I think my balance of “people whom sell toys” vs “people with education and play ideas” on Instagram feed is off. Time to reconsider. I’m worried about forgetting which local stores to buy from (since for me, almost all my shopping is online even if the store’s in my city). So I guess I need a list I can trust, and then I can drop them from my feed.
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Today is budget accounting. Blaaaah. If I don’t post please someone nag me. Accountability!
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Started making a list of clothing I actually need. Had a good talk with fiancé last night and he said he thinks my spending has been very reasonable and not overblown, which is how I’m feeling. Sitting with that feedback in light of my ~~~~~~~anxiety issues. Remembering feelings are not facts. A few potential factors: I am still figuring out how to track our shared expenses/net worth with Zeta. Having this level of visibility could be making spending feel inflated when it’s actually normal. I have a good job now and no debt. Saving is automated. Very possible I’m still mentally shifting away from a scarcity mindset? Hmm.
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I think so. It’s hard to break out of that. I think that’s why I spend so much on food. I want to make sure we have it, so I tend to overspend just to keep the pantry pretty full.
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This all makes a lot of sense and I appreciate you clarifying 
I’m excited to post here!
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My tricky spot is not feeling guilty for getting things I need. In the past I would make do without many of those items because there was no other option. I have the money for these things now! I replaced a 10 year old vacuum and I shouldn’t be feeling so bad about that knowing I will have the new one for… at least 10 years haha. And I didn’t go into debt to buy it! So what is my deaaaaal.
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Oh, hello, me. I think I once described this as “for some reason, my brains sense of security is acutely tied to how many spare toothpastes I have”. Except that this also applies to pasta, tuna, frozen meats, backup cheddar, etc. A big step for me has been, rather than fighting this inclination (that gave me a panic attack once, cooool), I just figured out a “par” I could live with on key items and made sure I was rotating stuff so it didn’t go bad. As often. I’m still not perfect about it, but at least I’m now more focused on pantry type goods and not like, excess produce that goes bad. Oh that’s another thing- I purposely keep “fridge fillers” like jars of olives and pickles and fire tonic I go through slowly, so that even “empty” my fridge is still full, and that helps prevent overbuying quickly expiring foods.
Novel idea- trying to release my shame and work WITH my weird fuckin brain worked out better for me. How many times I need to learn that exact same lesson in my life, we shall see. 
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I don’t know if this will help you, but I ended up giving my then boyfriend now husband permission to veto any of my clothing that was falling into too much of a state of disrepair. I would keep shoes until they were way past being acceptable, underwear with holes, that sort of thing. And so he’s pretty good at pushing me on when I need to replace some thing even if I am being blind to it or going all scarcity mindset rabbit hole with it.
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I have some of that too. Like when I bought some more dress pants. I bought the pairs that are like $80 (but when they were on sale for 50%) and I still felt like it was a lot of money. I don’t feel too guilty about buying food though. Although I have managed to guilt myself out of buying lunch and just taking my lunch to work.
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Yes hello, it is also me. I have two big 32-roll packs of Charmin at home, but I will most likely buy two more because they are on sale for $5 off until the 8th so I will grab two more to lock in those savings.
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I should probably have Boyfriend do this. Some of my clothing is really pitiful and holey and faded and just awful. Since I WFH now though, and am out in public way less (unless I’m at the community garden, which, ratty clothes are a logical choice for that work), I feel like I don’t even notice any more.
He has also had to encourage me to toss and replace shoes that literally have worn through the sole…
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Yes this 
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But, but, I could still wear them in the garden!!
(The garden is a 10-minute walk each way on city sidewalks. I should do that walk with shoes that actually do not expose my heels.)
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Shit I just realized I’ve been doing this unconsciously for a while. 
Also, um, thanks for the solidarity on holey shoes and underwear, y’all. I’d gotten better at that ish but then… the pandemic, and its stranglehold on shopping.
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Okay!
Well, I went ahead and did the accounting I left off for the past 3 months and I have my August budget all laid out. I’m already anticipating we will need to dip into savings for the move, extra daycare fees, and textbooks. But we have enough cash to cover it and will hopefully get into the swing of things starting in September.
