Also a good doctor taught me about getting ahead of the pain, starting home remedies and Advil before it gets bad.
And as a hippy I think castor oil packs are good for between periods
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Birth control 
(Aka shit sucks and is shitty. I’m sorry)
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If she’s opposed to a heating pad specifically but not warmth, there are stick on instant heating packs that you put inside your clothes that were really helpful for me back when I was having painful cramps. Sitting still was terrible so a heating pad wasn’t good, but being able to pop one in and have it warm for 4-6 hours did help.
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Oh, and seconding what Elle said about getting in front of it if possible (start painkillers before the cramps start if her cycles are regular enough to do so, or at the first hint of a cramp). Also snarling.
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Trying to sleep through it as much as possible. Yelling.
I went on hormonal bc as a young teenager because my periods really sucked. Obviously there are potential problems with that but…it magically made my period go away!
Poor kiddo. I hope her misery eases up soon.
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Seconding all of the above, but also going to make a recommendation that she sees her doctor(if a decent unicorn who takes women’s pain seriously) to rule out any other stuff going on beyond “normal” menstrual pain.
I still think it’s bullshit that folks who menstruate are expected to just grin and bear it through the sort of pain that would indicate emergency room visits if it happened anywhere else in the body.
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This article in the NYTimes was very educational for me, although I don’t know that it offers much in the way of practical advice.
I’m sorry she is dealing with this on top of the eating struggles.
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I take magnesium glycinate leading up to my period and during. It helps muscles relax so good for cramps and I think it helps with my mood. Also, a slow gentle walk. I know it’s when I least feel like walking, but it helps minimize cramps.
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There are several AFAB people in my life who had really painful menstruation when younger for which hormonal birth control was the solution. But even though she’s younger than normal for getting established with a gyno, might be worth doing that to rule out any possible other causes first.
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This is why I’ve been on hormonal birth control since I was 12.
But dangerous doses of ibuprofen help some.
And seconding a gyno.
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Spoilered because of long and possibly upsetting regarding Endo
Summary
I didn’t click into the article, but a close relative had endo and was wrongly treated for many things including psych conditions including wrongly placed into in treatment mental health care and put on all kinds of drugs for the mental health issues she exhibited as a reaction to the debilitating pain she was in. It progressed so far into her internal organs (spoiler: it doesn’t just affect “lady parts” and can spread kind of like cancer) that the surgery she needed to correct it nearly killed her. She suffered decades before a proper diagnosis was made. Yes, she was told she had Endo earlier in life, but it wasn’t being treated nor investigated. She was treated as if the suffering was all in her head.
It seems the primary concern of endo in the women I know (by their doctors) is impact to fertility with advice given to try to have babies young if babies are wanted. But how about any other consideration as to damage done to our bodies? We are more than just vessels to gestate other humans!!?
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Besides heat and pain medication, tea or something else to focus on often helps me get through particularly rough periods. I also notice that my periods are much, much worse when I’m low on iron for one reason or another.
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Ooooooh yes same
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CW: illness, hygiene and bad smells
I’m sorry I don’t know how to word any of this in a way that isn’t bashing them. Please please please don’t bash them. I am seriously trying to figure out how to deal with my own discomfort so that I am not an a******.
I’m looking for ideas to block my nose from being able to smell a person whose medical issues (chronic skin infections) caused by other complex underlying medical problems combined with other somewhat insurmountable hygiene factors lead to very bad smells. I’m not looking for advice for this person, but I am looking for something I can do so that I don’t do awful things like make awful faces, or worse, physically gag in their presence. (When I feel myself getting ill I make an excuse to quickly step away, because the last thing I want to do is hurt them). It was better when we were masking, because at least then my facial expressions were hidden. I’ve tried Vicks under my nose to no avail.
Also, how the hell do I decline public indoor dining with this person? With the pandemic it hasn’t been a thing, but now that we’re all vaccinated this person is eager to enjoy life, and for them enjoying life means dining in a restaurant. I think I will continue to lean on my discomfort on indoor dining because pandemic? (This person also does not like outdoor dining, so that is not an acceptable substitute for them).
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Nurse hacks:
Burts bees under your nose. Easy to do covertly because you put on chapstick and just go high lol.
If you’re in a fixed position, a cotton ball with peppermint essential oil next to you, ideally with a fan running too, works well. You can also put this on your mask and set your mask down next to you or wear it on your wrist.
Slow breaths through your mouth instead of your nose.
Drink lemon water.
Chew mint gum or pop in an altoid.
An open cup of freshly ground coffee beans is an amazing deodorizer.
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As for the second part- can you go to a coffee shop or smoke house so there are stronger baseline smells? Or outdoor dining on a river where it’s breezy.
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I think those are good ideas. I think I’ll stick with suggesting the outdoor stuff even though they’ve previously poo-pooed it. Then it’s them saying no and not us. I just have to hold firm and not get bullied into uncomfortable situations that are beyond my capacity to effectively deal.
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That is a hard situation
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Yeah, it sucks. The last thing I want to do is to add to the harm done to them by our cruel society and discriminatory healthcare system.
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I am sensitive to smells so this would be very hard for me to block or hide any reaction. Spouse discovered chewing an altoid while wearing a mask was pretty effective.
I would probably keep masking around them while eating altoids, and be outside. I sm not ready to eat inside a restaurant anyway, even though I am fully vaccinated. I just don’t trust strangers yet.
It’s a tough situation.
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