I mean, people tell me all the time how tired and haggard I look - at least, in the Before Times when I actually saw people. Though my last therapist started every video session by telling me that I looked tired, which was just AWESOME. And I have a couple of friends who are STILL positive that I am being physically abused because they don’t believe shiners that dark can be natural, they think I am protecting Boyfriend and covering up for him… I have given up trying to convince them. So it’s not just my opinion, people LOVE to tell me how bad I look.
(I mean, can we just retire the phrase “you look so tired!” from our language? Unless it is followed by “so take the rest of the week off with pay” or “so let me do all these chores while you nap”?)
And, well, I feel like people are more forgiving of imperfect/sagging/blotchy boobs, because, boobs? I’ve seen similar photos online over the years and it did make me feel somewhat better about my own flaws in that area, when I saw how many people were commenting favorably.
I practically never share my camera on work calls, because I “look tired” all the time. Lately my boss has taken to telling me I “sound tired”. Like, what does that even mean? I am talking quietly because I don’t have to talk loudly, and I’m very busy, and yes after the year we just had, I am tired. Now I feel very self conscious that I am not “peppy sounding” enough and she will think I am constantly tired while working.
I think I have the opposite problem re: looking/sounding tired. I was feeling like cr** last Monday and still seemed to sound pretty upbeat on team meetings.which made it harder to justify to myself I should take a sick day.
I think 3 weeks is kind of a short time in terms of seeing the results of skincare. I mean, it’s not in terms of things that your skin reacts to in a bad way. You obviously wouldn’t want to keep using a product that makes your skin break out or gives you a rash or anything like that. But for seeing a real difference in how your skin looks in terms of improvement, I’m not sure 3 weeks is long enough to really tell anything for sure. Or maybe even ever? How much is what we’re doing out of hope for improvement, with the thought that at least maybe we’re preventing something worse? If we’re aging, how do we know how much our anti-aging products are doing since we can stop aging? Like, maybe they are doing something but they are battling an ongoing process so it’s two steps forward but one step back. Or half a step forward, one step back.
I guess what I’m getting at is, what are your goals? What are you hoping to see with these products? I think maybe that’s where you have to start in terms of evaluation. When we were in our 20s, maybe if we wore sunscreen and used some moisturizer we were doing great skincare and our skin looked amazing! But really, that was because we were young. Or maybe not, maybe you had some skin conditions like acne and you could use a product specifically to fight that and if it worked, you for sure knew it worked because your acne improved. But if you’re a bit older, and I think you and I are close in age(?), then there’s a lot more going on and each “problem” we have needs a different solution, if a solution exists at all. Like dark circles under your eyes. Or under eye bags. To a degree, those things can show up more for most people if they didn’t get enough sleep, but most of that is really just genetic. If you always have bags or puffiness or darkness even with plenty of rest, that’s just how you are and some eye cream isn’t going to change your DNA. There are some things you can do to make it show up a little less (maybe caffeine in the eye cream will reduce puffiness, color corrector and concealer can make them look less dark, keeping your skin moisturized can make everything smoother) but none of those things are going to make it all disappear and you just look like a different human. I’m sure you know that; I’m not trying to lecture you on your expectations. I’m just kind of thinking out loud about defining our expectations or hopes, really, in terms of all of this. I’m thinking about what you wrote here:
I think these are good questions to ask ourselves. What is too much to ask? How far are we willing to go to see a difference? How much of a difference is enough? How much are we willing to spend on this improved skin project? How much time are we willing to invest in it? I feel like skincare is such a rabbit hole and we can go far far far down it if we decide to. So what do we decide? What is our personal limit? Lotions and potions only? Gadgets? Procedures? Surgery? I doubt any of posting here are considering facelifts, but the people who get facelifts, where did they start? A few bottles of “magical” serums and now they are going under the knife to look “better?”
I’m probably getting a little carried away, but I think about these things as I get more and more into exploring this whole anti-aging skincare thing brought on by the wrinkles I see in the mirror.
TLDR: I think three weeks is too soon to know for sure, and also, what are your specific goals? Let’s make sure the products you have bought and the things you are doing are the best way to address those specific goals. I’m happy to try to help you pinpoint that, not that I’m an expert. I’ve just been reading a lot the last year or year and a half, so I’ll share what I’ve learned if you want to hear it. And if you ever want to get philosophical about “beauty,” apparently, I have thoughts.
Well, I am a rich teacher, so sure! What are in these shots? Botox? Botox seems pretty great, honestly. My forehead wrinkles and I can see why it’s popular.
I did not like the liquid niacinimide from the ordinary, so now I have powder niacinimide from them. They have a list of things they recommend mixing it with, all above a ph of 5. I didn’t see this, so for almost 2 months I’ve mixed it with something not on the list, their “Buffet” which has a ph between 4.5-5.5. From what little I do know, I want to use both of these products, so mixing them seems like the best way to do this. Seems to me like it’s close enough in ph since it has a range?
I don’t actually know what ph does or means, so I’m wondering if anyone knows why they say this, and wondering what could happen by doing it “wrong”? I’ve had no problems with it, but maybe it’s counteracting it or something so it’s not doing what it should be?
pH is the measure of acidity in chemistry. So something can be acidic (vinegar) or basic (bleach). It’s really important for how it interacts with… everything, really. Like, think of how milk proteins curdle in lemon juice- that’s the acidity doing that, causing the protein to denature (mess up the shape, basically). In this case I don’t know exactly what would happen, but with niacinimide being a vitamin, my guess would be the wrong pH could break it down prematurely and make it ineffective.
We have actual chemists on OMD I think though so maybe someone more well versed can weigh in haha.
Eta too low of a pH and you risk niacinimide converting to nicotinic acid from what I’m seeing online. So yeah, I think it’s mainly a question around ingredient efficacy (and maybe safety? Can’t find that yet) if it gets out of the appropriate pH range.
I suppose that’s the benefit of “kitchen sink” formulations- you don’t have to worry about the pH being balanced between all your products I guess! Downside I hadn’t considered to single ingredient products.
Also I wanna say that I am totally fine with plastic surgery. I feel like I have ill defined (but definitely existent!) personal limits on what I think is acceptable, but my general stance is that people be empowered to do what they want within the bounds of health.
Like, I will probably address my softer chin skin 🤷 and I would love laser hair removal with more money. Idcccc I do what I wannnnt.
I’ve seen similar photos online over the years and it did make me feel somewhat better about my own flaws in that area, when I saw how many people were commenting favorably.
