I’ve also seen that it can go the other way: clinics that prioritize their success rates can push women who may not have to do IVF into choosing it more quickly.
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My first clinic got great stats for their size by riding patients HARD. They batched cycles and stimmed hard, gave lots of people OHSS, but got surprisingly good numbers as a result. But that’s why they had super low fresh transfer numbers. 
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Digging through Yelp, and it seems that for the most part, the places with higher success rates also have more stars on Yelp and a lower ratio of negative to positive reviews. Man, when there are negative reviews for any of these places, though, they really are suuuuper negative! I don’t think I’ve seen more “I wish I could give zero stars!” reviews than this recent research endeavor.
The most common complaints among all clinics were bad bedside manner, arrogant doctors, incompetent staff, egregious billing errors, seeing people only as dollar signs, and missing important things that other doctors later caught.
The clinic that has the location close to my place only has two negative reviews! And neither are really bad stuff. I think that so far I see a clear favorite emerging . . . now on to see what the costs are . . .
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There’s a website, fertilityIQ, that when they started up asked me a ton of questions about all the doctors I’ve seen and clinics I’ve been to. I haven’t tried using it as an info seeker, but it seems like they collected a lot of patient specific reviews. May help to look there too, but I don’t know what they charge etc
ETA the r/infertility subreddit used to do cost spreadsheets IIRC? Check their side bar too
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I had some tests already done, and I was just looking at SART and their website. My FSH was pretty high, though maybe they would have had me do the test again to be sure and then tell me no. I only had a limited pool of money so I just said fuck it and went to donor embryo.
There might also be places that specialize in issues like your clotting stuff. Some clinics are more one size fits all, so feel that out as well.
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OK, so I sent out 18 emails last night, and I’m starting to get replies today. All I asked for in the email so far, in an attempt to narrow my field, is if they could tell me a general price range for IVF, using my own eggs and then donor eggs, and if they have a payment plan. I did not think this would be a big issue, as one place broke down all their prices on the website. They were the only place to do so. I figured the other places don’t want to put that info out there because they want to get the email address of the lead (my company does stuff like this).
But the first two replies have just been “set up a consultation for $$$” with no answers to my questions. I don’t think I need to talk to a doctor for just a general price range? Shouldn’t that be answerable by an admin? Like, do these places really expect me to pay $275–$500 just to gather information about what they charge? Is that normal? Or did they not really read my message and are just sending me some copypasta for anyone? Is cost information that guarded that I have to pay to access it in the first place? Should I write these two places off for being shady?
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This is super common. The “defense of them” answer is that they really can’t say without knowing your diagnosis. The costs are so incredibly variable, and most people don’t realize the way the pricing breaks down. Your meds could be double or triple depending on the dosing need. Or you could neef multiple cycles, you may or may not want genetic testing, there’s stuff that can easily make one person‘s IVF cycle cost twice as much of the same clinic as someone else’s. The less terrible answer is that it’s easy to hide this information to get someone in the door, and those people only ever check with one place and just go through the pipeline there. When I talked about pricing being transparent, I meant once you were already under treatment with a clinic.
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I get all those reasons. Still, you’d think it’d be easy to send a simple PDF breakdown of the possible ranges, with like asterisks for YMMV, just to get an idea of the different basic rates places charge. Surely they have that stuff listed SOMEWHERE!
So is my best bet just to consult with the place I think I’ll like the best, knowing that the consultation money is possibly just wasted if something I hear/see there makes me shit bricks? Or to plan to budget to consult with, like, three places or something? And make the decision then? On the one hand, if the places are more than $1000 in difference for basics, it seems to make sense to “waste” $300 a few times to learn that. On the other hand, fucking ouch.
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At a minimum I think getting a second opinion is a good idea, just to make sure that they don’t think you should be doing radically different approaches. specially if any information surprises you.
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Can you smart folks help me think through some risk analysis? I’m supposed to be on a trip from 1/7-1/10, airlines, weather, and COVID permitting. If I know for sure that I’m pregnant or I’m unsure, I’ll be COVID and alcohol cautious on the trip; if I know for sure I’m not pregnant, I want to have three drinks at a fancy cocktail bar.
IUI happened on 12/29, and I think I ovulated on 12/30. Fertility Friend says I will get my period on 1/10, and it’s generally accurate within a day either direction. I have early detection tests, so I’m thinking I’ll start testing on 1/6. Since I have so little information on “can I get pregnant or not,” I’d rather know if I had a chemical pregnancy vs. wait. Obviously, if I get a positive test, I’ll know that I’m pregnant, and if I get a negative test, I’m either not pregnant or it’s too early to know.
If I get a normal-for-me period, I’ll know for sure that I’m not pregnant, right? I’ve heard the horror stories of people getting what they think is a period during pregnancy and not realizing that they’re pregnant, but my thought is that only happens when people are also taking hormonal birth control - is that right?
Hopefully I will either be on track for a baby or floral gin-based cocktails!
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No, it can happen to anyone for a variety of reasons, like a subchorionic hemorrhage, and I used to know an educated mom who didn’t find out she was pregnant until, like, after the first trimester. But if it is really super normal, than it probably is, in fact, a period. If you want to be extra sure, you could monitor your BBT- it will drop around the time of your period (although it might take a few days). YMMV, but when I am TTC, NONE of my periods seem quite “normal”!
Good luck!
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That makes total sense, thanks!
And, of course:
Just like I got a positive OPK test on the same day of my cycle, +/- a day, for 4 months in a row until I started trying!
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Pregnancy tests detect to a low enough level that I would say if you have a negative and what looks like a period, it’s massively odds it’s accurate.
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Also, I just explained this to my poor wife, and she didn’t know that getting a “period” while pregnant was possible at all. They should play “I didn’t know I was pregnant” as part of sex ed.
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That makes sense, thank you!
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That show is 1) terrifying, and 2) really reassuring that people can do LITERALLY NOTHING for their baby during their pregnancy and still have healthy kids.
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FYI, SCH is more common in IUI pregnancies as well as IVF ones, and they can (as you know now, if you didn’t before!) be a lot more blood than a period.
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TIL, thank you and so sorry that was hard-earned info!
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Just chiming in to say I had a light, short period with both girls. I think it was actually implantation bleeding, because it was a few days before I was expecting it, but both times I thought it was a period and then a few days later I felt weird and took a test that turned out to be positive.
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OK, so the place I am most interested in (the one with very high success rates, great reviews, and a location within walking distance of my apartment) actually did come at me with some numbers, and also their consultation fee is the most reasonable yet.
They said that if we both come into their (farther away) location for the first consult, they will do the consultation, AMH, and ultrasound for $270, and semen analysis for $150. (Most places are asking for more than $275 just to talk to someone over Zoom!) They said after that, if we decide to go on, we can continue treatment at the nearby location. They told me that their basic “regular” IVF, fresh transfer w/o medication is $11k, and if we want to do PGS, it would need to be frozen and FET, and that, including medication, would be around $20–25k. They also said they have fertility loans available, including one company that does interest-free OAC.
I think . . . these numbers look to be about what would be expected? Am I right? I have a good feeling about this place overall. Some of the other places that I’ve reached out to have seemed very brusque and have very hard boundaries about even mentioning numbers (aside from the consultation fee). This consultant was super knowledgeable and kind, and she made sure all my questions were answered, telling me I could call her anytime if I have more. They also have a very smart social media presence with the kind of affirming content I am used to seeing from compassionate folks.
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