I’m not sure. Partner is wonderful and supportive, but has been pretty hands off about this whole process. I haven’t asked her to be more involved. I have showed y’all more chests I’m interested in than her.
For whatever reason this feels and has felt like a personal journey, one where Partner is around to give thumbs ups etc when needed, but not much beyond that. This is not a criticism. Just a fact.
I had considered taking a different friend, but she’s out with a stomach bug. :<
I’m not sure. I might float the idea and see what reaction I get with Partner, lol.
If it’s helpful, maybe you can frame it as “Can you come along to take notes so I can be fully focused on talking to the doctor”?
But I would also want to be involved in important doctor visits for my partner. We’ve gotten used to everything being low key so last year when he was dealing with [ongoing chronic issue] with a new specialist I insisted on being at one of the follow up visits and wished I had gone to the earlier appointments with him, but at the time it felt like I wasn’t letting him be his own person if that makes sense? Which wasn’t true, but I didn’t know that till after the fact. So you can also just say “This is important to me and I’d like you to be there.”
Be prepared that you may not get pricing information at the appointment. I was recently exploring an elective procedure and the Dr. said something like “we have various pricing packages, you’ll have to contact X in accounting to get the info”
I like to do ‘active listening’ at some appointments and repeat back what they told me before asking the next question since it can help the appointment go smoother. Not sure if this is because they realize I’m not dumb, or it strokes their ego of being the knowledgeable one, but either way I find it works. For example: “So, you’re saying that inverted-T has a good success rate, but sometimes there are complications. Can you tell me more about the biggest risk factors?” YMMV obviously based on the Dr’s personality.
Called one last time to CONFIRM CONFIRM CONFIRM. Double triple confirmed I don’t need the letter of readiness in hand for the consult. Phew. Got put on hold twice for that one.
And sigh, now they are no longer sure if the consult will be free. But whatever. “That is up to the doctor and you will know tomorrow.”
…
US Healthcare is FUN.
It’s been like 30 hours post surgery but she is already just so happy that it’s so much smaller. She’s definitely not having a ton of fun but is super elated and able to text and stuff. Lucky for her, our aunt is a nurse and is staying with her for a bit to help w recovery
The best convo I’ve ever had about identity versus presentation versus how we feel in our own damn bodies happened tonight (and I’ve had a lot, since circa 1989 onward), at a former mall food court of all places.
It was glorious
And made me feel so lucky you are in my life – you were not discussed; this realization was separate from our conversation but I thought of it again just now. You’re amazing. I want everyone in the world to feel supported to live their Truth and I want everyone in the world to feel loved for who they Are. Your sharing this part of You is such a gift to the rest of us.
Just a fact. 
This process is gauntlet enough.