OKay y’all tell me - what is perfume and fragrance? How do I even start?Do I go with a classic like Chanel no 5? Do i go to a smaller independent shop? Why? How? Where? Tell me all the things.
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I like Pacifica because it’s all supposed to be phthalate-free and doesn’t give me that cloying “I just got into an elevator after a fancy person” feeling. They have roll-ons that are great to stick in a purse or for trying out scents before committing to a spray bottle.
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I love to get samples and little testers of things. I believe Sephora will make you a free tester. Then you can try out some of the big brands and see what smells you gravitate to! Exciting!!
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I personally love this feeling!!! Lol
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To each their own, I guess! haha
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That’s why I love perfume so much tbh. It’s soooo personal and it’s not like you can even really be swayed by what other people like! Your nose either likes it or it doesn’t.
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For me - perfume was too strong, so I used cologne or eau de toilet (sp?).
You really just have to try it since it reacts with your body chemistry. It can smell great on a test strip, but annoy you when you actually wear it.
I start by narrowing to scents I like in general (citrus, etc.), and exclude things I don’t like (flowery, too sweet, etc.).
I like Chanel #5 and #22, Oscar de la Renta, and Rive gauche (YSL). I haven’t worn cologne for decades - since having co-workers f’ing drenched in scents I hated.
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Kill joy moment-
May I plead on behalf of myself, other asthmatics, and those who have to work with the public that you pleeeeeease go very light on the scent if you need to wear them 
I’ve had plenty of kids I have had to do rescue inhalers because of peoples scented products in public. 
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Thank you for the suggestions! I’ll go to Sephora and get some testers for sure. Very excited 
sorry in advance for any migraines or asthmatic attacks i cause, but if anyone finds what is the right amount to wear i promise to adjust accordingly. 
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I think that as long as you aren’t planning to go in a school or medical setting or airplane, some good common sense and you’ll be fine - and if work reopens check their scent policy.
I do think that it can be a nice treat, I have a big bottle of le cedrat envirant and a few of the samples from their sample box (l’atelier cologne I think). I think that you smell some nice smells and then see how they smell on you! Some people love headier notes like in very traditional perfumes and some like fresher scents. Even talking to the Sephora people about what scents of bath products you like or don’t like could be a start.
I would also add never around a newborn!
Otherwise I wear mine for date nights or occasionally at home or in bed to feel pretty. I really like the ritual.
If you wear it every day it increases the chances you stop smelling it - so you enjoy it less or apply more. I think it’s the apply more people that can be public nuisances! A perfume obsessed friend rotates her perfumes to prevent nose blindness so that’s an option for daily wear
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Or a known pregnant person.
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I appreciate you all at large but am frustrated that my very simple request for perfume expertise has involved some “please don’t because you will stop people from breathing” or give them searing headaches or recommendations for the specific case of medically fragile people. Or at best the appropriate places and ways to wear perfume. Because I am asking about perfume expertise but also am not some 16 year old recently arrived from bath and body works with no time spent being a considerate human in this world.
seriously guys, can we just let people like things? Like when someone says they like Thai food i don’t immediately jump in and say, “well as someone who had a kid who had a peanut allergy, i need to remind you not to send that take out to your kids school because it’s happened to us before.” Or like, if you don’t like things, you can do what gdogg did and say “here’s my experience, but it was really dampened for me by a negative interaction with someone who did it wrong” without hiding it behind the somewhat unfair moralizing of social responsibility and safety for others.
If someone can walk down the street full of car exhaust and pollen and all manner of scented detergents without going into immediate respiratory distress my dab of whatever on my wrists or neck isn’t gonna be a big deal. Which is what you’d do when you spend like $150 on a perfume, i assume.
To say nothing of the fact that i work from home and commute by car and don’t socialize indoors because of pandemic anyway.
That said, the nose blindness comment was actually helpful thank you so much @elle, because it is a practical and actionable way of moderating scent that one may not think of if you have little experience. It also lets me justify purchasing two perfumes.
I am not lambasting anyone’s character or suggesting some forumwide reflection on behavior just sharing s specific and acute feeling with no action items because i can i guess.
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Sorry friend!
I was brought up in a perfume is evil house and barely knew how to experiment in my thirties- and probably still don’t but got a lot of help from perfume friend mentioned above. So I thought you had less experience than you do.
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I truly just meant it as a “heads up, this new thing you’re pursuing can have an outsized impact on others”. Truly many people don’t realize how scents impact others around them and how common it is. I don’t know, personally I appreciate when someone on the forum lets me know something I hadn’t considered like that, like allhat and certain language use etc. Sorry it didn’t land as intended.
As for how to ensure you’re not using too much, I think one trap people get into is scent stacking. I’ve watched my cousin spray perfume on in a bathroom with an active air freshener- to me, it doesn’t seem like you’d be able to evaluate how strong your scent is if it’s over top of a glade plug in, if that makes sense. Since so many hair products have strong scents as well, I imagine that trialing perfumes either before you style your hair or after it’s set in a while and scents have faded would help there. So, much like you want good lighting to get your makeup coloring right, you probably want a “clear air” backdrop to evaluate if you like a scent on your body and how much has gone on. I hope that is actionable and helpful.
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I can see it was coming from a good place and online communication is hard. Thanks for clarifying and saying so!
I confess i have a not small amount of fatigue from considering the waterfall of consequences with every consumer decision.
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Oh absolutely. Price, ethics, preferences, etc, it gets exhausting. And frankly I think that’s part of the goal because then we get locked into consumerism as both our hobby and the needed solution to our all our woes. (Or maybe that’s my dirty anti-establishment conspiracy mind talking). Tangentially related, I can legit see where my Trumper relatives come from when they’re like “I’m sick of thinking of other peoples feelings and still being wrong, so fuck everyone, I do what I want”. I don’t agree with the end effects of what they do and think, but god I can follow the thought process that got them there. Modern life is overwhelming AF.
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Pacifica is nice because it’s cheap and they can do a floral. Their “tomboy” perfume smells so great. I tend to get super specific about fragrance lines because the underlying chemistry of the perfume has a lot more to do (than the notes) with enjoying the perfume. I might not like sandalwood but if it’s a solid line I’ll enjoy it. IMO I find all Mugler and Bulgari knock it out of the park.
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This is true for me too! If I like one scent from a certain company/house/brand w/e, I’ll often get their sampler kits to see if I like the others.
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@meowkins I just came across this piece which sounded relevant to your question!
ETA this is a very cool but super cerebral convo, more about what it means to wear a perfume at all. Fun!
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I really liked this passage:
At the other extreme, I liked these subtle perfumes that invite someone to come closer. Here are two—Cyan Nori and Green Cedar, both by Abel Odor.
Green Cedar is resinous. It’s very secretive and contained. Nori Cyan smells like the sea—but not in a Jean Naté, fresh, clean, overly simplistic way. It’s more like the actual sea, with a little rot and that live, hunger-making quality of ocean air. These scents were like cool techno music, where the music is so spare it doesn’t feel complete. They’re roomy. You complete the music, or the fragrance, by moving your body around.
Maybe so much of my reaction to being told not to wear perfume in large amounts is because that was never really my intention or what I want from perfume. I want something that is subtle enough to be interesting for someone who is standing close enough to me to be affected or to notice it. A little interesting part of an interaction together, not some overpowering calling card screaming my existence to others.
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