I wish!
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NTA.
I suppose if you wanted to be flexible you could suggest keeping July and not going to the wedding, because then you could spend more dedicated time with the people you had planned to see. But that depends on how close you are to the person getting married, whether that would create opportunities to see even more family members that you would have missed in July, how much you like weddings.
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It’s my husband’s nibling, so MIL is grandma. She’ll be there, too. And she knew about it much before we did 
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They’re being ridiculous.
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NTA … As a no kids not on speaking terms with my parents person, all I can think is 4k is not insignificant chunk of college tuition or summer camp or violin lessons. Obviously you want to see family, but anything that excessively resource intensive is far tipped toward the relatives benefit over your kids benefit.
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Or you all go in July and Spouse goes back for the wedding? What if it turns out to be a “no kids” wedding and you skipped the July visit?
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It’s not no kids, our daughter was asked to be the flower girl. MIL wants two visits, it’s not so much about when the first one was scheduled for. She said since we hadn’t been the last two years we should pretend the money for the second visit came from one of those visits. That’s not even why I don’t want to do it! It’s not the money. It’s the 12 hours in transit each way with little kids. It blows. I wouldn’t want to do it even if it were free.
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If only money worked that way! Hope she is more reasonable about it soon.
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Then it sounds like she should pretend the money from one of the trips came from them flying out to see you guys last year 
if that’s how this is working. She can pay lol.
That being said, she might respond best to some sympathy like “I know, we would love to see you guys an extra time too! Unfortunately it’s just not possible this year” and then any further times she brings it up just side step with a “oh yeah that sure would be nice, too bad!” It’s hard for people to make headway when you’re technically agreeing with them but still not giving in 
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If two visits are important to her, than perhaps she can visit you for one of them - assuming that would work for you, given limited PTO and hosting responsibilities. Let her be the one to deal with 12 hours of traveling each direction, and pick up all of the costs that your family would pick up (rental cars, hotels) if you were to visit.
Otherwise I agree with @Bracken_Joy. Stating any reason at all conveys it is a negotiation to some people. Those people also struggle with No mean No but they have less ammunition if you don’t try to justify it.
ETA - it’s not like you were just kicking back during those two years you didn’t visit - these two years have been hard on everyone. Sheesh, the idea that she’s entitled to your time, money and effort to get what she wants is kind of dense.
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I agree with giving no reasons, but from a practical point of view, blaming work rules or obligations always worked for me. But yes, if you cite the travel time or money you will just start the negotiations (“oh you don’t have to rent a car, you can borrow one of ours”).
Good luck. And Spouse needs to step up on dealing with their family.
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Yeah that sounds like a circle of hell. I’m always annoyed when we have to drive three hours with one kid, I can’t imagine 12 hours.
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Agreed, but also. You don’t have to deal with their family even if Spouse does not do so. You can let it go to voicemail/forward or ignore texts and emails.
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How do I get pink bubble gum flavored doxycycline out of couch pillows?
(Dora does not like her medications)
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Depends on your couch and the fabric treatment it has. Should be care directions somewhere.
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What BJ said, there should be care instructions and usually they are on the inside of the cushion cover, like if you unzip it. If you cannot get the stain out and it’s on one of the cushions (not the arm or something) you can also reach out to the company for a replacement. A LOT of furniture companies will let you buy replacement covers they just don’t really advertise it for some reason.
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The backup plan is sew a patch over it. 
But the Oro style of furniture maintenance may not align with yours.
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It’s possible this is too random for even this thread but, posting just in case bc even my shopping skills are coming up short on this one. I’m buying a gift for my MIL and what she wants is (and yes she is always this specific, the funniest part is it annoys my husband who is THE EXACT SAME WAY, lol, I just nod like “omg yeah, how…annoying of her” haha I’m not waking that sleepwalker!):
A book on slime mold that is native to new england
The book should be field guide style for identification purposes (like the Sibley’s bird books)
The guide must have large pictures with names listed but not tooooooo much info, she does not want an in-depth tons of text book.
Large text is preferable.
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It’s not actually part of my couch. I realized I should have specified. It’s a decorative pillow. I got it out of one of the pillows (a white llama) with oxy clean but now the rainbow pillow has it on multiple colors and I am not sure the oxy clean won’t strip color off the nonwhite part of the decorative pillow
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Ohhh you know what I would do? Ask on the librarian chat program!
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