Hi!!! I just spent the entire time I read responses trying to remember what led my family to compare something to "that weird white north American thing where they kick kids our at 18.’ Because we just discussed this last week.
Middle class indo-guyanese
Working class Irish/Scottish via England
Raised as a 1.5th generation Canadian suburbanite. Is this specific enough? Because that makes me either me or my brother.
I can literally show up to any relative’s house up to my parents’ cousins level, whether they have ever met me or not, and they will have to house me and asking me for rent would be entirely unacceptable. The catch is, unless I’m relocating to a new country or province, it would be equally rude of me to do this, except when it’s rude of me not to. Fair or equal household contributions are expected. Rent specifically is taboo. So for the aunt who’s family was on benefits in England, when the kids started getting benefits their share of benefits was expected to go into the pot, and they were expected to contribute chore wise. My parents did not need any money from me, so when I temporarily lived there I was expected to do more than my share of chores, to buy groceries that they would also share (but they also did groceries), to share my books and anything cool I had that they didn’t. And, painfully, to entertain them. A middle ground for a family member living with a sibling who doesn’t need rent money might be to pay some of the household bills, or to pay the bills of another family member who has less income.
Also household contribution is not a thing to be discussed. That is as weird as charging adult rent. People should offer and be refused, and when it’s the correct offer it will be eventually accepted. It is super awkward if someone is so tone deaf that it needs discussing, or one of my aunts had to kick out a cousin once to teach him responsibility. I think he was 28, and it had been debated since he was 19.
Anyway, the weird thing we were comparing to kicking kids out, was the practice of having visitors stay at hotels or not offering your room if they are more qualified to get your room.