I didn’t listen to the podcast but just based on the comments here I think probably she got a lot of clarity from the interview hearing her (ex) husband articulate everything he expected from her!
What an ass.
Oh wait, different couple from the man child husband one?
Yes, totally different couple!
OH MY GOD DRAKE AND KARA
This is BATSHIT
Also can someone tell me what kind of job this man is doing? I do not understand all of these people who are spinning up entrepreneurial businesses that can gross $12k a month. What are they doing all day. What is he doing that he can’t order subway or whatever
I feel the need to rant about today’s episode. Putting under spoilers so I don’t ruin it for anyone.
They are a couple where the wife is 30 and the husband is 45. Married for 4 years and together for 10.
For most of the episode, it is the wife complaining that the husband doesn’t take any initiative or help her with finances at all, and he doesn’t believe her when she says there is plenty of money to do all the things and buy all the things. She wants to go on a girls trip to New Orleans immediately after returning home from England. He says they can’t afford it and she says they can. She justifies this by pointing how much money is in their checking and savings accounts, which to me sounds like not nearly enough money, even for a couple who doesn’t have any kids. I’m on the husband’s side. Ramit kind of drills him for being cheap and always saying they can’t afford to do things. In my mind Ramit spends way too much time on semantics and what does “poor vs out of money, etc” mean. Last year they made $120k but this year they are on track to make double that, so $240k. Ramit is like, see, you have plenty of money! You don’t need to keep saying you don’t have any.
Then they preview their finances, which will actually be addressed in detail next week. They have debt coming out of their eyeballs! Negative net worth. $200k in student loans, $30k in credit card debt, 2 car loans, 2 motorcycle loans, a freaking timeshare! Plus they spend $500 per month on their pets, and pay pet insurance, and have whole life insurance policies.
The husband was completely right! They don’t have any money to spend on frivolous things and trips! I’m really looking forward to the 2nd episode and I want to see Ramit change his tune and point out that they really can’t afford everything! Yes, I think the husband should take on more of a role so they are partners in their financial journey, but he has been right all along that they can’t afford things.
Lol I have 10 mins left and have gotten to none of what you described. A spicy turn for sure!!!
I disliked their dynamics and I think that shows in the numbers you just shared (and I will hear in a bit).
I really really hate the dynamic of “asking for permission” in any relationship. In a partnership it feels really gross to me. I think shared decisions and considerations are important but that is wildly different from the parent/child asking side of things.
Also from the first part of the episode it feels like he blames her for all of the spending. He doesn’t trust her to not spend it all. DUDE, look in the freaking mirror and take some responsibility.
You’re right that they need some MMM style face punches and you’re right they need help there. But he doesn’t get to blame it all on her either. It reminds me of the woman from a few weeks ago who was “simple”. No ma’am. The lifestyle you want is not “simple” it’s just a story.
Hmmmmm
YES! They have 2 motorcycle loans! He works for a motorcycle dealership. Where do you think those came from?? Plus all of the maintenance and insurance costs for 4 vehicles for 2 people! He totally has ownership in that! Also, I think this is going to end up being a case where the “big” decisions like what/how many cars you own, where you live, etc set you up to fail financially and the small purchases don’t mean as much.
I kind of threw shade at this too. I try to be open minded but it definitely sent up red flags to me. DH is 8.5 years older than me. We started dating when I was 24 and he was 32. I often tease him about how I liked him when we became teammates 4 years earlier and he never took the hint, but he is adamant that a relationship when I was 20 and he was 28/29 would not have been appropriate.
I love reading these recaps, thank you for continuing to post.
Which reminds me…does anyone speak to AllHat? Is she doing ok? I miss her.
I’ve been thinking of her, too. I have her email and I’ll reach out.
I’ve been thinking this a lot too. I hope she’s doing well. 
I miss having her around.
I was just thinking of her today, and then I saw this thread. I miss her, too.
It gets worse in Part 2. They bought a time share.
