the Circle where it is just a game and everyone knows that.
Reunion/Couples
On the bright side, it does seem like a few of the couples are genuinely in love this time and I think this is great. I was so sad for Kwame that his mom wouldn’t even talk to him before the wedding-- I’m glad she has warmed up since. I wish everyone on the show much happiness.
What did people think of Vanessa’s questions on the reunion? Some of them were rude! I don’t think any of the couples owe her (or us) insight on when or if they have kids, for example.
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Also, it makes me sad how much effort everyone in this show puts into looking conventionally attractive. So much makeup, super long hair, so much effort put into clothing, etc.
I mean, it’s reality tv so I’m not surprised. And I know that the public is mean, so the people on the show try hard not to give reasons for people to be mean about their physical appearance. But the show is called love is blind! I still would love to see more diversity in how people look.
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