Likewise, people under appreciate the term “free sex baby” I think 
my moms whisper yelled at me for telling my aunt that I ended up with a “free sex baby” ultimately. Pshaw.
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One can always go Shakespearean - “from (my/your/my mother’s) womb untimely ripped” or “not of woman born” - thanks, Macbeth!
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Excellent. Latte came out all chest burster style (uterus burster?) so I really need to come up with excellent euphemisms for my own amusement.
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I love all of you 
these terms are excellent.
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Yes. I rather enjoy us all being alive.
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Crotch goblin seems very apt. I will use this in the future.
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I was feeling a little blue because of being separated from my little crotch goblin. But then I woke up to this. Y’all are 
.
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I’ve heard c-sections called “belly births” too. Not sure it hits quite the comedic level you’re going for but it’s a little less scientific.
Big milestone - today I have a negative pregnancy test (it was maddeningly still positive this weekend).
FYI does not cooincide with a return to feeling like a normal person. Last night, a friend of my husband’s came and hung out in our yard with him. I like this friend too so I thought I’d hang out a bit before going to bed way before them.
Him: How are you?
Me: Actually not good. I had a miscarriage two weeks ago.
Him: Oh I’m so sorry.
Me:…
Between the pandemic and my life right now, apparently my social skills are now very incompetent. Not great for someone in the helping professions but at work I’m just lying about how I’m doing and skipping social events and that seems to go a lot more smoothly. Talked with a friend last night who had a miscarriage recently and she said it took her about 2 months to feel more “normal”. Like the grief is still there but she’s found her motivation and social graces.
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Well, I failed the glucose test 
The nurse said that I barely failed, but I still failed, so I have to do the 3 hour one now. I REALLY don’t want to have to do it
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I’m sorry you failed it! Bright side is that barely failing means you’re pretty low odds of failing on the long one, but always good to check. But hugs! You’re living proof that you can do all the right things, and the placenta can be a little jerk anyway 
and double bright side, if you DO have GD it sounds like you’re already eating in a way that is close to dietary management anyway- most GD can be controlled with just diet, but not all.
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Fingers crossed the long one is fine, it sucks you “failed” the short one (also what a terrible way to phrase it…)
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I am somewhat keeping tabs on how long my nausea goes for this pregnancy in my app. It helpfully said today “Nausea is unusual in the 2nd trimester. You may have HG, have you spoken to your healthcare provider?”
No shit Sherlock, that is one of the “pregnancy complications” I filled out in another part of the app? Did they seriously make an app that doesn’t even talk to itself?
Also I made it to 20 weeks with nausea. Hooray. 
At least there’s only another ~18 weeks to go and I’m generally better?
I haven’t worked for 14 weeks now. Maybe later today?
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YES!!! The apps are sooo annoying! I’m just crossing into the 2nd tri and they are all telling me (repeatedly!), that my sex drive should be high and I can safely be having lots of sex, with lots of stupid little innuendos. FUCK OFF. I can’t stop gagging and vomiting and my stomach feels like garbage. If I wasn’t pretty damn secure in my body and my relationship, all the harping on it could definitely make me insecure.
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For 2 pregnancies in a row now I have had absolutely no sex drive the entire time and I also found those messages to be annoying. (This might also be how I ended up pregnant again at 6 months postpartum - pent up demand?)
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We actually had sexytimes a few weeks ago and then I had contractions for the next 12 hours so we aren’t trying that again until after the baby is here. That also might be how we got labor started with Baby E. Worked like a charm!
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I occasionally had sex drive and reflux at the same time, with tragic results.
I liked dad books (Adrian Kulp) & scandinavian apps (Preglife), if you’re looking for less cheesy resources.
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Yeah I quit apps because they were all garbage for me. I didn’t have HG but did have needs-to-be-medicated level of nausea the whole time and never had any sex drive. I did have some sex drive in my second pregnancy but ended up having a miscarriage so not sure the hormones ever got where they need to be for a successful pregnancy. I guess next time around I’m praying for misery?
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Acne. Weird lumpy acne that won’t come to a head. ON MY NECK! (And below my ear.) WTF, pregnant body.
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I did my 3 hour glucose test today and passed! No GD! The nurse said all 4 blood draws were completely normal. Thank goodness I won’t ever have to do that again. It was miserable.
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Woohoo! Awesome news!
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