She is getting a PhD to the tune of $250,000 in student loans. They have not yet revealed her subject area. I cringed if it is history or something that makes her unemployable in the field.
The motorcycle thing I can see. He works for a motorcycle dealership so he probably needs to own one but he doesn’t need to owe money on it, and he doesn’t need 2 of them.
I’m halfway through. Somebody correct me if I’m wrong - but I’ve always heard the conventional wisdom that nobody should pay for a ph.d! A professional degree (I.e mba, m.d., etc) yes but not a ph.d. She seems so unbothered by the enormous amount of debt.
I have a PhD in engineering and I never met any PhD students who were self funded when I was in grad school. The humanities majors I knew didn’t have grants but they TA’ed every single quarter and got their tuition paid that way.
If your school is charging you tuition for a PhD, they don’t actually think you are qualified to get one and they just want to get some tuition money out of you before you drop out.
Yeah. In Econ I don’t think anyone pays for a phd. The program I was accepted into was fully funded + living stipend
The humanities students at my grad school didn’t get a summer stipend because there weren’t enough classes for them to TA, but if your advisor wants you there at all they will find you funding.
In my humanities program the MAs had funding/TA/GA positions that covered tuition, books and maybe $500/month living (aka not enough) PhDs got enough to pay rent back then in a sketchy area with roommates. So I know some people took out loans, but not crazy amounts. None of us are employed in our field due to MA and PhDs in interdisciplinary humanities being niche. There was one sister program that was slightly more useless and I wish I could remember it’s name
Ok you guys have sparked my interest and I finally watched the youtube! I like the concept of the show but I really don’t like the way Ramit approaches things. It really annoyed me that he started with the psychological stuff before showing their budget/expenses. Does he always do that? Because - they CAN’T afford girl trips right now but they made the guy look like a judgemental jerk for telling her no. And then at the end he went back to telling them not to sweat dining out. No Ramit! They have 30K in credit card debt. They are not ready to live their rich life yet; they’ve been living beyond their means!
Yes! He always approaches the psychological first, which I think works really well when he is interviewing people with over $10 Million net worth who refuse to spend more than $2k per month (might be an exaggeration on my part 
). But, it doesn’t work well in this kind of scenario
However, in cases like this, they really can’t afford to do all the trips and buy all the things and I was really frustrated that they didn’t circle back to that in part 2 to readdress it. I thought maybe I just missed it or something but I don’t think I did.
My interpretation of this couple was that
They piled on the husband because he always says they can’t afford things but he isn’t the one who doesn’t do the finances. They made him seem like the bad guy because he doesn’t help and just says no all the time.
Their cashflow is very tight because of all of the big/fixed expenses, which he had a part in. Whole life insurance, car loans, motorcycle loans, time share, etc. He is aware that they don’t have money for frivolous stuff, because he knows about how much debt they have and how tied up their cashflow is!
Wife still argues that they have a lot more than he thinks because he doesn’t realize how much he has made this year and he actually made twice as much as last year. Cool, but making twice as much hasn’t resulted in paying off all the credit card debt, so…
OMG the credit card debt. I understand that they have paid it down from the peak, but if you skip the stupid girls trips you can pay it down so much faster! Take a little bit of initiative to learn things on your own, instead of just sticking your head in the sand and playing dumb. (I do honestly like Ramit’s “innocent doe” expression. One of the things I actually like that he talks about.) So, the husband was correct that they don’t have money to spend on things, because they have already spent all of their money plus more!
Wow - I’m a little feisty today. Sorry for my strong opinions. Overall I agree that both partners need to take an interest in their family’s finances. In our house that means I manage things day to day. At the beginning/end of each month we talk about how we did in the previous month and what the plan is for the month going forward. Sometimes he checks in and asks questions throughout the month.nHowever, if you asked my husband on any given day how much money we make, or how much we spend in a certain category, he wouldn’t be able to answer you.