We do! At the end of the month I go over all our numbers and we have a little meeting. I usually just ask him “is this a good time for some money talk?” and that’s how we start, I don’t usually ask for a formal time or anything. When husband was busier because he worked way more hours I would often just email him a 2-3 sentence summary, but I prefer talking about it.
I make all the long term strategy decisions and do all the research/management, which I don’t mind at all, but I never want him to be one of those spouses who has no idea what’s happening with the accounts. Any time I move money or hugely alter the plan I let him know in advance and make sure he’s ok with it/doesn’t veto it/etc… If I need numbers checked sometimes I’ll have him check my math too but I haven’t needed him to do that in a long time. I make my own projections for us and so far I have hit them so I think that’s made me more confident in my numbers. I used to have him look over my math a lot more!
Currently we are also talking weekly, not so much about the state of our finances but to talk about potential purchases that will be made in the week. This isn’t an all the time thing for us but we are saving for a house and have a HCOL and only one income so in order to also save we have to be diligent. Talking about purchases in advance helps both of us spend less. For husband, he’s prone to one off random spending (a new trash can, and a shower curtain liner, and some gum, and then also shoelaces, gas, and a coffee out) so I think the weekly stuff helps him organize his thoughts and be less random. For me, I’m more prone to consumerism and shopping, like clothes, makeup, skincare, ingredients, house stuff, etc. The weekly meetings help me spend less because hearing my husband talk about how carefully he’s trying to think makes me feel just enough guilt in the moment that I won’t spend (almost bought something the other day then thought about how he said “I can put off buying bar soap until next week” felt a bit silly and closed the purchase).
I’ve been very surprised to learn that a lot of couples don’t talk about their finances at all! Even people who have their money combined. I think it would be really hard to stay on track that way. Husband was very resistant in early years (he wanted me to take care of it, but not bother him with it). It only took me like, lol, two years or something to realize he was anxious about money and that’s why he was avoiding it. So I try to keep our talks short, and always start with a reassurance “nothing is wrong! we are ok! now lets get into spending…” and I think that’s helped. Also, not ambushing him helps. I love money and planning and so I used to just randomly pepper him with facts or questions and then he’d get all tense and weird. Asking first, “money talk time?” has really helped. I don’t have a lot of anxiety around money (or in general) so I don’t fully get it but it seems like that extra mental notice helps, fwiw.