Random questions, postpartum edition

[Bracken_Joy]

Unsolicited post partum advice. Get one of these for baby care. They’re on sale right now and prime day. This is seriously one of the best baby gear items I own. You will sleep so much better if you don’t have to turn a bright light on every time you do the smallest bit of care or check some thing. Not to mention the baby.

VAVA Home VA-CL006 Rechargeable Night Lights for Kids with Stable Charging Pad, Bedside Lamp for Breastfeeding, Waterproof Emergency Light For Indoor & Outdoor, Blue https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07HT9D1JK/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_fab_Ud5HFb2Q6KFMN

[Economista]

In my case, I couldn’t add the baby to my insurance without uploading a copy of her birth certificate. I’m Colorado they don’t just send them to you, so I had to request it from the state (once it was ready) and wait for them to mail it to me. I got her added just in time for the 30 day deadline.

The hospital has the option to send in the SSN paperwork for us or we could do it ourselves. I just let the hospital take care of it

[Ferngully]

Oh hi! I can already tell this is going to be a great thread. Running around a bit now, but I’ll have lots to add and ask soon.

[Pancakes]

Excellent thread!

Tell me everything about pacifiers. Evidence based stuff and personal experiences.

Our baby is 6 weeks. I was going to avoid using one this time but he is a comfort sucker and my letdown floods his mouth and make him choke just as he is nodding off to sleep . He hasn’t reliably found his hands for sucking yet but sometimes uses them to soothe.

Last baby weening her off it was bad news and while the intention was for it to be a sleep aid only, she started demanding it all the time.

[Sunflower]

No personal experience but I’ve read in multiple places now (Baby 411, Cribsheet, Happiest Baby on the Block, etc.) that after breastfeeding is established (and maybe even before) there’s no issue with adding in a pacifier. It may even reduce SIDS risk according to a couple studies but I’m not sure that’s conclusive.

All of these sources say to wean the baby off the pacifier between 3-4 months because after that is when they develop a ‘relationship’ with it and use it as a comfort item rather than just a sucking sleep aid.

[frogger]

Mileage may vary with Covid. The pediatrician wasn’t going to the hospital when I had my baby, so the doctor who delivered her did her first days stuff (maybe it helped that he’s Family Medicine?).

And both our appointments for the first week were magically made for me. The benefits of the hospital and clinic sharing a campus, maybe.

The SSN request was filled out at the same time as the birth certificate info. Adding her to insurance and getting my insurance plan changed I did through my HR at my employer. They just needed her SSN when it came. I also changed my W-4s when I notified HR for the insurance.

I was going to apply for a passport, but then our trip to Canada was cancelled, so I didn’t bother.

[Bracken_Joy]

I have nowhere else to share this, haha, but it’s the best illustration of this concept I’ve seen. This was super helpful to me for getting nursing established. https://www.instagram.com/p/CGVzRfup4yW/?igshid=18wzrksuslf6u

Just in case it helps someone else!

[LadyDuck]

Oh that is a good one! They forgot to mention that it happens in 0.0001seconds because babies are FAST.

[Ferngully]

Friend left us a giant crock of chicken wild rice soup and we disappeared it within 24 hours. What is a service that will perpetually keep my fridge stocked with a yummy, nourishing soup that I don’t have to cook? Preferably with a pipe that can switch between a couple different soups on demand.

Like a kegerator. For soup.

[LadyDuck]

One of my friends set up a meal train for herself with an online service so people could nominate what they could cook & when they could drop it off. Would something like that help?

[Ferngully]

I often get self-conscious asking for things quite so explicitly but you’ve reminded me – when people ask how they can help (and a lot have offered food), I shall tell them SOUP or STEW! (I think it’s the magic trifecta of one-handed eating, cozy feelings, and easy to portion however much you want.)

[Ferngully]

Here’s what the hospital sent me home with: squirt bottle (like condiments, but the nozzle has 3 holes to be more diffuse), pain relief spray, witch hazel pads. Not pictured are sanitary pads, instant ice packs, and sexy mesh undies.

The Frida stuff is nice: peri bottle, witch hazel foam, witch hazel liners. I don’t notice a difference in the bottle nozzle shape due to my specific wounds, but I do appreciate having 2 bottles so I never run out midstream. The full-length liners are a little less squirrelly, and the foam is nice. But it’s not noticeably nicer than the free hospital stuff.

[Ferngully]

Products aside, my hospital recovery time was full of wonderful people. Together they basically played the role of a postpartum doula. One of the nurses was such an incredible combo of meticulous and calm and caring that we called her Saint Kathryn… I should organize a card and chocolates.

Perinatal

First thing, they guided me into the bathroom, layered up all the products into a giant diaper layer cake on top of an ice pack, helped me into the mesh undies, filled the squeeze bottle with warm water, and told me to squeeze it while I peed for the first time.

Lactation

A dedicated lactation consultant came by a couple times, but the recovery and NICU nurses were also super helpful so I basically have 4+ people for lactation help at the hospital. Because the baby couldn’t breastfeed with the CPAP machine, they got me started pumping – literally hooking me up to a pump within 30 mins of delivering, coaching on how to combine pumping with manual expression as I produced nothing and then just drops for the first few days, and encouragement that it was all about the process initially. Any colostrum was swabbed into the baby’s cheeks to try to get the same immunity benefit. Milk goes down his feeding tube (or now, switching to bottle & breast). They also rented pumps which was great bc mine hadn’t arrived in the mail yet!