I have this sense of dread that we can’t do this, that this is going to be goodbye to all of our savings. But I guess if that’s the case, then this is what grad school cost us. And if I see that there is an urgent need for more cash, I will simply have to leave for a higher paying job, work contentment and flexibility be damned.
The areas I see we can definitely save more in are eating out and groceries. But since the margin is so razor thin as it is, I don’t think it’s gonna be much we can address this month. Definitely eye opening as this is the first time I’ve worried about not having enough to cover a month in many years. But the silver lining is, if we do manage to do this, we will have the knowledge of being able to be a one-salary family and that will greatly boost my sense of security in the years to come.
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I just had to get “”““permission””“” to buy bras OH, brains!!!
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I’ve sometimes been kind of angry lately that as soon as I gained the ability to actually buy things I like best, vs what is cheapest/clearance/etc, I gained awareness of consumerism/waste and can hardly bring myself to throw away truly worn out things away. I keep getting replacements for things wearing out, but not actually getting rid of the worn out thing. 
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This is why I involved husband. He does the deed for me.
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Weekly $pending
Had to cancel our dinner out with friends, unfortunately, so spending was even lower than expect this week. Other than planned expenses the only charge was $9 for my face wipes that get auto shipped, which I forgot about but want to keep. Since we didn’t do dinner that extra charge doesn’t really matter and I’m still at a lower spend than I expected. It was surprisingly easy to not spend this week but IDK if that’s just because I was basically in bed the entire time. At least I didn’t compensate with online shopping, I guess.
Tomorrow will be hopefully back to the gym, so I might spend like $4 on public transit or $0 if husband drives me, which I think he will. If I can’t go I guess it saves even more money but I hope I can. This week has been brutal.
Meal Planning
Just finished meal planning and it looks like this week will be significantly more expensive than last week. I need a lot more stuff and there are some good deals I want to take advantage of. I’m thinking this will come in around $70.
Here’s my shopping list:
Grocery
4 dozen eggs
2 chicken thighs
1 hot dogs
1 hot dog buns
1 sandwich bread
3 avocados
1 small corn tortillas
3 pints tomatoes
1 feta
3 cans chickpeas
Produce
1 bunch bananas
1 bag apples
1 bag oranges
1 bag pears
1 bag red bell peppers
2 cilantro
1 garlic
1 parsley
1 bag limes
1 bag lemons
1 bag corn on the cob (6 ears min.)
1 bag potatoes (yellow)
1 celery
And here’s our menu for the week:
My breakfast: Tofu and Bean Tacos (w/peppers, corn, cilantro, lime, avocado)
DH’s breakfast: Sausage and Potato Frittata
My snack: fruit, almonds
DH’s snack: PB+J, fruit
Lunch Mon-Fri: 7 Spice Chicken Tabouleh Bowls (w/ bulgur, tomatoes, pine nuts, feta, chickpeas, peppers, lemon, fresh mint, parsley, cilantro).
Dinner Mon-Wed: Hot Dogs + Corn on the Cob + Potato salad (w/awesome homemade mayo)
Dinner Thurs-Fri: Hawaiian Pizza (pineapple, mozzarella, ham)
I’ll wing it after that until we get groceries next weekend.
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I was planning to just follow this thread but am jumping in because of all the clothing discussion. I’m in the process of trying to update my wardrobe and want to be budget (and environment) conscious.
My body has changed pretty significantly over the last 18 months. Since I wasn’t leaving the house for most of this, I mostly lived in PJs for a year which was fine. Now I have a few reasons to leave my house, and we’re having outdoor dinner guests a couple times a month. I’d like to wear something other than PJs for these things 
A few weeks ago I signed up for some thredup/stichfix boxes. They… didn’t really work for me.
I talked to a friend who’s really into fashion and have come up with better hypotheses on what types of clothes I tend to feel good in. Then I went kind of crazy on thredup and bought >20 shirts that will be arriving in the next few days to see how my ideas match reality.
So goals:
- determine how many tops/bottoms/dresses I actually need in my life.
-try everything on and be very strict about whether it deserves to be in my wardrobe
-get rid of things that aren’t working for me anymore (anyone looking for business casual clothes please PM me and if the sizes work I’d love to pass things along.)
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