This is what I’d do too. Thanks for sharing how you change your menu @AllHat .
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happy to have some other experts to lean on, though it’s unfortunate you have such expertise.
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Yesterday I realized what had been upsetting me and throwing me off of my housekeeping and budgeting (thanks @allhat, it was partly by helping you with yours)- I spent years developing a system where all of that was proactive, which let it kind of flow even though ability stuff would throw wrenches in there. Between having a child and getting married into a family of not planners everything has been reactive for 2 years.
Some things will still need to be reactive - there is no way to predict or to do in advance the masses of laundry caused by pee, vomit, or food spills. And I can’t clean the house when I’m able and have it still be clean or tolerable when I’m not able. But I could have tracked my wardrobe and not spent April on 3 pairs of seasonally appropriate socks.
So my proactive steps to start getting things better:
Make charts of everyone’s routines, school day and not
Come up with and make charts of foods that my husband can feed me (he is below some others’ levels)
- plain oatmeal
-pasta and sauce? Maybe have him take a picture of both before cooking? Or develop brand loyalty and put the picture in the chart? - quinoa shells and fake cheese?
-cut fresh fruit
-green tea
-juice
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I’m a big fan of brand loyalty when starting cooking, I found it really reassuring and made me feel good (there’s a word I can’t remember for this) that meant I felt confident doing the cooking again. Especially for things where I think some brands definitely taste better than others, like pasta sauce.
I’m going to go and reflect on the significance of the reactive vs proactive thing…
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(Also because he was sure he could boil pasta and warm jarred sauce having done it for himself single…. But there were also crushed tomatoes in the cupboard. So first 
and then I rejected it. Hearts full of love)
I’m seeing lots of checklists in my future as I make things better.
Like a seasonal clothes analysis would have caught the socks.
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how to cook freezer veggies? making rice using the instant pot?
I am struggling with menu planning atm. I think our timing for going out is breaking the pattern I had for making my lunches, and then dinners are disrupted too. I’m feeling uninspired around what things the shadowy one likes to eat vs. what I feel like eating atm.
ETA: oh, I just realized it’s also a concentration issue. Food planning is holding a bunch of things in my head to make good use of the items, because we are only two people and so I make smaller meals atm that don’t use up everything (e.g. the whole cauliflower), and so I bounce off the activity. I’ve got like 3 e-books open in tabs - obviously I’m not concentrating well.
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That makes so much sense. And you’re doing so well! For me just keeping a tiny household running feels like it pushes me to my max, and I still need help, so I’m in awe that you’re staying on top of anything ever! IDK if this is a pie in the sky “this lady clearly doesn’t have kids” idea, but would it be helpful to create a list of things called something like “Stuff Elle Would Always Love You To Do” for dh and others? Like: load of laundry, boil pasta and add sauce, put away toys, empty all the garbage cans, etc. Then when you’re down health-wise you’re not also director? Could keep it in the front of everyone’s mind too if you put it on the fridge or something, but I know family politics might make that a bad idea.
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I would love to help you meal plan! This is my favorite type of task and I’m also always cooking for two 
And not to brag, but I have the time, lol. My tips for starting, which I can then take and help you run with if you’d like:
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list (doesn’t have to be complete, like I don’t include oils or things like rice, which I always have) of pantry, freezer, and fridge stuff you have that can be used up.
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I can create a master list from what you’ve posted here of meals you’ve made.
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Think about how much repetition you’re ok with- can breakfast be the same daily for a week? What about lunch? How many different dinners do you require a week?
Again, just if you want, but I’ve made detailed meal plans for a lot of kind internet people!
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Definitely depends on the family. I did precisely that for post partum and a- no one once asked what I needed and b- when I specifically asked and pointed to the write ups of “how to do X” people still asked me to show them how and totally defeated the purpose.
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Yes! I’m going to do a post partum list and maybe just put it up early, but some things either can’t be on a public list (because of how wrong they can be done, I.e you can ruin all my clothes in one cycle) or because some people with list access are competent and some aren’t. And some have more questions.
But I think that I can leave out routine lists “for the toddler” or “for me” to help other people learn steps. And I can share a food list with partner.
And then I can work around it.
Running the house definitely takes up all my steam! I have more help than before, but it’s a stretch. I’m going to think about the next few months the way you see people switch from budgeting to live on this month’s pay to last month’s pay - and maybe also integrate that as a budget planning step for husboo?
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At the risk of being too pushy (but in actuality driven by boredom and pain) I went back through this thread and listed every meal you’ve ever mentioned. I divided them the same way you did, by lunch and dinner. But, I also broke out items you use a lot into smaller categories for future brainstorming, like soups and salads, common sides, etc. I also linked recipes when you did.
