You are not alone in this! Welcome, and I hope you see success this time around 
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This really chimes with me. I’ve been reading this thread with interest but know ‘buy nothing’ is not for me. Even if I tried I would end up having to make a weird set of personal rules about what if things break, what if there is something on my long term wishlist that is suddenly at a bargain price or available second hand, etc. It would make shopping even more stressful than usual, particularly as I’m trying to become a satisficer not a maximiser. (https://www.bbc.com/worklife/article/20210329-do-maximisers-or-satisficers-make-better-decisions)
We’re both very good at delayed gratification, we will see something we really like but if we don’t think it’s worth the current price, it will go on the wish list with a target price. I think the best example was a seriously expensive Scandinavian tweed shooting smock that DH wanted but said he would only buy at half price. Three years after he tried it on for size I spotted it in a Black Friday deal at half price and then still had to convince him to get it. Two years on it’s still one of his favourite pieces of clothing and I want the freedom to keep making these sort of purchases.
So I think I’m going to name my approach ‘Mindful spending’. I want every spending decision to be well thought out and match with my lifestyle and values. Creating a beautiful, uncluttered and peaceful living space. Reducing my environment impact where ever possible. Spending a bit extra if the product is from a local producer that is keeping the money in my local economy, be it highland beef or candles! Giving to charities that I really care about.
This thread has definitely helped me think about my approach to spending.
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I might start with a no-buy January with strict rules and see which ones feel like they could be longer-term. This is a big list and IDK if any of it will work out, haha.
I have a tendency to fixate on a thing and research the heck out of it, and then not even buy it in the end. Delaying purchases even a little will probably help a lot, especially if I make a big list of wants for bday and Christmas gifts and then pare it down to things I still want 6 months after they went on the list.
I’m interested for clutter, money, and environmental reasons, and it’s been hard for me to tease out which one is most important to me in any one situation. I hate tossing things that are still usable, especially clothes that I know will probably end up in a giant pile overseas, which is why I have so many attic things 
Me:
- No clothes, unless I gain weight and they’re uncomfortable OR I need to replace something important that wore out (unlikely, I have many many clothes)
- No crafting things unless it’s for a VERY specific project! I have such a variety of craft supplies, it’s ridiculous.
- No spur of the moment “OMG this is so cute” purchases for my kids
- Fewer snacks and desserts at the grocery store, especially if I’m stocking up just because there’s a sale or because I love Cadbury mini eggs
- Very intentional presents for everyone. I’m trying to go local, small business, hand-made, sustainable things if possible, or at least digital/consumable stuff that won’t take up space long-term.
- No random cute house things. I have run out of both flat surfaces and walls.
- Implement a “wait and see” for house things that husband wants, if at all possible
Kids:
- Try to find second-hand for kids clothes first
- One in, one out policy for toys they buy with allowance? Maybe a buy-back policy so they don’t feel so sad about it.
- Try to teach them more delayed gratification. I already take pictures of things I’m not buying them right now so we can go back and look at them later for gift ideas, but I don’t know that it’s sticking yet.
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I might as well become a spokesperson for the Minimal Mom on youtube, lol. She will give her kids a box and tell them that if they fill it with things they no longer need or want she will pay them $5 for the box. She said some people think of it as bribing but the way she talks about it is that if she is getting rid of stuff, she can sell it too. They have to decide if the thing is worth keeping more than having $5. When they are little she goes back through to make sure they didn’t put things in there that they shouldn’t be getting rid of.
She has alot of other videos and tips on how she teaches minimalism to her kids.
I think your rules sound like a great start! Do you have buy in from your husband? If you complete the challenge in the way you listed - what would that mean for you and your life?
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This seems like a good idea! I’ll need to find a box that’s a size I like, haha.
Once upon a Child is giving an extra $1 per toy they buy this month, I might tell my kids I’ll give them $0.50 per toy or something. It’s a good start, for sure. They have so many toys they don’t play with until they see them in the donation pile. /sigh
I kind of have buy-in? He already thinks of himself as a low-clutter person who doesn’t buy much stuff, but he tends to go on sprees (like replacing all of his pants, or all of his shirts) or buy bigger ticket stuff. He does think about his purchases carefully, but we still have many things we don’t really need. I’d say his part will mostly be shopping around when he does decide to buy something, and reminding me what I said I’d do 
Most of my buying is dissatisfaction with what I currently have (the fit of my clothes, a lack of side tables in my living room, etc.), or seeing something fun/cute when I’m at a store and either buying it then, or thinking about it a lot for a few days.
