Wow. You are all amazing. I showed my wife this thread and she started crying from all the kindness shown. This is such a great community!
7 Likes
this is one of my biggest concerns, that the shadowy one will resent my choice to retire later on if things donāt go our way and we need to stay at not as convenient hotels when we travel. otoh, each additional dollar represents a smaller marginal improvement on the odds of success or the potential things weād be spending money on. Changing from an annual spend of $30k to $35k is going to be meaningful, but 75k to 80k I suspect not as much. At a certain point I had to decide it was better to rely on our resilience to adjust to less positive potential futures and turn off the money spout.
5 Likes
Oh, I hedged my stash estimate in so many ways:
- did not include pension
- did not include future social security
- did not include value of our house
- did not include life insurance value
- did not include Spouseās income (or debt) (we have separate finances)
I had reasons for each (mostly not easily define resent value / not expected to use for at least 5 years). But using only my own liquid assets was a pretty conservative estimate.
I left work due to burnout, like @Rosie, and because I could. It can really feel like failure though, like you are āquittingā. But eventually you can proudly say ādamn right I am!ā. In one meeting before I left I told folks ā Iāve had enough, and I have enoughā.
Fortunately the market had gone through a few of the more exciting parts of the roller coaster, so dips were not as scary as they might have been. From a practical perspective, I had a lot on cash on hand when I quit, so no need to sell investments during a scary dip.
5 Likes
So many good thoughts here, which I wonāt rehash.
Iām 40, FI, not retired. Retirement was never my goal, but flexibility to walk away was. Currently on parental leave, lots of changes afoot at work, and have 2 little kids. Itās very possible Iām staring into the face of a work break / change soon.
Two things:
- Iāve found it liberating to call a potential retirement a āsabbaticalā instead, like a 2 year period of experimentation. Lots of my friends have pointed out that I donāt sit still very well anyway.
- What ways of contributing to the world or your community can you weave into your current life? Creating more mentoring office hours? Some hands-on volunteering thatās completely unrelated to your professional skills? Iāve found both to add contentment and meaning for me. While retirement might give me more time for these things, Iām glad I havenāt waited to be retired to do these!
8 Likes
I shared my specific story in order to convey a few more generally applicable messages:
-
The guilt you feel while contemplating quitting is normal and common among the FIRE crowd.
-
You donāt have to figure out exactly whatās next before you quit. You have more time and energy to figure it out when you donāt have a job. And you can make figuring out your passion/finding meaning your top priority project.
-
You donāt have to pick one thing to work on! I shared a list of some of the ways I spend my time not because I think you need my ideas, but to demonstrate that there are a wide, wide variety of options and you can pick one or many that suit your interests.
Now for a new thought that isnāt a more high level summary of the intent behind my first message. It sounds like providing for your family is a big motivator for you. Are there ways that having more time and energy would allow you to enhance their lives? More you could do for them with your time and/or presence? There are many ways you can meet your familyās needs and they donāt all involve money.
11 Likes