Your Current List
Common Sides/Bulking Things Mentioned
Roasted Sweet Potato
Rosted Peppers
Fried Rice
Eggs
Toast
Salad
Lentils
Soups + Salads
Beef Stew
Carrot Ginger Red Lentil Soup
Korean Meatballs, Egg, Cilantro, Kelp Buds Udon Noodles (Ssamjang inspired tare)
French Onion Soup
Lamb Tomato Stew (Ottolenghi w/ Baharat)
Roast Pepper Salad
Chicken Salad
Breaded Chicken + Lettuce + Maple Mustard Dressing
Tomato Salad With Feta and Sumac Oil
Breakfast
Granola
Yogurt
Quiche
Muffins
Lunch
Potato, Tuna, Brocconcini, Kale, Sun Dried Tomato, Pickle Red Onion, Salsa
White Bean, Tuna, Pickled Red Onion, Tomato Salad
Miso Butter Green Beans, Pickled Red Onion
Lentil Salad with Gorgonzola
Tomato Lentil Coconut Curry on Rice
Kale Tetrazzini
Kimchi Egg Fried Rice
Eggplant Shakshuka
Soft Boiled Eggs on Toast, Dukkah
Candied Salmon, Lettuce, Bocconcini, Cucumber, Lentils, Tahini-Sriracha
Rice, Lentils, Cucumber, Bocconcini, Tahini Sriracha
Lentils, Rice, Fried Onions
Lime Cilantro Rice, Roasted Anaheim Chili Lentils, Soft Boiled Eggs
Carrot Ginger Red Lentil Soup, Coriander Dip
Green Lentils, Sweet Potato, Gruyere, Egg, Bacon, Kale, Rice, Walnuts, Mustard Dressing
Green Lentils, Mozzarella, Tomato, Corn, Candied Salmon, Lime Chipotle Dressing, Croutons
Dinner
Corn Cakes with Bacon
German Potato Salad with Bacon
Zucchini Frittters (w/ or w/o Paneer)
Buffalo Caultiflower Tacos with refried beans, pickled red onion, salsa
Chicken Fried Rice with Cabbage, Ssamjang Sauce
Beef Stew and Roasted Sweet Potato
Grilled Chipotle Steak Tacos with Charred Corn Salsa
Breaded Chicken with Baharat Seasoning, Lemon Sauce w/ Onions, Grilled Zucchini
Sausage Crumbles, Cabbage and Bell Pepper Slaw, Gochujang Peanut Sauce
Salmon Cakes
Sweet Potato Home Fries & Tomato Shashi Paneer
Roast Chicken Thighs w/ Sumac + Lemon, Roast Pepper Salad
French Onion Soup, Toasts
Cabbage, Chicken Fried Rice
Breaded Chicken + Lettuce + Maple Mustard Dressing
Yaki Udon with Cabbage and Ground Pork
Chicken Eggplant Coconut Curry
Roasted Chicken, Brussels Sprouts, Gruyere
Tuna Melts
Roast Pork Lettuce Wraps
Sausage, Roast Sweet Potato, Tomato Salad With Feta and Sumac Oil
Roast Pork, Lettuce, Glass Noodles, Pickled Carrots and Cucumber, Omelet, Nuoc Cham
Lettuce, Sweet Potato, Gruyere, Egg, Honey Mustard
Lamb Tomato Stew (Ottolenghi w/ Baharat)
Fajitas, Salsa
Grilled Zucchini, Mozzarella, Eggs, Toast, Balsamic Dressing
Chicken Salad Gruyere Toasts with Bell Pepper
Roast Korean Pork Belly, Udon Noodles, Ginger Soy Sauce
Pork Fried Rice with Cabbage
Grilled Zucchini Bell Pepper w/ Harissa, Cotija, Eggs
Baked Korean Meatballs, Stir Fried Cabbage, Roasted Sweet Potato
Fried Eggs, Grilled Zucchini Coins, Bell Pepper w/ Gruyere Toast
Butter chicken
Chicken Salad With Mayo, Roasted Anaheim Chili, Cheese, Over Roast Sweet Potato
Corn Chimichurri Pork Tacos (Roast Anaheim Peppers, Ground Pork, Corn, Lettuce, Tomato)
Notes/Feedback
I see a few areas that might help right away. Just ideas! And I know you might know all this already, all I could see is what you’ve posted here and I realize there may be reasons behind this, but just for an outsiders view:
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I think you need more soups and salads! Soups are one of the best dishes for leftovers and you don’t make that many. Salads are easy sides.
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I see a lot of dishes you make with lots of components, but from how you write out dinners it looks like you almost never have leftovers. I think maybe going towards bigger quantities with fewer component might help. I see very few one pot meals and no casseroles, which are awesome for dinner leftovers and can be made in any flavor profile.
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You don’t use a lot of types of noodles or grains, mostly udon and rice. Lo Mein and basic stuff like that is so great for easy lunches, and saves so well. Pasta salads are yum too, and grains in soups (barley, amaranth, etc.) add lots of variety. I also don’t see as much variety in breads, what about flatbreads and tortillas to mix it up, rather than toast?
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I don’t see any wraps an only two sandwiches- such easy lunch options, maybe including more could help with lunch. Any salad can be made into a wrap!
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thank you so much.