I’m never as happy with my purchases as I expect to be, of course, because I’m pretty sure there are a LOT of other things I have to work on regarding “life satisfaction” that would give me better returns. Having more money/less stuff will lower some of my stress and maybe give me more mental space to focus on other things? I’ll have to think about it some more.
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Also, I’m NOT a minimalist. I aspire to be, and I like minimalist spaces, but I do love little decorations and picture frames and tchotchkes and knickknacks.
I am trying to work on being more intentional with what I put out, because I don’t have a lot of horizontal space for things, and what I do have doesn’t feel like it really reflects who I am very well anymore.
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I mean, like, this is my desk after I’ve cleaned it. Zero minimalism, haha. Lots of kids, zero chill.
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That might be the cutest hat I have ever seen.
I love your space and looking at all of these art crafts. I would love to look at this while I work.
I encourage you to check out the Minimal Mom anyways…she started her channel because she was sick of minimalism only being for single dudes. She is a mom of 4 and does it in a way different way than normal “minimalism”. Her house isn’t a boring black and white and sterile place. I am also not a minimalist but I am trying to bring more of the ideals into my space. The biggest things I have learned from her channel:
- Kids gain independent play/creativity better with fewer toys.
- Use trash day to take a quick sweep through your house for clutter that needs to go
- Use time will tell bins when decluttering. This is for the things that you are not ready to part with but need some extra data (time) to determine if you miss it or not. She says this is really helpful for kids too. When they go to declutter they will put stuff in the bin. If her kids ask for something by name she will give it back to them no questions asked, but if they haven’t asked for something in the bin for 6 months it gets donated
- Make your space fit THIS SEASON of life. Maybe in a past or future version of you those fancy large kitchen gadgets are used, but in this season, only have what you use in the prime spaces.
- If you are not using something, it is okay to let it go. Even if it was a gift. Even if it was your grandmas. Even if it came as a set.
- Make things as easy to put away as it is to leave them out
- Put a donate or an “outgrown” basket in every closet. This has been amazing for the baby. Once a week I take a quick pass through his clothes and put anything that he has outgrown into the basket. Once the basket is full I sort into “donate” or “keep”. If you put on clothes that don’t fit and you don’t want to keep it anymore, toss into the donate bin.
I will say that I never thought I was a minimalist, and I still am not. But I really like some of the key principles that she discusses and have incorporated them with alot of success.
I have personally been trying to declutter two physical and two digital things every day. Something as small as a Chapstick in the junk drawer that I hate counts as one item!
I want to reiterate that I love your desk and all of the special memories for each thing on there. I don’t aspire to be a minimalist, but I do aspire to simplify my life so it feels more manageable.
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This feels so similar to my experience right now. If you think about it and come to other conclusions, please pass them along! Having a bigger “why” to delay or forgo purchases will be important for me if I participate in this in a structured way.
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I keep all the crafts that are made of hand- or footprints, just so I can see how tiny they were once 
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I’m really interested in having limited buying days. Almost less from a no buy standpoint than from a “batch the little things” one! My role as quartermaster is time consuming and especially processing all our purchases.
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I’m going to focus on getting rid of things in order to avoid buying new storage containers.
Posted a yoga mat on BN, and gave away a lamp, bulky spice ferris wheel, and a spare neck pillow.
Need to take photos of Bowie’s neglected cat tower to sell.
Clothing I’m wavering on. There’s a lot of femme stuff that I no longer wear. In some cases, I like the fabric and want to reuse for non-clothing stuff, like a cat tent. Some I’m kinda like, maybe I will wear dresses again the future? Some stuff that doesn’t fit me currently, but I have a history of going up and down in size.
I feel silly writing some of that out - the dresses/skirts that I don’t want to reuse for fabric can go. If I one day decide to be femme again, I will probably want new stuff. Also want to avoid saving too much for fabric, bc let’s be real my sewing projects will be very limited.