Paperwork

They also handed me a pack of paperwork for birth certificate, SSN, etc. and talked about other postpartum things like when to resume exercise, birth control options, followup appts, etc.

Doula

If we hadn’t had all these resources & support directly at the hospital, our doula would have been even more invaluable postpartum. During labor & delivery I was so so glad to have her as a consistent person to trust thru 4+ shift changes/staffing swaps. She knew the hospital very well and gave me the exact language to advocate for myself once I stated what I wanted.

Postpartum, she texts to check in every day, asks if I wanted space or a phone call, answers random questions I had about breastfeeding & pain, and generally is a trusted 2nd opinion.

Her virtual doula package includes 2 prenatal & postpartum visits either in person or virtually, but I’ll have 2 postpartum since we never made it to the 2nd prenatal! I’m going to wait until the immediate medical stuff subsides. I expect to feel a little more lost and overwhelmed once Spore comes home, so hopefully she can help with that.

Day 5 postpartum. Stinging has subsided to 3 seconds so I can stop whining about peeing now.

@nickybecky1 your comment reminded me that I got catheterized too and that appears to be where my stinging is, not from the baby!

[nickybecky1]

Login • Instagram

More details here. I’ll edit if the images don’t come through to try and share the info anyway.

OKAY her IG is _wholebodypregnancy if you want to go look but it says

"This course is designed for you and your partner(s0 to help you prepare for the realities of the 4th timester. We’ll dive deep into postpartum wellness and care. We’ll talk about the importance of support and planning, as well as the shifts in relationships that often occur in the postpartum period. During the 4 hr course, we will discuss:

• The importance of the postpartum period
• Traditional postpartum care practices and how to incorporate them into your life
• Nutrition during the postpartum period
• care for partners and non-gestational parents
• care for the postpartum body, recovery after birth by cesarean
• postpartum during a pandemic
  *creating of a postpartum plan and more

Erika’s a Black, queer, Jewish doula and CBE educator and works really hard to create spaces that are inclusive of everyone. She’s also supportive of a hugely wide range of plans, she mostly just wants to help make sure people have a plan for getting cared for.

[nickybecky1]

Plus they’re great for the mood in the bath (while you labor if you haven’t already or in the years following birth when you want to have a quiet moody bath)

@Ferngully I had such great help in the NICU that I sort of wondered how people establish breastfeeding without them! I’m glad you’re getting such great support.

Our doula did postpartum visits too and we didn’t end up hiring her for more postpartum stuff, but now I would. They can come help with things around the house or just do support for the next 3 months. Sounds like you love your doula so consider extending for more services if she’ll offer it.

[nickybecky1]

We started a paci at 3 days when we were admitted to the NICU. The nurses and LCs there were all pretty confident it wouldn’t impact breastfeeding even that early. They were these ones: https://www.jollypop.com/jollypop-pacifier-s/104.htm.

They also introduced bottles at the same time for health reasons and felt the same, they recommend the preemie nipples on the Dr. Bronner’s bottles bc they require a deep latch (it’s confusing because these nipples look the least like boobs, but apparently the ones that look like boobs don’t necessarily ACT like boobs). They taught us basically this technique: https://www.mamanatural.com/paced-bottle-feeding/ and I wish I’d known it ahead of time since we had formula and bottles on hand, were nervous he wasn’t eating enough, but weren’t sure how to bottle feed. Looking back I wish we’d tried it as soon as we started to worry.

[Ferngully]

Peeing stopped hurting yesterday (yay!) so I stopped taking ibuprofen. Last night I got some cramps that felt like mild period cramps. As I was musing out loud to spouse, “wow, this is just annoying enough to be really annoying, I wonder how debilitating it is for people who have this pain monthly” I realized that if it was pain I could take painkillers! Back on the ibu for a few more days, and he fetched me hot chocolate and oreos while I sat in the fake shearling chair that is now our pumping chair.

Don’t be a hero. Don’t be a hero. Don’t be a hero.

[LadyDuck]

Absolutely don’t be a hero! There are also cramps associated with nursing (all good stuff, uterus shrinking properly etc etc) so you may find they’re worse when pumping, just get hubs to grab you a heat pack if that happens.

[Ferngully]

How do you set things up for the non-nursing parent to have as much ownership as possible for some of the feeding or other baby duties? Maybe they handle bottle feeds? Any schedule or rotation ideas that worked for you? (Our baby will need both bottle and breast for a while because he will be getting supplemental calories through formula.)

[Bracken_Joy]

Things we did:
He brought ice water any time I nursed to start
We split wakeup. Before midnight or so was me, after was him, then post like 5 or so? Was me again. Shifts is the point, lol.
When he was on shift and she needed to nurse. He would get baby, change her, and bring her to me to side lying nurse. Then put her back. So I barely had to be conscious.
When we were on triple feeds, he did the bottle as I pumped. He washed all pump parts.
It was his job to hand me one handed food regularly. Remember, food and water are required to keep up your supply and heal. They are not optional, or indulgences. Feeding you is just as important as feeding that baby, and should be a blocked out task in the same way.