Money Saving Mindset- Group Journal

HCOL numbers

$2k/mo/partner into separate account for 2-3 years, under threat of shaming. :grimacing: (disclaimer: my experience only. No liability accepted.)



That’s potentially theoretically possible but would be painful and I don’t wanna… but I guess I’m on this thread to figure that out.


Yay! I’m so happy people are into this. And @noodle I’m the same way! I like to inundate myself with things when I’m making a life shift, even if it’s just in the background while I’m doing something else.

Here are some of my goals:

Cut for space
  • I want to report my spending here weekly because that type of pressure is useful to me. This week our only expenses should be: razors, a double date with friends, groceries, prescription. I’m not including consistent monthly subscriptions or bills (or medical appointments) in my spend since that stuff isn’t going to change.

  • I have to get back to using public transit and stop it with lyft. For some reason I’m weirdly anxious about this, not so much bc covid but bc crime, but I need to rip off the bandaid and this week seems as good a time as any.

  • I want to be better about planning my meals around what I have rather than going on whims. Cooking is one of my main hobbies so sometimes I use that as an excuse to buy things I don’t need. BUT, I know it’s a cop out. If I really want to improve my kitchen skills and save money I can improve techniques instead! I also need to bake more again, we’ve been buying a lot of breads and there’s no reason to. I made rolls this week and it wasn’t that much extra work, and they were so good.

  • I want to sell a gifted designer handbag I have but never use because it’s too heavy. I have been putting this off for ages even though there is a consignment store in walking distance of my apartment.

  • I want to keep climbing 3 times a week whenever possible, and build in extra time for showers and sauna afterward, because I fucking love it and it’s a massive luxury to have.

  • Cut to zero takeout/delivery food, which shouldn’t be hard since we were only doing it like once a month.

  • Cut out restaurant food out that isn’t remarkable. We’ve been going to random burger places around the neighborhood and it’s just kind of a waste. I’d rather eat out less often and get better food. I think this started in reaction to things reopening and the excitement of that.

  • Cut all of my clothing spending until 2022. Husband will need a few new work things for winter, like sweaters and some pants and a pair of shoes, but we should go in person to Burlington and Nordstrom Rack because I know I can get better deals there than online.

  • Cut audible after I finish the book I’m on. Switch back to only using Hoopla, with the caveat that I can get audible again if I have a really long immobility time and have suspended my gym membership (like for over a month).

  • Cut using instacart, period. If I want stuff from farther away stores we need to go to the damn stores ourselves!

  • Cut all amazon spending for the next three months.

  • Plan better inexpensive dates and luxuries. I was really good about this for most of our marriage but as we’ve gotten more monied we’ve gotten less creative! We need to get back to little cheap concerts and street fairs and that kind of stuff!

  • Do a less expensive than usual anniversary dinner and budget less for Christmas this year.

Overall I want to be able to consistently save money while affording our relatively high monthly expenses and single income status. I think this can be accomplished if I’m more disciplined and focused!


I thought this was an especially good video about the root of wanting to shop/buy more stuff and how to break those patterns.

Also this is like pantry porn


I’ve been struggling lately with going-out spending, now that we’re fully vaxxed and stuff is open. There is definitely a mindset of “better do this now before Delta shuts everything down!”

Recent sins include:

  • trip to the aquarium, $20/person (and that is the half-price rate that we get for being Chicago residents! Eep.)
  • goth club night #1, $12/person
  • goth club night #2, still to come but we needed advance tickets for this one, $20/person
  • We’re going to renfaire for my birthday and although it is my birthday, I’m splitting the cost with Boyfriend. This will be at least $100 for the zipcar, $25 per person for tickets, and then whatever food we eat (less than $10, likely, I get the cheese fritters and then I cannot eat anything else for hours. Yum, but oof!) (ETA: This is a milestone birthday. There WILL be drinking.)
  • Planned trip to STL to see friends and for Boyfriend to see FIL. The rental car for that is around $500-something, I’m paying half, plus gas.

I know this is excessive but I locked down hard for more than a year and I do feel like more restrictions are coming (or if no restrictions, at least it’ll be way less safe to do things so it’s better to do things now while we can).

The issue near me is, there is a TON of free shit to do here, but the free shit is usually really crowded and big crowds don’t feel safe to me yet, even outdoors. We make a lot of our decisions on where to go on “are vaxxes required” and “can we still distance”, and not on cost.