Summary
I’ve actually been creating a similar spreadsheet over the past few months of every meal. The lack of noodles and grains and breads are because the shadowy one is doing a carb-aware diet. This also creates a lower soup quotient, because we both love eating soup with bread. I used to make litres of soup every fall and we’d eat soup once or twice a week throughout the winter and sprint. The shadowy one also has a strong aversion for many grains (quinoa, wheatberries, anything that looks like them). We used to eat couscous so much as salads through the summer, and now that is a no-go because it is right at the intersection of the two.
The lack of leftovers is definitely a thing. If there are leftovers either they go into the freezer, or I eat them for lunch. But also the ‘lots of components’ meals tend to be combos of precooked things. So this morning I made blistered green beans and roasted cauliflower, and yesterday I finished up the refried beans, but there are still white beans from the other day. Anything that sounds like a stew and many of the curries came from the freezer - including the butter chicken sauces. Roasted peppers and tomatoes are done in bulk and pulled from the freezer. And the lack of meat sales this past year has definitely reduced the number of curries in the freezer, which makes both of us sad.
salads are mostly not in there because I’m frustrated with the quality of tender leafy greens at our local stores given the price, and the shadowy one doesn’t like the sturdier ones.
This week we should use up
blistered green beans
cauliflower (half is raw and cut up, half is roasted already)
white beans (about 1/3 cup left with broth, flavoured with bay leaf)
3 bell peppers
cilantro (wilting quickly)
green onions (2-3?)
5 small russet potatoes
eta: 2 zucchini, half a cabbage, carrots, onions
tonight is chicken massaman curry (using some of the roasted cauliflower, 2 potatoes), and in a day or two will be aloo gobi for more of the cauliflower & potato. I was trying to think if there was a cauliflower/bell pepper thing (with capers?), but it’s more likely to go with cabbage or the white beans or a shaved carrot salad. I’ll probably end up freezing some of the cauliflower as a soup or puree or on a sheet pan for smaller meals.
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That all makes sense! Too bad Shadowy One doesn’t like cabbage and sturdy greens, but so it goes. I see how you’re using potatoes and sweet potatoes in lieu of grains/noodles, which is smart. Hopefully more big curries are in your future! Or maybe more grain-free soups, lots of beans and veg and meatpossibly? Even though we’re only two I make huge batches of stuff and often double big recipes so we have both leftovers for the week and a weeks-worth serving for the freezer. Definitely depends on prices though, sounds like it’s been rough in your area to get things.
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luckily cabbage is fine in stir fries and fried rice and okonomiyaki, it’s just coleslaw that doesn’t go over particularly well. I should try to see whether I can get bean soups into the enjoyed items. I have done some red lentil things, but I might have just eaten them myself - they don’t like the idea of legumes, but might be willing if the ratio wasn’t too high. Or if they included meat too.
ETA: I chose the wrong time to get picky about meat quality
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Responding to the OP first message in this thread: I was the same a few months ago, spending too much. Since I started tracking all my expenses – starting in Feb 2022 – and knowing where every penny goes, it has really opened my eyes and helped me focus. Doing great now with savings. I think tracking expenses is so important, otherwise you can really miss where you might be overspending.
Using the free Gnucash software to track my personal finances. It’s double entry bookkeeping software but it can do basically the same functionality of Quicken. Quicken’s expense and income “categories” are called expense and income “accounts” in double entry bookkeeping software like Gnucash.
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We survived proxy meal prep! 3 hours all in for a week of food. Ended up making:
Stir fry bowl thing - shredded carrots, cabbage slaw, mushrooms, peppers, pork, rice, spices/sauces, green onions, cilantro.
Pasta bowl thing- pasta, artichokes, milk, cream cheese, tomato sauce, parmesan, cherry tomatoes, bacon, peppers, garlic powder, onion powder, paprika.
The biggest salad ever- kale, grated carrots, croutons, italian dressing, parmesan, dried cranberries. I didn’t have dh make chicken bc I have a ton of breaded chicken fingers made from the other nigh- so those will get chopped up and put over top of the salad.
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Stir fry bowls sound delicious and I’m adding them to my menu…
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saturday - massaman curry (I wonder if there is a better name, this one feels uncomfortable)
sunday - sausage bites, red pepper, cabbage, glass noodles, peanut sauce, sate seasoning
monday - aloo gobi
tuesday - pizza? tbd
wednesday - panko cauliflower tacos (bacon?)
thursday - grilled zucchini & bell pepper, blistered corn, feta, bacon
lunches
leftover massaman curry with cauliflower
leftover glass noodles with green beans
white beans, green beans, dates, walnuts, asiago
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My youngest son has been giving me ideas for saving money. I switched to YouTube tv and saved 75/month versus having cable, switched to T-Mobile’s prepaid plan for 15/month versus 54, put all LED bulbs in for 10/month savings, only getting dogs groomed every 3 months instead of 2 for a savings of 200/year and coloring my own hair for a savings of 400/year. I do need to bathe the dogs myself every 6 weeks between groomings. I also am going to stretch my dogs dentals from 12 to 18 months. They cost 1k each. Unfortunately, Maltese have bad teeth because they are so little.
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Meals this week:
Spaghetti Bolognese, with rosemary
Tofu stir fry
Chicken and smashed potatoes
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