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Giving Bowie new boxes is an excellent inducement to clearing out stuff.
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Last month I was alllll about buying a crockpot. The idea was shifting cooking to earlier in the day, instead of the after dinner/daycare rush. Instagram saw fit to advertise me some ridiculously priced and beautiful alternatives like this one and this one.
So I pulled the project on the entire purchase, and switched to trying to build a habit of cooking again (I used to cook regularly for crowds, and even went to a month of cooking school in France, but honestly it’s been almost two decades since I really had a habit.). Turns out that I have not maxed out my current equipment, and that batch cooking a giant one-pot stew gets us 2 dinners and a couple of lunches. So far I’ve made minestrone 3 times, enough that I’m getting faster each time. Next up is a few rounds of this African Peanut Soup. I’m excited about all the one-pot recipes from the Modern Proper!
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Soup season is really helpful for batch cooking! That’s a great idea–see if you can max out what you have before adding something new to the mix.
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My end of October purchases (after no-buy Oct 1-25)
- A hat for a gift
- A bike seat that fits the baby, slightly experimental
- A kids book
- A pair of leggings (maternity ones slide down my butt now, plus the new ones have pockets)
- 2 warm long-sleeved shirts (not entirely necessary but I don’t have a lot of options in between pre-baby size and pregnancy size)
- Some organizing hardware (2 sticky hooks, Ball jar lids, 2 baskets)
- Some “treat” consumables like decaf sencha, chai concentrate, and kids bubble bath
I think my no-buy muscles are getting stronger . I almost bought 2 pairs of leggings, but decided to get 1 and see if I still felt the need next month. And the influx of packages to be dealt with reminded me how nice it was to put that on hold for most of the month!
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I think I am going to do at least two no-buys in 2024.
craft no-buy
This oughtn’t be very hard, actually, because I’m in a good space with crafting. I have a wealth of supplies, but not so much that I’m drowning or looking at things that I’ll never use. I like everything I have; I’ve used up or gotten rid of everything I was meh about. I’m in a great place! But also I have picked up new hobbies in the past year and I keep looking covetously at new gouache colors. I think it’s better to nip my acquisitiveness in the bud for these new hobbies, and keep going on my stash busting for e.g. yarn.
- Included crafts: painting (gouache), calligraphy, knitting, crochet, sewing, spinning, embroidery, lucet (that’s it for my current craft list) (I’m… wild)
- I can re-buy lost/broken basic tools (like a lost calligraphy nib or if I break all my sewing needles)
- I can re-buy if I use up everything I have in a basic category if I already have a project in mind for it (e.g., basic calligraphy inks or Bristol vellum or roving if I use all mine up)
- I can accept gifts
- I can buy things for making specific gifts if I can’t find something suitable for that specific project in my current supplies, but I have to look in stash first or see if I can borrow tools/supplies. If I get pregnant or a friend gets pregnant, I want to be able to make a baby afghan even if I don’t have good yarns for it in my stash, or knit a sweater for a family member who’s angling for one, or make a scroll for a fellow re-enactor who has a particular vision.
- I’m not allowed to pick up stuff for new crafts (leather working and book binding, I’m looking at you) because ya girl needs get her embroidery and spinning in shape first!
tea
I have a lot of tea. I need to drink it up.
- I need to drink up each category of tea (black, green, herbal) before I can buy more of it
- There’s a good chance I won’t need to buy tea in 2024 if we do this
I have a STASH okay - The only out: If we’re out of a particular tea and Wizard asks about it/wants us to re-buy it before we drink the rest of that category, we can get that tea. He shouldn’t have to not have one of his two or three favorite teas because I still need to drink up all the random teas I have
- Again, I can accept gifts (but I kind of hate receiving tea as a gift because this is part of how I have so many teas I’m not into but need to drink up, so I hope I don’tttttt)
ETA: The real question: A book no-buy?!
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Haha I am in the midst of a tea no-buy right now. We have 3-4 types of tea we drink constantly, but about 10 types of tea in the house.
I’m still stewing about if I want to commit to a broader no-buy, Perhaps in 2024, but not now before Christmas.
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I have about 10 teas I like and keep around. I have far, far more tea samplers because people love to give me tea samplers.
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