So, I’m not quite sure what to do about that. Never mind the fact that if we are able to leave Chicago when our lease is up, there’s a big element of “but this is likely the last time we can do this.”


Leaving Target: Since when does handsoap cost $50!?

Oh right I got 2 hand soap refills, 4 jars of pasta sauce, toothbrushes, hair ties, zinc supplements, and granola. Clearly saving money is impossible and I should just go to Cancun or something. :laughing::money_mouth_face:

On a serious note it was interesting to watch the anti shopping videos and see what fit and what didn’t. Because on the whole, I think they are describing a behavior beyond what I see in myself, on the other hand, some of both did click.


I recall some chatter about case studies but I don’t see any in the new threads? I’m considering doing one because I realize that what I say I’m going to spend in certain categories every month (aka a “budget”) and what my average spending actually is in that category are wildly different.


Hi! I’m Ducky and we had to increase our spending to survive my recent pregnancy. Now cute baby is 4 months on the outside, I’m ready to manage more stuff on our own and let go of my online shop browsing habits. On the flipside, I can actually do a heap more activities now, so I want to spend money on getting out as a family, but keep our overall spending the same or lower it.

I have a big motivator - we’re renovating our house sometime in the next 2 years (plans are about to go through the council!). I want to pay as much of it up front as I can.

I like seeing all the people everyone follows!


watching her struggle with changing her channel over the past year to reflect her changing priorities has been exceptionally interesting.

Hi I’m Amanda and I spend too much on groceries and eating out. Plus little dumb things that catch my inner magpie’s attention. I just need to tell my IBL ‘hey we’re not gonna starve, let’s just get the shit we need at the store yeah?’

Also @AllHat I love Frugal Fit Mom too. Here’s some other channels I enjoy if anyone’s interested.

Justin Rhodes:

Perma Pastures Farm:


Also Pete on Just a Few Acres Farm has some great videos where he breaks down the finances of starting and running a small farm.

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This is why we haven’t been back inside Target yet after being fully vaxxed!

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Husband came up with another strategy to save money! We are not using A/C all the time anymore. We’re doing windows except for the very hottest part of the day and I turn it on before I go to bed (very late at night and he gets up really early) so we get some cool down during sleep. Sometimes I think I try to compensate for my extreme physical discomfort by trying to get minor comforts in other areas? Like if I’m already in so much pain I feel like I shouldn’t have to also be hot, or something? Especially when I’m also on a heating pad! So I’ll blast A/C instead of sweating, but that’s just not realistic right now and I need to toughen up a bit. We didn’t even have A/C for a lot of years! LOL, past me would be rolling eyes hard. I think after a week or two it’ll be easier.


I had originally mentioned it, but I’m still trying to get a sense of our finances after our big move, so if you wanted to kick us off, I would love that! My in-laws are coming to visit and we have a few weekend trips planned (all COVID permitting) so I’ll be all over the place for a bit.


OK, now that I’ve determined I don’t need any more clothes, I’m going to set myself some rules.

I will not buy any more clothes except the skirt that I am specifically saving for. (I have the skirt in green and wear it constantly, so I want to get it in another color–specifically, white. I asked the company if they will ever get it back in stock in white and they said in the fall, so I’m planning on that.)

I have already paid for, but not had shipped, a dress from an Instagram seller. I’m going to contact her and ask if she would be OK with refunding me and returning the dress to her inventory. If not, I’ll ask her to just ship it instead of me watching her other sales for more things I want to buy, like I have been.

On a different money saving topic, we have been overspending on food lately. D and I have decided to cut down on treats from the local coffee shop, which will definitely help with that!


A friend of mine made a list of clothing she actually needs and now only buys from the list. It seems so obvious but it’s hard for me to do lol. It works for groceries, so why not other areas of my life???


Every time I think about doing that I’m like “but what about when I walk into the local secondhand store and find something I didn’t know I needed?” :joy: (Like that fruit skirt. It’s so good!)

That is why I need this thread for help :sweat_smile:


Exactly!! Haha


A friend of my DD’s did the 100 Day Dress Challenge and posted pictures on Instagram. She really did wear the same basic dress every day for 3 months with different jewelry, scarves, and cardigans, and she really did look fabulous.

It made me think a lot about clothes.